MEDIA
02/07/2009 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Terry McAuliffe Brings Back Robocalls For Virginia Gubernatorial Race

[Corrected, below.]

Remember how awful it was to live in America during the last few weeks of the 2008 election? One of the things that made our daily lives like an endless walk through the blasted heath of Hades were the incessant robocalls we received in our homes, from politicians telling us about how their opponents were terrorists or atheists or Satanic ivory poachers. It was a tough time, but like so many other national crises, we, as a people, endured, and we are entitled to some god damn peace and quiet in 2009. At least from robocalls. But, according to Battler Of Robots Extraordinaire Shaun Dakin of The National Political Do Not Contact Registry, that silence has already been broken by robocalls pertaining to the Virginia Governor race in 2010! WHY, GOD, WHY?

Just who is responsible for this? UGH. Terry McAuliffe, of course! Last seen offering the Hillary Clinton campaign the very best of his illogical, unhinged gum-flapping, McAuliffe has apparently decided that the Commonwealth of Virginia has gone blue enough for him to mount a campaign for the statehouse. I sort of think that McAuliffe has a giant, gaping lack of appeal where the voter profile of rural Virginians is concerned. But clearly this candidacy is founded on Barack Obama's ability to expand on the successes of Jim Webb and Time Kaine statewide, making the iron slightly warm to the touch. You know what is going to alienate those Virginia voters, though? ROBOCALLING THEM IN JANUARY 2009 FOR A RACE IN NOVEMBER 2010.

Dakin sources the McAuliffe robocalls to some activity on Twitter. One of the tweets comes from Miles Grant, a Northern Virginia politico who's running himself for the Virginia House of Delegates -- as reliable a source as you can get. Two other tweets, however, are indicative of the sort of reception McAuliffe is likely to get from Virginians if he doesn't stop and leave them alone. Kevin Reiss tweets, "Got a robocall from Terry McAuliffe about a NoVa town hall meeting this week. What am I going to do if he gets the nomination? Stay home?" Another Twitterer, "vmarinelliRVA," says, "Just got Robo-called by Terry McAuliffe, with message that cuts off the beginning so it's hard to ascertain what he's yammering about. Hrm."

God knows that these Robo-calls are probably done at the suggestion of incompetent Glover Park bridge-troll Mark Penn, who likely got paid seven hundred million dollars for his advice. Anyway, Terry, listen to me: you MUST chill. Sweet Mary in the morning, you MUST chill.

[CORRECTION: An emailer points out something ridiculously obvious! The Virginia Gubernatorial Election is actually this year, not 2010. It's not a mistake I should have made! I regret the error, but not as much as I regret the thought of robo-calls, because 2009 or no, it is just too soon to start them up again.]