Ahh, Dana Perino! We'll miss her! Last night, President Bush's diminutive flack made another appearance on The Daily Show, a venue which, to her credit, she's always managed to present herself as a gracious and likable guest. But, this being her last time -- before she writes her "tell-all where some restrictions apply to the 'tell' and the 'all'" book about her time in the White House, host Jon Stewart wanted to know what the mood was like in the last twelve days of the Bush administration.
"I liken it to graduating from high school or college," Perino said, "because there's an end date, and you're going to have to leave." Finally, the White House gets into "timetables for withdrawal!"
Perino also mentioned that they've planned no pranks, akin to the alleged missing W's on the computer keyboards left behind by the Clinton White House. "During the campaign someone asked if we would remove all of the O's," Perino said, "and I said how do you know we won't remove all the M's and the C's." No one in the audience understood what on earth she was talking about, and finally Stewart had to explain that she was referring to John McCain, because ha ha, everyone hated that guy.
Perino was much better at setting them up for Stewart:
STEWART: Does [the President] seem happy? Does he seem sad? Does he seem drunk?
PERINO: He never seems drunk! He doesn't drink!
Stewart went on to criticize the Bush administration for the very few areas they are leaving in a condition better than they inherited. Perino was quick to disagree, perplexedly suggesting that the Bush administration had effected significant improvements abroad: "I disagree on foreign policy. As compared to what? When we got there?" To be fair, she's only recently gotten up to speed on the Cuban Missile Crisis. In another decade, maybe she'll hear about how Bush's totally awesome plan to create democracies in the Middle East led to the rise* of Hamas and Hezbollah and left Iraq under the influence of Iranian hardliners. That will be neat!
Perino did get this right: "The media was obsessed over what [the former, current, and future Presidents] had for lunch, the color of their ties. They don't talk about substance." Yes. LUCKY FOR YOU, DANA. We'll see you around.
*Written too quickly, words chosen poorly. I would contend that the President's policies have undeniably spurred bolder postures from both Hamas and Hezbollah, and enhanced their influence(s) in the region. But I don't want to confuse the issue. Clearly neither Hamas nor Hezbollah came into being during the Bush administration. I apologize for not being clear.