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02/21/2009 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Scritti Politti: January 21, 2009

From the anecdotal accounts I have pieced together after a weekend of Inaugural festivities, it would appear that "Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)" -- Beyonce's earwormy ode to commitment, cybernetic hands, and brutally imitable choreography -- has emerged as the de facto theme song of the Inauguration. This will no doubt please some, and frustrate others. Was there a ball where this song was not played? If so, let us know. We have to imagine that even Yo Yo Ma showed up prepared to offer his own version of the song. Oh well. Put your hands up!

Purple People, Eaten: I was one of those unlucky purple-beticketed folks who did not get into the Inauguration yesterday (something about a security fence breach and a whole lot of Silver Ticket people who invaded the Purple area, no doubt led by the leader of the Silver People, Nate Silver, who commanded them with statistics). Nevertheless, I was NOT one of the Purple Unfortunates who got stuck in the Underground Tunnel of Doom. Foreign Policy blogger Mark Lynch was, however, and he provides a harrowing firsthand account of the nightmarish scenes below Washington, DC.

Prepare For The Avalanche Of Minutiae!: Apparently, the Obama White House is planning on putting the presidential pool reports online, leaving me to wonder how the web will possibly cope with having something so indefatigably sexy on it.

Obama To Receive Elitist Email Device: Obama will keep his BlackBerry. Maybe an extra-special BlackBerry! As Marc Ambinder relates: "Perhaps the NSA and US telecommunications companies have created a special, more secure digital pathway for Obama's messages to travel on, one that would resist the inevitable penetration attempts by foreign governments." The single biggest reason for keeping the BlackBerry's upgrades under wraps is that if word leaks out, every little frakstain in this city will want one for themselves, and RIM will never ever hear the end of it.

More CNN-iana!: CNN won Inauguration Day! But how will they answer for this image from their PhotoSynth, which depicts a second Barack Obama from a parallel universe? Or for their decision to air the trailer for a sniper-on-politician assassination thriller throughout their coverage?

Bush In Repose: "Note to self: Take out page ten, so that nine and eleven come right next to each other."