COMEDY
03/09/2009 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Obama: You Ain't My B****, N****, Buy Your Own Damn Fries

The good folks at the Boston Phoenix have distilled Barack Obama's tome "Dreams From My Father," to one key phrase: "You ain't my bitch, nigga, buy your own damn fries." (Obama is imitating a friend of his, Ray, who obviously thinks someone is trying to play his bitch in order to elicit french fries.)

Ray gives us other gems (via Obama) such as, "You know that guy ain't shit. Sorry-ass motherfucker ain't got nothing on me," "There are white folks, and then there are ignorant motherfuckers like you," "BLAM, they're on us like there's no tomorrow, high school chicks university chicks, it don't matter," but "fries" takes the cake. It is certainly a contender for a new craze in ringtones.

Ray, whose real name is Keith Kakugawa, was Obama's best friend in high school, but they have fallen out since due to some reported bribery attempts. Kakugawa has been in and out of prison for the past few decades for drug dealing and possession. According to the then-Senator's campaign, Kakugawa threatened to tell negative stories about Obama if money was not wired to him.