7 Things No One Tells You About Marriage

You're smart. You know life is no storybook. But admit it: Somewhere deep in your subconscious lurk romantic visions of Cinderella, or maybe Julia Roberts. The images may be sketchy and a little outdated, but you can still make out the silhouette of the bride and Prince Charming riding off into the sunset.

In real life, sometimes your Disney fairy tale ends up feeling more like a Wes Craven horror flick -- and you're the chick who keeps falling down and screaming for her life. I've been there. Let's face it, marriage is not for the faint of heart. You want to believe your pure love for each other will pull you through. And it does. But it ain't always pretty.

That may sound grim. But here's a secret: Sometimes it's the least romantic parts of marriage that have the most to teach you about yourself, your partner, and the nature of love. Read on for some simple truths that will unlock the surprising treasures and pleasures in your imperfect, unstorybook, real-life love.

Read the whole story here.

Comments

[phinney]

Knowing about #5 would have made things alot easier in the beginning. But I was a teenager and no one could tell me anything. Having stuck it out for almost 17 years now, I will add to that list: You will want to walk away more than once, but you'll always be glad you didn't.

[dryrock]

What would the world be like if this article were enclosed with every engagement/wedding ring!

I remember the day, time and place I said to myself: This is as good as it gets. By that I was not looking at it in the sense of "settling". Rather, I looked at my past relationships and felt this one was the best I'd had and I'd better not mess up the opportunity - blemishes and all.

It was at times work to keep it together, but we weren't teenagers and didn't expect a fairy tale life (no pun intended). I still believe it worked because we had fairly realistic expectations - something that would benefit anyone getting their first wedding bands.

[Suzique]

This is priceless. As an old hand at marriage, 30 years, I wish I had had a list like this. I'm printing in out for my daughter, married 3 months. That way, when they have a disagreement, she can pull it our as reference and the laugh they get will coll them down.

[metogamekun]

I really like the end of Hi-Fidelity (the movie as I haven't read the book,) where John Cusak's character finally admits that he's tired of all the fantasies of relationships because they're just that, fantasies. I totally got that. Marriage should not be approached as a fantasy.

My partner (wife) is my best friend and that has helped in our 14 years together.

[Topfeeder]

I'd venture to guess that marriage sucks about 65% of the time.

[phinney]

Only if you are lucky!

[karela]

I want the car!!!

[totalliberal]

It's an Isetta.

http://images.google.ca/images?hl=en&rlz=1T4GGLL_enCA304CA305&resnum=1&q=isetta&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=X&oi=image_result_group&resnum=4&ct=title

Not very practical in a head-on though.

[kellygrrrl]

"it ain't always pretty" -- but what is?

[RationalDubSteppa]

The very first of which is... "It's Really not all that it's cracked up to be... and quite frankly rarely worth it"
... LOL!

[wanj]

LOL!! I beg to differ... my husband drives me nuts sometimes but he also pushes me to grow in every way. I just think people get married with fantasies in their heads.... Reality is, marriage is fulfilling if w/ the right person but it takes compromise. And I mean that in every sense of the word...

[wanj]

This is a great article!

[elann]

6. You'll realize that you can only change yourself.

That's the secret, trust me. :)

[MBryant]

Having someone "partnered" to you economically, socially, sexually, is very handy...
- two can live more cheaply and cheaper yet when they have a long-term commitment - real economic advantages
- there are tax benefits and if you both work you can fit your health care plans for better coverage
- marriage allows for an adult to go back to school or take time for full-time parenting or other rare luxuries of not having to go to work every day for awhile...
- just having someone to split household, life duty, and parenting chores with is great and makes life better
- good or bad, the sex is safer and more plentiful when you are married
- in a good marriage you are never really alone, but you can find time for yourself
- your social network is expanded to include friends of your spouse, some of which can become close friends of yours.

I was married for 25 years - I miss these things