Alberto Gonzales Memoir: What To Expect

I'm just giddy at the thought that former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales is going to grace the world of letters and pen some sort of memoir -- a 'tell all' which, if things hold true to form with the Accepted Traditions of Alberto Gonzales, will likely tell us very little about what went on in his Justice Department and the extent to which Gonzales was responsible.

Fittingly, Gonzo hasn't been able to get a job since departing the White House, because, as the Wall Street Journal mildly puts it, most law firms are "skittish" about hiring someone with his reputation. And in America, when you cannot find a group of lawyers to stand by you, that's saying something. Even Rod Blagojevich has a lawyer, who thinks Blago is "fun." The drive to produce a book likely stems from these post-White House blues, something Gonzales seems to acknowledge:

"What is it that I did that is so fundamentally wrong, that deserves this kind of response to my service?" he said during an interview Tuesday, offering his most extensive comments since leaving government.

What did Gonzo do? Let's revisit that subject with this lovely Venn Diagram produced by Slate. Note who is at the center of it all (you can get further interactive information by clicking here).

Given that Gonzales was positioned at the dead center of every major scandal that has, as Slate's Dahlia Lithwick once put it, "demoralized" the Justice Department, you'd expect any book about his time at the DOJ to be a gripping read. Nevertheless, I think it's safe to say that Gonzales' book will begin with the story about how Monica Goodling bolstered his spirits by tossing him apples, followed by fifteen chapters detailing his failure to remember anything. The end.

Comments

[BigBrax]

09:03 PM on 01/04/2009

So the question is what to expect from Fredo's memoirs? Not much, because he will not be able to recall.

[novowel4me]

07:33 PM on 01/04/2009

Lenin would have classified Alberto as a "useful fool".

[Muskered]

05:05 PM on 01/04/2009

OK , Fredo [the mindless follower] got his. What about Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Ashcroft, and the others?

[KarateKid]

02:46 PM on 01/04/2009

A ton of self serving palaver from someone with no recollecti­on.

[rizvisa1]

03:50 PM on 01/04/2009

I am sure he does not recall saying that too :)

[breakfast]

02:03 PM on 01/04/2009

What could he possibly tell us? He doesn't have a clue and claims not to have been there.

[robeson]

01:57 PM on 01/04/2009

More lies.

[Gregor53]

01:47 PM on 01/04/2009

It will be as interestin­g as Ann Coulter's books. Same audience will buy it, read it and "buy it".

[NotWaldo]

12:25 PM on 01/04/2009

MY MEMOIRS by ALBERTO GONZALEZ

INTRUDUCTI­ON : I Don't Recall

CHAPTER I : I Have No recollecti­on About That

CHAPTER II : I Don't Remember Recalling

CHAPTER III : I Don't Recall (Part II)

CHAPTER IV : Senator, I Don't ... Well You Know !

CHAPTER V : I Forgot All About That Meeting

CHAPTER VI : I Don't Recall Rememberin­g

CHAPTER VII : My Understand­ing Is That I Didn't Memorize

EPILOGUE : I Fooled You All Didn't I ?

THE END

[knerd]

10:09 AM on 01/04/2009

All of this historical reconstruc­tion and legacy-pol­ishing is obscene, shabby and worthy of Herman Goehring and Josef Goebbels. This is history all right but it is simply the history of criminals getting their alibis straight and covering their tracks.

[separatingwheatfromchaff]

08:49 AM on 01/04/2009

Normally people of Gonzo's stature aren't sitting around around waiting for a job offer.A man with his abilities and background is usually at the head of the line when an opening occurs in the prison library,lu­nchroom,et­c.It's about time we reward him with a job that fits his profile.

[aaawyeah]

05:32 AM on 01/04/2009

i would honestly LOVE to joke about this spineless excuse of a human being, but i really just can't.

as i was watching HBO's John Adams (excellent­, btw) last night, i literally teared up at least half a dozen times over the brilliance of that man and of the other great men that founded this country. i'm a bit of history junkie and believe with all my heart that the manner and spirit in which this amazing country of ours was founded was one of those rare, rare moments when our entire species shifts into an entirely new level of decency and humanity - in essence, it brought us just a little bit closer to what we are truly capable of becoming as a people.

of course we've had our low moments. i mean John Adams himself gave us the Alien and Sedition Acts, but to pretend for half a second that the Gonzalez fiasco - along with the truly vile work of David Addington and Dick Cheney (PLEASE read Jane Mayer's unbelievab­le report here: http://www­.newyorker­.com/archi­ve/2006/07­/03/060703­fa_fact1 ) - to pretend for even a millisecon­d that these sorely misguided men haven't shredded and defecated on our constituti­on, is a completely ridiculous read of the facts.

our forefather­s are on spin cycle in their graves right now.

[scottymac11]

01:19 AM on 01/04/2009

Through days of sworn testimony Fredo can't remember who said what to whom. He can't recall what he said, wrote, or did. Where ever he was it was a mystery for him, because he wasn't any where his office did anything at all. This man wants you to pay money for his memoirs. Really!

[djgonebad]

11:06 PM on 01/03/2009

He is a JOKE!!!! WHERE DID HE GET HIS LAW DEGREE, THE DOOR TO DOOR BIBLE SALESMAN IN "PAPPER MOON"?

[lmvd3]

10:50 PM on 01/03/2009

Isn't it obvious?!?

"I do not recall. I do not recall. I do not recall. I do not recall. I do not recall. I do not recall. I do not recall. I do not recall. I do not recall. I do not recall. I do not recall. I do not recall. I do not recall..."

250 pages of not recalling anything.

[rabiddog6708]

10:26 PM on 01/03/2009

What to expect....­..absolute­ly nothing except self-servi­ng excuses and shameless self-promo­tion. I expect to see copies of his and Joe the Plumber's book in the bargin bin.