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Britain's Most Unfortunate Baby Names

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Across the pond, the British are coming to terms with the fact that some of their citizens are jerks. A study from parenting group at TheBabyWebsite.com found that parents are naming their kids with "humor" in mind in order to ensure their childhoods will be that much more awkward.

What are the names you ask? Justin Case, Barb Dwyer, Stan Still, Paige Turner, Mary Christmas Anna Sasin and Hazel Nutt all make the list.

Retired airman Stan Still, 76, said his name had been "a blooming millstone around my neck my entire life."

Turns out, we're jerks too. Parents here have chosen Annette Curtain and Bill Board as names. The actor Rob Morrow has a wife named Debbon Ayer and has continued the cycle of naming violence by calling his daughter "Tu Morrow."

This, of course, opens up the topic of celebrity baby naming. Here are the top ten offenders:

  • Kal-El Cage (Nicholas Cage's son)
  • Mars Merkaba (Erykah Badu's daughter)
  • Pilot Inspektor (Jason Lee's son)
  • Apple Martin (Gwyneth Paltrow's daughter and a name dangerously close to Apple Martini)
  • Sage Moonblood (Sly Stallone's son)
  • Blanket (Michael Jackson's son)
  • Audio Science Clayton (Shannyn Sossamon's son)
  • Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen Zappa (Franks' daughter)
  • Moxie CrimeFighter (Penn Jillette's daughter--this one's actually kind of awesome)
  • Bluebell Madonna (Geri Halliwell)

A piece in "New York Times" in 2006 posited that for celebs these names are the "equivalent of a royal title, a way for a privileged caste to bestow the power of its legacy on future generations." Whatever the reasoning it has more to do with the parents than the kids, and that's just sad.

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