COMEDY
03/30/2009 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

ATF Agents Closing In On Nation's Most Notorious Cigarette Bummer

WASHINGTON--A spokesperson for the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives announced Tuesday that the agency has intensified its manhunt for an individual suspected of bumming more than 75,000 cigarettes nationwide.

ATF agents, who have tracked the elusive cigarette moocher for nearly four years, claimed they could be just days away from apprehending the "single greatest threat" to American smokers.

"For far too long, this lowlife criminal has preyed upon unsuspecting cigarette owners," ATF spokesman Stuart Thompson said. "But we are confident that recent developments will finally allow us to bring down this menace to justice once and for all."

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