Bill Kristol Not Even Trying Anymore At New York Times

If you've read this morning's op-ed from Bill Kristol in the New York Times, feel not alone. You are correct: it does, in fact, make no sense at all. Indeed, the piece is a perfect circle of nonsense. And yet, I understand it perfectly. Bill Kristol's contract to write these columns is about up, he probably won't be back, and he's doing his best to play out the string with as little effort as possible. This week is a special triumph for that mission: it's a column in which the columnist basically filibusters himself.

The basic ingredients are two big news stories that lack any meaningful connection, a smattering of insight that a bunch of people already had, and the conjunction, "but." Here's how it goes:

• Bill Kristol watched Fox News Sunday, a show he is on.
• He recaps a section of the most recent edition of the show he is on.
• He restates something asinine he said on said show (Dick Cheney telling Pat Leahy to "go fuck himself" is "a beautiful statement of justice.")
• He wanders around for a while.
• "Have I praised the "Surge" in the past five minutes? No? Okay! SURGE!" (Twiddles nipples.)
• BUT!
• Rod Blagojevich! He's been in the news, right?
• Adds some funny lines from the wiretaps.
• As noted by others, Blago's wife is a foul-mouthed Cubs hater.
• Fills more column space by including several lines of Rudyard Kipling.
• As noted by others, Blago stopped short of a self-aware line in that poem.
• As noted by others, HAIRBRUSH JOKE.
• As noted previously, Blago was on wiretaps.
• THOUGHTFUL MOMENT: "Hmm. I wonder if Dick Cheney has ever read Kipling?"
• EUREKA: "Woo! I tied this all together! Off to copyedit."

Anyway, the New York Times has abused their readership by printing Kristol's effort-free nonsense for a year, and they've benefited from it because every time he's penned something, people everywhere react with outrage or mocking or fact-checking or criticism, and that's precisely why he was hired in the first place -- not for quality insight, but for the clicks that come from hosting a weekly intellectual highway accident. So, out of fairness, I'm including a link to this mess, but I urge you: do not click it. You'll only be giving the Times what it wants. Trust me: Bill Kristol wants you to read this about as badly as he wanted to write it.

Comments

[lagumbo]

Bill Kristol, Britt Hume, Charles ''Crackhead' Kraufhuar, and all those neo=conservatives are still in shock. They still can't accept that all the spewing of hate, lies, and racists talking points they put out
their, couldn't derail PRESIDENT OBAMA. They still haven't except that a blackman could be so brilliant.
Just watch FAUX NOISE and you see the same expression on all of their faces[utter disbelief] and you hear the sound in their voices.Sean Hannity's face has changed ,he now looks like the face of satan. But Hannity and his guest are still trying, as if they can unelect PRESIDENT OBAMA. The american people has spoken, and before you know it all these racists hate mongers will be gone. The american people will never again allow these divisive people to shape their minds again.The people out there who still beleive, and think like these racists, well their is just know hope for them.

[BachelorJohnnyCool]

William Kristol has the look of someone who breast fed until he was eleven.

[zippywpinhead]

and not from his own mother...

[Geoffrey Dunn - Huffpost Blogger]

My word, Jason, I read the column and I thought precisely the same thing. How did this guy ever get signed up by the Times? The man's mind must be positively garbled. He is the right wing's Gumby, an ideological contortionist with no there there.

[rbenjamin]

Just wondering. IF I press control alt something can I take hits away? Serve 'em right.

[jsgaetano]

You know Kristol secretly loves Blago. After all, they both idolize Nixon.

[Kindheart]

Too bad, Bill-----you never really had any skills to see reality as it is. Bye Bye--don't let the door hit you on the way out.

[chirps]

Poor Kristol. All he wanted for Christmas was a war with Iran and it looks like Bush isn't going to give it to him. I guess he's been naughty!

[dartagnan]

Kristol is a textbook example of a clever fool -- a man who has a high IQ and lots of book smarts but virtually no real-world experience to provide a reality check on his screwy neo-con intellectual theories. Such men are indeed far more dangerous than a mere crook like Blagojevich.

[bogues]

People like Bill Kristol are in a state of shock and still don't know what to do. They are not accustomed to not being the center of attention, so they are flopping around like fish out of water. The have to say and do outragious things to stay in the picture. The American people are swiftly sweeping them to the side. They have not realized that they could put their talents to use and simply get on board and support the new administration. They do not have to continue to stubbornly hold on to something that does not exist anymore.

[Rog49Thomas]

If someone is delusional, how can you determine if they're trying?

Do some hallucinations require more "work" more "logical" processes than others?

[cgoodie]

And, don't forget....Kristol was an early supporter of Palin as the VP running mate...that says much for his political acumen.

[JimboSlice]

In the words of Jon Stewart: "Oh Bill Kristol, are you ever right?"

[realpolitic]

Most of these entilted, second generation movement conservatives likely do not like to work too hard. Could one picture Tucker Carlson ever getting his hands dirty? He would rather hire a swarm of illegal aliens to do any hard labor. Same with Kristol. He has been wrong about everything and has not changed any views or paused to reflect. Just as he mails in his smug commentary on Fox News, he would certainly mail in any written thoughts he is required to make for the hated New York Times.

[lochnessmonster]

I bet if you asked someone would say he's trying alright...

[jsarets]

Give Kristol and his neocon fraternity brothers some time. They were demonstrated to be wildly incorrect about everything. In the world of political news media when you lose any shred of credibility, you have to sit on the board of an NGO for a few months before you can relaunch your public persona. Watch him come back next summer hatching some media-friendly agenda... I'm thinking some wacko synthesis of microfinance, faith groups, and the environment.

[gtposse]

Bill Kristol, just phoning it in!