Jacques Chirac's Dog Bites Him: Chirac Hospitalized After Mauling By "Clinically Depressed" Poodle

Former French president Jacques Chirac was rushed to hospital after being mauled by his own 'clinically depressed' pet dog.

The 76-year-old statesman was savaged by his white Maltese dog - which suffers from frenzied fits and is being treated with anti-depressants.

Read the whole story here.

Comments

[BartLA]

The dog's depressed. He's tired of his diet of brie, escargot, and Veuve Clicquot.

[Clairvaux]

Funny!

[toypiano]

"He's small. He's black. He's mad as hell.
And he's not going to take it anymore. He's...
Poodle With A Mohawk!

You'll never call him Fifi again."

With apologies to Lynda J. Barry. And speedy recovery to Chirac. And "bad dog!" to the poodle.

[PDXTransplant]

He should call Cesar Millan the "Dog Whisperer!" I love that man.

[BartLA]

Actually the dog's agent told him to bite Chirac to get him his own episode of "Dog Whisperer.­"

[PDXTransplant]

I bet Cesar could train Chirac and rehabilitate the dog. Give the dog a couple of Shhtt and a poke and he'd be cured, especially if he took Big Daddy with him.

[MelRoy]

I'm sorry, but I nearly fell apart laughing at this story. It's mostly to do with the fact that French doctors notoriously prescribe pills for everything. I personally know people who don't really have any health problems but their doctors tell them to take about 20 pills a day. Many French people, especially the over-50s, travel with an extra suitcase just to keep their prescriptions in.

It seems that French vets over-prescribe, too.

[cactusgal]

My Chihuahua would like to have a go at him if there's anything left

[toypiano]

LMAO.

[AmandaBC]

I thought Chihuahuas only like tacos...

[GoogleMaster]

Where was clinically depressed Barney when we needed him

[jimmyjones22]

haha, a poodle kicked ur but

[dearlizzie]

Headline says "Poodle" copy says "Malteze" Which is it?

[thewho77]

Those French Poodles are really mean! LOL Those French, always good for a wimp story!

[dutchman]

I was bit - hard - by a standard poodle when bike riding in Boston years ago. He chomped hard on my left "cheek", and not only drew blood and hurt like hell, but caused an embarrassing "wardrobe malfunction" years before having one became fashionable. I think this is a different breed, but I give standard poodles are wide berth, still after all these years.

[dutchman]

BTW - great band, great year.

[thewho77]

Those French even get beat up by the small dogs! LOL

[Merckx]

This is too funny.

[KQuarksSuperKollider]

Now if Barney could just maul Bush all would be right with the world.

[binq56]

I expected it to be in The Onion. Great Headline for a change.

[DemCentrist]

Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy!

[Terrence0258]

This is the funniest headline in history.

[KQuarksSuperKollider]

It would be funnier if the headline was

"Former President Bush Mauled by Depressed Dog Barney after Departure from White House"

[anastasiabeaverhousen]

Poodles and maltese are two entirely different breeds. They both have hair, not fur.....bu­t that's about it with the similarities.

BTW, the photo IS a poodle, not a malty as the blurb indicates.