Britain's Most Unfortunate Baby Names

Across the pond, the British are coming to terms with the fact that some of their citizens are jerks. A study from parenting group at TheBabyWebsite.com found that parents are naming their kids with "humor" in mind in order to ensure their childhoods will be that much more awkward.

What are the names you ask? Justin Case, Barb Dwyer, Stan Still, Paige Turner, Mary Christmas Anna Sasin and Hazel Nutt all make the list.

Retired airman Stan Still, 76, said his name had been "a blooming millstone around my neck my entire life."

Turns out, we're jerks too. Parents here have chosen Annette Curtain and Bill Board as names. The actor Rob Morrow has a wife named Debbon Ayer and has continued the cycle of naming violence by calling his daughter "Tu Morrow."

This, of course, opens up the topic of celebrity baby naming. Here are the top ten offenders:

• Kal-El Cage (Nicholas Cage's son)
• Mars Merkaba (Erykah Badu's daughter)
• Pilot Inspektor (Jason Lee's son)
• Apple Martin (Gwyneth Paltrow's daughter and a name dangerously close to Apple Martini)
• Sage Moonblood (Sly Stallone's son)
• Blanket (Michael Jackson's son)
• Audio Science Clayton (Shannyn Sossamon's son)
• Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen Zappa (Franks' daughter)
• Moxie CrimeFighter (Penn Jillette's daughter--this one's actually kind of awesome)
• Bluebell Madonna (Geri Halliwell)

A piece in "New York Times" in 2006 posited that for celebs these names are the "equivalent of a royal title, a way for a privileged caste to bestow the power of its legacy on future generations." Whatever the reasoning it has more to do with the parents than the kids, and that's just sad.

Comments

[houseofglass]

true name: La-a

Pronounced: La dash a

[gascelebrations]

There's a Harry Wang in Norfolk, Virginia. He's an obstetrician.

[JoDeeVa]

As a former obstretrics/ pedriatrics nurse in Los Angeles, now living in "Kesey-Central" Oregon...I started keeping a "name registry" of my own and I don't which city amazed me more, with names for their offspring!!
Some memorables..
~Starshine (LA/ Ore)
~Utopianne (Ore)
~Roxy Musique (LA-club or band?)
~Moebius Zedrib (Ore-middle name, the architect father's name..creative, eh?)
~Elle Layla (LA)
~Starr Bright (LA on Christmas Eve!)
~Holly Mood (LA on Christmas Day!)
~Grace Freidayd (Ore-After guess who?)
And, of course...Randle McMurphy (need I say Ore?..more than one out there! YAYAH!.....Randle Lives!)

I also once worked with the unfortunate, Dr. Hav'a Pehyn and
the friendly, Dr. Goude Nabbor....;p

[SColbert]

Blanket is the weirdest name, but again its Michael Jackson.

[gascelebrations]

Please tell me that Michael did NOT name his child "Blanket".

[bobbysgurl]

A teacher at a local high school named her two boys, Bow and Arrow.

[bobbysgurl]

A teacher at a local high school named her sons Bow and Arrow.

[tubette]

there was a physician in our town named Safety First....

[sisterdebmac]

I've posted these before in another story, but they're too good not to share one more time...

There used to be a Mickey Mouse and a Bart Simpson in the Atlanta phone book. The video store I used to work for had a customer named Suk Man Hwang. A friend of mine knows a guy named Gary Duda who legally changed his name to G. Zippidy Duda. And there's a local politician around here named Spanky Astman.

[bogglespinks]

How about these beauties:

Amazing Amari Yeah
Aryan
Ayre’ Jordan
Definest
Diablo
Erotica
Imunique
Johnnifer
Jream
Ke’Nautica
Khevyon
King Carleoin
La’Darryl
Las’ Chance’
My’ Lexus
Nemesis
Nimrod
Pawllos
PreciousDarn
Qualynndriqeka

For a more in depth look at Ghetto Names for the people who love/hate them, check out my blog at www.theghettobookofbabynames.blogspot.com

[kittyarmy]

I know a guy who named his son & daughter "Seagram" & "Alize".....which started me to wonder about the kind of people I hang out with...

[SColbert]

I actually like the word Aryan, of course this is if it was void of its meaning and history.

[OrganOfThought]

Amongst Persians or Iranians it is a normal culturally acceptable name with historic connections to their nation.

I actually know an Iranian named that. He was born there. It actually does mean the same thing that it does here (minus the WWII connection).

I don't see a problem with anyone being named that, unless their parents specifically meant it as an anti-semetic statement.

[emmeaki]

I have two uncles named Lawyer Royal Joseph and Lawyer Royal Washington.

[sp4i6]

Justin Time

[bluerednot]

look up "Ima Hogg" - hard to believe that somebody would do that to a kid.

[OrganOfThought]

She was a great person though. Our nation was lucky to have her while we did. I don't think she was embarrassed by her name.

[bgoodric]

Here in Colorado there's an unpopular conservative Republican named Richard Wadhams, who infelicitously chose the usual nickname, Dick. You can guess how his critics pronounce his name. I actually feel sorry for the guy.

[MickeyQ]

My uncle was Dick Johnson.

[naviline]

One of my father's best friends is also Dick Johnson. Why don't these guys choose Richard? Really.

[IllinoisTexan43]

20 years ago I broke up a fight between my sister and her ex's new girlfriend. Name: Mari juan a Pepsi. I kid you not.