San Francisco Man In Massive "Wife Swap" Fallout (VIDEO)

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AP/YouTube   |   February 21, 2009 09:58 AM

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Stephen Fowler

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SAN FRANCISCO - It's safe to say Stephen Fowler probably wishes he never appeared on "Wife Swap."

Fowler's stint on the ABC reality show last month, in which he called a rural Missouri woman spending two weeks in his San Francisco home stupid and simple, has made him famous in the worst way.

His performance has inspired a Web site, StephenFowlerSucks.com, a Facebook group, "I Can not Stand Stephen Fowler from `Wife Swap,'" and public condemnation by his own wife, who on her blog urged him to get professional help.

What has generated such wrath is Fowler's condescending treatment of Gayla Long, a mother of four from rural Missouri whose family likes fast food and paintball. In wince-producing remarks, Fowler, who is British, wrote off middle America with such pronouncements as "Your two languages seem to be bad English and redneck."

Three weeks later, Fowler's "Wife Swap" antics are still a YouTube sensation, with at least 10 postings from the show's Jan. 30 episode displayed on the Web site, most with headings such as "ridiculous elitist" and "elitists gone wild."

Last week, Yahoo posted a clip of the show on its site under the heading "Husbands Behaving Badly." Each new posting or story generates thousands of views and hundreds of galled comments.

Fowler, an environmental entrepreneur who develops biofuels, apologized in a statement posted on his wife's blog for behaving "like a complete jerk" and said he has resigned from the boards of two nonprofit corporations for reflecting badly on the organizations.

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Some news outlets have reported that Fowler says he has received death threats. Neither Fowler nor his wife, Renee Stephens, could be reached to confirm the reports.

"Wife Swap" is a social experiment of sorts in which wives from two very different families exchange lives for two weeks.

Stephens, a self-described life coach and "destination coach" (who says her goal is "to eradicate weight struggles from the planet") joined Long's husband, Alan, the mayor of a town of 55 residents in Missouri.

Fowler, wearing T-shirts that say "Go Solar," "Tree Hugger" and "Sustainability," hosted Gayla Long with his young son and daughter. At one point, as Long read a list of rules for the Fowler family, Fowler told her, "I didn't know you could read." When Long challenged Fowler for acting like he was better than her, he responded: "I probably make more in a week than you make in a year."

At the end of the visit, he said, "God, that woman is the most stupid woman I've ever met in my life."

Friends quoted anonymously in the San Francisco Chronicle said Fowler told them he was instructed to ham it up by "Wife Swap's" producers. His performance evoked a stereotype of the San Francisco elitist liberal -- the tree-hugging do-gooder who acts morally superior while putting down others.

The Fowlers, who live in a large Victorian house in the affluent enclave of Noe Valley, work from home, but a neighbor said he had not seen them in a few days.

The backlash against Fowler appears to have hit his wife as well. On Friday, her blog, on personallifemedia.com, was defaced by a strip of bacon -- an apparent reference to her boast on "Wife Swap" that her family only eats the finest organic, healthy food money can buy.

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HIGHLIGHTS:

HIGHLIGHTS PART 2

(SCROLL DOWN FOR VIDEOS) SAN FRANCISCO - It's safe to say Stephen Fowler probably wishes he never appeared on "Wife Swap." Fowler's stint on the ABC reality show last month, in which he called a rur...
(SCROLL DOWN FOR VIDEOS) SAN FRANCISCO - It's safe to say Stephen Fowler probably wishes he never appeared on "Wife Swap." Fowler's stint on the ABC reality show last month, in which he called a rur...
 
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- Vurz I'm a Fan of Vurz 19 fans permalink
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Is this the same show with the "warrior for Jesus" meltdown some woman had a couple of years ago? I saw that on you-tube.

I'm an environmentally conscious liberal too; but my mother taught me manners. His obviously didn't or he just decided to ignore them as not befitting his station in life. To treat anyone like this is just horrible and he deserves to be shunned by anyone with manners.

So does the TV show. I don't watch "reality" shows or the channels that carry them because I despise the genre so much. I wish people would stop watching them so we could get some good programming back on the air.

I am hoping that someday my satellite provider goes to "pick your own channels" so I can stop supporting stations I never watch.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 02:04 AM on 02/23/2009
- tds1273 I'm a Fan of tds1273 8 fans permalink

The real outrage should be at the "home school" parents on one of the later episodes. That was criminal and CPS should have been called.

...did I really just admit to watching this stuff?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:25 AM on 02/23/2009
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IMHO: No sane person would volunteer for this kind of "experiment" without a hefty financial incentive to place themselves in such jeopardy in the public eye. Let others see you as you really act at home- and film it? Not a good idea as I see it.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:24 PM on 02/22/2009
- foxbat I'm a Fan of foxbat 108 fans permalink
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I would hope that his "actions at home" are not the norm for most people. If they were filming me, I'd be concerned about how my house wasn't cleaned or the "velvet painting of Elvis" on the wall or the 15 cats or the TV always tuned to the latest episode of Cops, but I would hope that my modest upbringing wouldn't impact my manners to others.

I think the "experiment" is an interesting way to "walk a mile in another's shoes" and would just help someone grow from the experience. Unfortunately for me, I'm just plain ... nothing to gawk at and nothing to spike TV ratings. Guess they have to go to the finges to find folks like Fowler. In the case of some of thos families, you're probably right that money is an incentive. In Fowler's case, I would guess that his ego was the issue ... a chance to get on TV and show just how "superior" he really is. Perhaps it will be a life changing lesson for him as well.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 07:49 AM on 02/23/2009
- PuddyKatz I'm a Fan of PuddyKatz 7 fans permalink

This jerk is getting so much bad press that I'm actually beginning to feel sorry for him. Maybe we are overreacting just a little folks?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:46 PM on 02/22/2009
- i5kfun I'm a Fan of i5kfun 3 fans permalink
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No.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:53 PM on 02/22/2009
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Um, yes. He makes painfully valid points that the mouthbreathers in this country don't want to hear.
He just makes them in an acerbic fashion - probably due to sheer frustration of seeing underachievers and mediocrity being exalted in this country.

Just look at who they voted into the Presidency - TWICE.

It's enough to make any sane person want to scream.
So kudos to him for telling painful truths, but he could have done so without the personal vitriol towards the mom.

He could have eviscerated her viewpoints and perspectives without attacking her personally. That was a mistake.

But he wasn't wrong. Not a word of what he said was incorrect.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:10 PM on 02/22/2009
- nkhogan I'm a Fan of nkhogan 80 fans permalink

Did you watch the film clips provided here? I don't feel sorry for him one little bit. He was consistently rude, insulting, mean and abrasive. He did not give this woman a chance. He constantly called her names and put her down in front of his children and in front of the camera.

I did not see him display one ounce of compassion, humility or decency. I think he is now reaping what he sowed. He sowed contempt and is now reaping it. What's good for the goose....

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 05:58 AM on 02/23/2009

I read about this sorry episode in the newspaper. Despite the best efforts of the article writer the truly awful personalities of these people were not revealed. This type of reality TV show appeals to people such as the Fowlers. Who else would agree to such a moronic arrangment in the first place. What interests me about these people is that they are so narcissistic and so removed from the most basic forms of honest self-assessment that they really felt they would appear appealing to a TV audience when just the opposite is so dramatically the case.

The worth of an individual is in their character, it is an old idea but remains true. There is no subsittue for deceny, compassion, modesty. The Fowlers do not represent many of us who live in San Francisco and who were fortunate enough, due to circumstances, to have a good education and a high salary. Neither of those things determines greatness or goodness as the Fowlers demonstrate.

The real losers here are their sad and emotionally battered children who are being given a terrible childhood and no guide to a true set of values. Who would get a small boy out of bed to do homework in front of a TV camera? It is a form of child abuse: child as accessory strikes again. Very tawdry and very sad.

Stop watching these show so they will no longer be made. They are a blight.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:38 PM on 02/22/2009

My husband said he would NEVER want to do that show.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:58 AM on 02/23/2009

As I've posted before, this Stephen Fowler dude was played like a fiddle by the show. He traded his future for a few measly bucks.

A person with an IQ of 153 would have seen this in an instant, and played THEM instead of getting played BY them.

That's one of the interesting things about smart people....they tend to act smart. One of the characteristics of almost-smart people, is that they get led around by the nose-ring by people who ARE smart.

This guy is in the 2nd category.

And...his business? I'll bet it had something to do with helping a man named Mr. Johnathan Mbuti transfer a large sum out of a sub-Sahara country, via his bank account.

Yup...he's a smart cookie, all right!

lexicon

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:25 PM on 02/22/2009

I highly doubt he did it for the money. If, as he said, he makes as much in a week as she does in a year, I can't imagine he was paid more than what he makes in 2 weeks. And who in their right mind would make such a spectacle of themselves for a couple of weeks' pay?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:11 PM on 02/22/2009

The wife is the one who demanded to do it. She wanted the vast free publicity ... it all came down to self-importance and greed,

The Fowler's are pretty terrible folks all in all ... I watched it all on YouTube and could not believe these folks. Made for each other.

They could have made a few points just by CARING some. The rural folks actually seemed like they were open to some changes ... but Stephen has the ethics and manner of Hitler. Such hate and venom.



I feel very sorry for the elitists kids they are producing.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 05:46 PM on 02/23/2009
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I don't even own a TV anymore. Reality TV is trash and it has ruined TV, which wasn't stellar before all this junk but, at least, was not dedicated to making people look foolish and humiliating themselves for 15 minutes of fame.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 07:42 PM on 02/22/2009

I'm from San Francisco and this whole episode is just plain embarassing. Most people are not like that and he gave San Franciscans a bad name. I deplore him for that!

He may be environmentally-friendly and health conscious - many San Franciscans are. He may even have a piece of paper that says he's educated, fine. He's certainly managed to make some money from whatever degree he received. But, honestly, I can't say he's "SMART". For one, he agreed to do this show. For two, his college education clearly didn't teach him how to be classy. Class is about being polite to everyone, not selfishly looking down one's nose at other people's values. How dare him!!!

Just because someone doesn't share your values doesn't mean you need to degrade them - especially on national TV. Even if he remained closed off to learning anything from the midwestern woman, he could have taught her something, and he wasted the opportunity. All he taught her (and his kids) was to insult and create conflict. He taught her that San Franciscans are rude and elitist. Whether his behavior was true to form, or merely exaggerated, it obviously displayed a lack of intelligence and class.

What a jerk!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 07:25 PM on 02/22/2009

There was another show a few years ago where a wealthy couple degraded a country couple. The husband degraded the guest wife in front of his wealthy buddies. Those same people are probably seeing what it feels like now to really work. They're probably Madoff victims.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:00 AM on 02/23/2009
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A degree doesnt necessarly mean anything. There are a lot of educated idiots out in the world.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:01 PM on 02/23/2009
- SharonB I'm a Fan of SharonB 13 fans permalink

After reading the article, did you notice, it wasn't his fault for acting like a heel!!!!!!!!!! The show's baaaaaaaad producers are to blame for telling him to "ham it up".

DAMITALL!!!!!!!!!! Be a man, PLEASE! Don't make it worse by blaming your idiocy on others. How big was the gun they held to your head, id.iot???????

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 06:50 PM on 02/22/2009

I don't get the impression he was hamming it up at all. Looked pretty natural to me. Look how embarrassed his wife was at the meeting of couples. Looked more like she couldn't believe he let this side of him show so blatantly. Rather than being shocked that he behaved in a fashion not like himself.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:36 PM on 02/22/2009
- SharonB I'm a Fan of SharonB 13 fans permalink

His friends claimed he wasnot to blame because the producers of the show told him to.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:00 AM on 02/23/2009
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The fact that this has stirred so much controversy is nothing short of television gold to the producers of Wife Swap who look for drama to sell. There is nothing realistic about reality television. There are only ratings. Don't forget: everybody has an opinion. They are like assh*les. It's not necessary to stick your face up in it and sort what comes out. The stench alone does the job.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 06:46 PM on 02/22/2009
- Ben Green I'm a Fan of Ben Green 2 fans permalink

As a native San Franciscan (and even Noe Valley kid), these two represent all the pretentious, liberal-when-it's-convenient-for-my-over-privileged-life-style crap that's rotting the heart of this city. "We believe in equality for us, so we pay structurally disadvantaged people to do all our cleaning and parenting for us while we work for a 'brighter' future." Pathetic liberal parasites, you give everyone who's actually on the left a bad name.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 06:35 PM on 02/22/2009

I saw the video for the first time point when he stepped to the woman the film crew and the directors and producers should have stood to this man I blame the Wife Swap for the poor interactions between this man and this woman...he is elitest on the worse side of liberalism and just as elist conservatism has a worse side. I will not accept the violence this man has encouraged and his wife is unable to challenge this man for she was taught to believe a english dialect is far superior than that of american and a since of self hate is in play here-I want to know what traumor the children had to go through when this show aired; it would be a nice follow up by the show to talk to the school and see what impact these actions of the father had on the children and I want to know what the parents thoughts of this man who allow their children to visit this nasty man's household; there should be an ethical complaint filed against the mother to check how much of her negative views are passed on to the clients; how many leave her office feeling better or worse...there are online communties to talk about the effectiveness of such counselor...they only things I agreed with this man are testing to enter college and bi-language communications courses taught to children in their grade school...othewise I found this brit cowardly

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 06:22 PM on 02/22/2009

......(head spinning)....

....what?

lexicon

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 07:56 PM on 02/22/2009
- one4obama I'm a Fan of one4obama 11 fans permalink

I had to study the comments intently to grasp what was being said. It is difficult, but can be deciphered!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:50 PM on 02/22/2009
- DruggyBear I'm a Fan of DruggyBear 6 fans permalink
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what a jerk, i wish the new wife would have socked him

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 06:17 PM on 02/22/2009
- The Ghost I'm a Fan of The Ghost 47 fans permalink
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It's what Jesus would do!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:41 AM on 02/23/2009
- SharonB I'm a Fan of SharonB 13 fans permalink

I have wondered what takes place on that show. It cannot be real. How can a woman leave her family and go live with people she has never met for TWO WEEKS??????? Is it played for laughs? THis proves that some folks would do literally anything to be on television.
From what I have read here, this man really misjudged what it was to "ham it up". I hate to tell him, but he did not reflect badly on those two corporations for what he said, it was likely because anyone who would do something as dumb as appearing on one of these shows does not have the capability to open a can of beans much less serve on their boards.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 06:16 PM on 02/22/2009
- carnegie I'm a Fan of carnegie 16 fans permalink
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Whoa, even if the woman from Missouri is a simple clod, that trumps a nasty mean jerk any time. He's lucky the Missouri husband didn't clean his clock.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 06:11 PM on 02/22/2009
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