San Francisco Man In Massive "Wife Swap" Fallout (VIDEO)

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SAN FRANCISCO - It's safe to say Stephen Fowler probably wishes he never appeared on "Wife Swap."

Fowler's stint on the ABC reality show last month, in which he called a rural Missouri woman spending two weeks in his San Francisco home stupid and simple, has made him famous in the worst way.

His performance has inspired a Web site, StephenFowlerSucks.com, a Facebook group, "I Can not Stand Stephen Fowler from `Wife Swap,'" and public condemnation by his own wife, who on her blog urged him to get professional help.

What has generated such wrath is Fowler's condescending treatment of Gayla Long, a mother of four from rural Missouri whose family likes fast food and paintball. In wince-producing remarks, Fowler, who is British, wrote off middle America with such pronouncements as "Your two languages seem to be bad English and redneck."

Three weeks later, Fowler's "Wife Swap" antics are still a YouTube sensation, with at least 10 postings from the show's Jan. 30 episode displayed on the Web site, most with headings such as "ridiculous elitist" and "elitists gone wild."

Last week, Yahoo posted a clip of the show on its site under the heading "Husbands Behaving Badly." Each new posting or story generates thousands of views and hundreds of galled comments.

Fowler, an environmental entrepreneur who develops biofuels, apologized in a statement posted on his wife's blog for behaving "like a complete jerk" and said he has resigned from the boards of two nonprofit corporations for reflecting badly on the organizations.

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Some news outlets have reported that Fowler says he has received death threats. Neither Fowler nor his wife, Renee Stephens, could be reached to confirm the reports.

"Wife Swap" is a social experiment of sorts in which wives from two very different families exchange lives for two weeks.

Stephens, a self-described life coach and "destination coach" (who says her goal is "to eradicate weight struggles from the planet") joined Long's husband, Alan, the mayor of a town of 55 residents in Missouri.

Fowler, wearing T-shirts that say "Go Solar," "Tree Hugger" and "Sustainability," hosted Gayla Long with his young son and daughter. At one point, as Long read a list of rules for the Fowler family, Fowler told her, "I didn't know you could read." When Long challenged Fowler for acting like he was better than her, he responded: "I probably make more in a week than you make in a year."

At the end of the visit, he said, "God, that woman is the most stupid woman I've ever met in my life."

Friends quoted anonymously in the San Francisco Chronicle said Fowler told them he was instructed to ham it up by "Wife Swap's" producers. His performance evoked a stereotype of the San Francisco elitist liberal -- the tree-hugging do-gooder who acts morally superior while putting down others.

The Fowlers, who live in a large Victorian house in the affluent enclave of Noe Valley, work from home, but a neighbor said he had not seen them in a few days.

The backlash against Fowler appears to have hit his wife as well. On Friday, her blog, on personallifemedia.com, was defaced by a strip of bacon -- an apparent reference to her boast on "Wife Swap" that her family only eats the finest organic, healthy food money can buy.

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Comments

[fredjernig]

It's just a show. People are chosen to be caricatures. They accentuate their basic characters to be telegenic. I'd think it's tongue in cheek. It's also not very funny. "I probably earn more in a week than you do in a year". So what? And a bank CEO earns even more and doesn't even have to succeed to be paid. Is he better than you?

And people go on the show and they ridicule themselves and hurt other people's feelings and vice versa and then they regret it. One hint that it's a joke is this thing about the Fowlers wanting to be erudite citizens of the world. The best way to be that is to take interest in your fellow humans and try to find out why they function like they do and the multiple riches that they have in themselves. Given that the US is slightly more influent worldwide than it's former colonial power and that Fowler is actually living and thriving there, perhaps he should ask himself if he's not, at a minimum, rude and ingrate, but also does the US not have immense qualities as well as faults?

[anelder]

I agree, his labeling of himself falls short when it appears his values are based upon the amount of money he makes.

[pollyannacowgirl]

Exactly.

Friend of mine is a producer on this show. She's been a reality TV producer for years. It's a combination of casting and editing. They try to find the most extreme people they can. These people also have to understand that they need to play up their craziness for the camera. You'd be surprised how many people will "act the fool" in front of a camera. Just for the attention.

Now editing can't make people say or do the dumb things they do, but editing just enhances it.

And the producers also manipulate circumstances to encourage certain behaviors...

If a producer is any good, they find the perfect recipe for fireworks among all the participants. It's pretty f*cked up, actually.

[Quintspect]

Distortion through exaggeration is one of the destructive forces of a lot of media.

[PACMAN09]

There is a big difference in "having an education," and "being educated." While both Stephen Fowler and his wife have an education - they certainly don't demonstrate it. They are both arrogant, popous, and selfish. I would love the opportunity to sit down with both of them and explain what good manners are. My recommendation to both - move to France. Your children will no doubt learn how to speak French, the location will suit both of your attitudes, and America will be better off without both of you. The very fact that you hid your "apologies" in a very well hidden location further demonstrates your lack of intestinal fortitude. I will continue to do whatever I can to ensure that both of your actions and behavior will not be soon forgotten....

[overcat]

How about maybe laying off of slamming France? Spend some real time there, meet people and communicate with them in French - as opposed to the typical American/British visitor who expects everyone to know and use English for their benefit - and you might find that there a lot of fine people in that country. Sure many Parisians can often come off as brusque, but that makes them little different than many Manhattanites. Leave slamming France to the republicans, it suits them much better.

[Atmus]

What is SO funny, is that you should listen to what you just typed and apply it to yourself.
Your France comments are pretty amateur, and if you ever thought about it, then you would obviously realize that France falls way short of what they have peddled into your mind via TV, Comedy, and Magazines.

I am not going to get fully into it, but if you are half as smart as you seem then I shouldnt really need to.

[LollieDotCom]

When will I learn to preview my comments??

When I said the woman is as bad a mother as the father, I was talking about the life coach wife is as bad as her husband.

[amdezurik]

lol you all need to go to the discussion about Shelby and tell them how bad all this kind of talk is, I bet some of you are already there talking out your other side now :P

[SOLERSO68]

"Reality" tv sucks. just stop watching exploitation TV.

[LollieDotCom]

I believe in discipline, but the way they treat their children is draconian in the extreme. If their kids grow up to murder their parents, they can always use wife-swap footage in their defense. So, hey, it's not all bad. Everything balances out in the end. lol But seriously, their kids won't murder the creeps, however, tragically, these creeps will become loving grandparents who wince with intense regret every time they see their grown children treating their grandchildren the way they were treated. (speaking from regretful experience and I wasn't half as bad as that couple.)

What I don't get is how the husband is the whipping boy in the article and the comments. Sure he was hateful to the woman. But she's a grown woman. She signed up for a raft of crap. But those poor children, they didn't sign up to become their parents little automatons. And she's just as bad a parent as he is. Every single bit as bad.

[Vieux Charles]

A perverse pleasure to be sure, but I get great satisfaction when a common pr!ck like Mr. Fowler gets his. Still, I hope he actually can recognize how much of an ass he's made of himself and then changes his ways.

[scotsense]

I think you missed the whole "it's made up for morons to watch on TV"point. Why are seemingly intelligent people sucked into this charade in the first place??????

[Vieux Charles]

You know I would have agree with you. I can't imagine how anyone on any of these reality shows could act the way they do. But, we have from an independent source, the Associated Press, that this fellow is indeed having a pretty severe personal wake-up call from his performance.

[CrazyGirlTV]

I never leave comments, but that was revolting! Being worldly in not necessarily being well traveled, but being able to connect to people from different cultures and backgrounds...Let's hope this was more of a play to the camera than actual "real life"! Horrible man.

[Isaflower]

Mr. Fowler claims to be an intelligent man that is a citizen of the world, yet he cannot understand or communicated with an ordinary person with less education and experience in a respectful, classy, accepting way, if he cannot understand and find common ground with her with all the priviledge he has had in his life, then he is the one lacking in character and wisdom.. how does he expect to change the world if he can't share his wisdom with even one person that is not exactly like him.

I have known people like this, they speak a multitude of languages, have a good education and appear to be intelligent, yet can't communicate with someone that does not speak their native language exactly as they do.. I am more impressed by someone that makes something of themselves without all of the priviledge than someone that is really just very mediocre given the advantages they have had, even if they are all very pleased with themselves.

[amdezurik]

why should he have responded to a demanding demeaning female in an accepting way? she marched in with an agenda and got the same right back.

[Isaflower]

Not having watched the show (only the clips above), I have no opinion on the female, but that was not the point of my post anyway. I would expect the behavior you describe from someone with her (assumed) background, but Mr. Fowler should have known better, it is obvious that his ego got the best of him and caused him to act like a well-spoken ignorant fool, Using large words and calm demeanor with proper language structure does not make what you say wise or intelligent, it is the content of what you say not the way it is spoken that makes someone a world class gentleman and this man is obviously not what he claims to be, for if he were, he would have used this opportunity to share what he has learned about the world with this woman instead of using the situation to inflate his already over-sized ego.

I do agree with you that they both most likely are at exactly the same maturity level, if he was just mirroring her behavior then they undoubtedly were on the same wavelength with just differing backgrounds and beliefs.

[local21]

Obama is from middle America so is Hillary.

[Vieux Charles]

Obama is from Hawaii and Hillary is a carpetbagger from Chicago.

[NYCMami]

If he makes so much money why would he appear on "Wife Swap"?

There is no doubt the producers of the show egged on this behavior and encouraged it. However, someone can encourage me to do something all they want and Iif I think it's wrong, it's not happening. Plus, he did go over the edge going to that level and in front of his kids no less.

I bet his wife thought she'd get a nice boost of business from this show. Think again

[jenevieve]

Stephen Fowler says he has an IQ of 158. You would think that someone with a genius IQ would be smarter than he appears to be. The smartest persons I have come across were also the kindest and most compassionate. How smart is it to make and express instant judgments about another person based on their geography, level of formal education, culture, weight, or language skills? Yes, I know the TV folks encouraged his smarmy behavior, but he obligingly displayed his comtemptuous attitude in front of a mass audience. How smart is that? Really smart folks are open to experiencing and learning from those with whom they come in contact, including the guy over there on the bench dressed in rags and drinking his life away, and the girl walking the streets in boots and short skirt, and the convicted felon, and yes, even Republicans. There must be some problem with those IQ tests.

[s miller08]

I could pass judgement on this guy all day long for even appearing on a show like this!

[RustyPatina]

I could pass judgment on the show ever having been created in the first place!

[petphotos]

White trash TV at its worst.

[andonavar]

It's innate in human beings to find ways to feel superior to fellow human beings. He does not have enough "life" education or class to understand that he is simply rude and giving in to the primal and "Simple" part of his human nature . Americans are descendants of people who basically hated the countries in Europe. They risked their lives on the high seas, to get away from those cultures. Those cultures of Europe were the very best at CLASS distinction, which he articulated exquisitely. When England gets rid of the Royal Family Nonsense and makes them all get real jobs, we can debate whose culture is better.

[Abazabazm]

seems to me they started out on the wrong foot, and both were too stubborn to get along from that moment.

Reality TV Aint.......