04/12/2009 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

PETA George Clooney Tofu Being Created, To Disgust People

Even with Bernie Madoff topping the headlines today, I have a strong feeling that the most disturbing news you will read in any newspaper today is the plan hatched by the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, involving the creation of George Clooney-flavored tofu, called CloFu.

In a letter sent to the actor, Newkirk said that PETA has been offered his gym towel (obtained right here in D.C.!) and wants to use his sweat to create Clooney tofu that will "spare animals from being killed for the table." She went on to explain that the science is pretty simple, like "making artificial chicken flavor for instant gravy."

Uhm, look. I'm just not ready for the idea of tofu seasoned with somebody's rogue gym towel. That the process of creating it is akin to making instant gravy ... well ... look, that actually isn't helping, either.

Clooney, speaking through a representative, said, "As a mammal, I'm offended." I'd add that based upon the quantity of gorge currently trapped in my esophagus, totally repeating on me, as an animal, I do not feel like I have been treated ethically by this news.

[Would you like to follow me on Twitter? Because why not? Also, please send tips to tv@huffingtonpost.com -- learn more about our media monitoring project here.]