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Study: Family Behavior Key To Health Of Gay Youth

By LISA LEFF   12/29/08 12:02 AM ET   AP

Youth

SAN FRANCISCO -- Young gay people whose parents or guardians responded negatively when they revealed their sexual orientation were more likely to attempt suicide, experience severe depression and use drugs than those whose families accepted the news, according to a new study.

The way in which parents or guardians respond to a youth's sexual orientation profoundly influences the child's mental health as an adult, say researchers at San Francisco State University, whose findings appear in Monday's journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics.

"Parents love their children and want the best for them," said lead researcher Caitlin Ryan, a social worker who directs the university's Family Acceptance Project. "Now that we have measured all these behaviors, we can see that some of them put youth at extremely high risk and others are wellness-promoting."

Among other findings, the study showed that teens who experienced negative feedback were more than eight times as likely to have attempted suicide, nearly six times as vulnerable to severe depression and more than three times at risk of drug use.

More significantly, Ryan said, ongoing work at San Francisco State suggests that parents who take even baby steps to respond with equanimity instead of rejection can dramatically improve a gay youth's mental health outlook.

One of the most startling findings was that being forbidden to associate with gay peers was as damaging as being physically beaten or verbally abused by their parents in terms of negative feedback, Ryan said.

In the two-part study, Ryan and her colleagues first interviewed 53 families with gay teenagers to identify 106 specific behaviors that could be considered "accepting" or "rejecting." For example, blaming a youth for being bullied at school, shielding him from other relatives or belittling her appearance for not conforming to social expectations fell into the rejecting category.

Next, they surveyed 224 white and Latino gay people between ages 21 and 25 to see which of the behaviors they had experienced growing up. The responses then were matched against the participants' recent histories of severe depression, suicide attempts, substance abuse and unsafe sexual behavior.

While the results might seem intuitive, Ryan said the study, funded by the California Endowment, was the first to establish a link between health problems in gay youths and their home environments.

She has used the information in workshops with parents and other caregivers who have strained relationships with their gay teenagers, and said many were alarmed enough to make immediate changes in their interactions.

Ryan recalled a teenage girl whose mother forced her to date a boy and sent her to live with her grandmother when she learned her daughter was a lesbian. After hearing about the connection between parental attitudes and suicide, the mother stopped arranging the dates with the boy and instead inquired about her daughter's girlfriend.

"She was really concerned," Ryan said. "She saw that her daughter had become increasingly withdrawn and that she was contributing to these feelings of isolation and sadness."

In her paper for the journal Pediatrics, Ryan recommends that medical professionals ask young patients how their families have reacted to their sexual orientations and tell parents that negative reactions may prove harmful even if well-intentioned.

Such conversations are necessary because young people have been coming out at younger ages. Consistent with other studies, the youths in Ryan's study were on average under 11 years old when they first experienced a same-sex attraction, were just over 14 when they realized they were gay and came out to their families before they had turned 16.

Doctors, in a misguided attempt to comfort parents, may tell them a child who isn't sexually active couldn't know if he were gay or not, Ryan said.

"When providers and adults and family members think of gay people, they think of sex. They don't think of emotional attraction or social interaction or spiritual connectedness or deep-rooted psychological feelings," she said.

Sten Vermund, a Vanderbilt University pediatrician who became interested in Ryan's work this summer when she presented her research at the international AIDS conference in Mexico City, agrees that doctors should be encouraged to talk with parents about responding to a child's sexual orientation in a supportive way.

"So many families of children who are gay, bisexual or transgender, particularly families of gay male youth, think that if they are tough on the kid and tell him how unsatisfactory his gay lifestyle is to the family, he will have it knocked out of him," Vermund said.

Vermund said he also was impressed by Ryan's finding that a little bit of familial acceptance could go a long way in increasing a child's chances for future happiness.

"The Southern Baptist doesn't have to become a Unitarian," he said. "Someone can still be uncomfortable with their child's sexual orientation, but if they are somewhat more accepting and do the best the can, they will do the youth a lot of good. That to me is an important message."

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StevenKeirstead
Photographer and Biologist who happens to be gay.
08:16 AM on 01/09/2009
It is very sad that some parents cannot see the damage that they do in disapproving of their gay or lesbian kids. I am thankful my parents were quick to accept my coming out 20 years ago. Initially they were a bit shocked, but within a year they were totally supportive. Now they are quite proud of my marriage to another man.

But it makes me mad and sad to see homeless kids holding up signs saying things like "Please help. My parents kicked me out because I told them I'm gay." Just after Christmas there was a girl in Harvard Square with just such a sign, sitting on the snow covered sidewalk. I know that is an extreme example, but hopefully there will be some good to come of this study,and it will soften the attitude of some anti-gay parents.
05:50 AM on 12/30/2008
What is a gay youth, that is not mistreated by someone at sometime? The price of being open of your lifestyle, is social banning in many conservative societies. The price of having an ideal that is worth fighting for, will create enemies, indirectly or otherwise. The key to living your lifestyle of choice, is defending yourself with pride and your own brand of virtue. If you are Gay, Straight, Bisexual,
Trans-gender, or even animal lover, You have freedom of choice, even if no one else accepts it. No matter who you are, it will always be an uphill battle. There will always be someone who disagrees with you, it is a constant in all living. What is life worth living, if you have no reason to fight for it.
07:10 PM on 12/30/2008
"What is life worth living, if you have no reason to fight for it."

That only that which you fight for is worth having is a common misconception in a violent, competitive society. You state this as though it's self evident, when it fact it's quite demonstrably false. A beautiful day is not less valuable because no one need fight to create or enjoy it.

"What is a gay youth, that is not mistreated by someone at sometime?"

It's childhood without abuse. It's identity and equality without discrimination. It's growing up with self acceptance. It's living without fear. It's finding that one day you've become an adult capable of stable, loving, realistic relationships. It's taking joy in your sexuality starting on the day you're born and continuing until the day you die.

"There will always be someone who disagrees with you..."

You've confused disagreement with discrimination. In American for example, the former is a protected right, the latter is not. Discrimination is the precursor to persecution, and it's particularly heinous when applied to young people.
08:29 PM on 12/31/2008
What? There is no beautiful day when you sit at home with no purpose. Society is what you make it. If no man would have fought for what they wanted Many things would not have existed as it is now that we all enjoy and take for granted on a daily basis. For the second statement, I was merely stating that there will never be a utopian world of complete and utter acceptance for all, it just will never happen, ever. And for many it is a fact of growing up, and if used correctly in can shape a person into a great and honourable being. When I said there will always be someone who disagrees with you, I meant exactly that, I was not speaking of discrimination, that is also an obvious factor, that everyone will have to endure to some capacity in there life. No matter who you are. I agree some people have it off better than others, as far as acceptance goes, but there will never be a utopia for those with any type of life.
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mercury613
In the blue TV screen light
08:34 PM on 12/30/2008
I agree with you somewhat where adults are concerned, but no child should have to endure experiences that put him/her more at risk for depression, drug abuse, and suicide. All children deserve nurturing from their parents.
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midknightryder13
02:38 AM on 12/30/2008
First off, let me say I'm glad this study was done, BUT -- DUH! I could have told you that. Anecdotial experience is not the same as gathering it via The Scientific Method -- however, there is something to be said about overwhelming numbers.