04/03/2009 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

What To Do With Old Trophies

There are plenty of crafty reuses for trophies. One can make a decorative yard ornament or put trophies in a terrarium with their turtle, or a person could make an art piece that represents the 'inner trophy in all mankind.' But I don't hearken to crafty ideas. I like practical ideas. I'm no fun. My face is stern and pallid. See that little picture of me at the top of this web page? That's the only time I've ever smiled.