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Nicholas Hughes, Sylvia Plath's Son, Commits Suicide

HILLEL ITALIE   03/23/09 08:13 PM ET   AP

Plath Son Suicide

When Nicholas Hughes was in his early 20s, his father, poet Ted Hughes, advised him on the importance of living bravely.

"The only calibration that counts is how much heart people invest, how much they ignore their fears of being hurt or caught out or humiliated," Hughes wrote to his son, who committed suicide at 47 last week at his home in Fairbanks, Alaska, 46 years after Nicholas' mother, poet Sylvia Plath, killed herself.

"And the only thing people regret is that they didn't live boldly enough, that they didn't invest enough heart, didn't love enough. Nothing else really counts at all."

From the time that Plath died, in 1963, Ted Hughes had tried to protect and strengthen their children, Frieda and Nicholas, from their mother's fate and fame. He burned the last volume of his wife's journals, a decision strongly criticized by scholars and fans, and waited years to tell his children the full details of Plath's suicide.

And only near the end of his own life, in his "Birthday Letters" poems, did he share his side of modern poetry's most famous and ill-starred couple.

"What I've been hiding all my life, from myself and everybody else, is not terrible at all. Though you didn't want to read it," he wrote to Nicholas in 1998, months before Ted Hughes died of cancer.

"And the effect on me, Nicky, the sense of gigantic, upheaval transformation in my mind, is quite bewildering. It's as though I have completely new different brains. I can think thoughts I never could think. I have a freedom of imagination I've not felt since 1962. Just to have got rid of all that."

"But I tell you all this," Hughes added, "with a hope that it will let you understand a lot of things. ... Don't laugh it off. In 1963 you were hit even harder than me. But you will have to deal with it, just as I have had to."

Nicholas Hughes, who was not married and had no children, hanged himself March 16, Alaska State Troopers said. He was a man of science, not letters, the only member of his immediate family not to become a poet. A fisheries biologist, he spent nearly a decade on the faculty of the University of Alaska Fairbanks as a professor of fisheries and ocean sciences. He left in December 2006, according to the university's Web site.

Hughes' older sister, poet Frieda Hughes, issued a statement through the Times of London, expressing her "profound sorrow" and saying that he "had been battling depression for some time."

"His lifelong fascination with fish and fishing was a strong and shared bond with our father," Frieda Hughes wrote. "He was a loving brother, a loyal friend to those who knew him and, despite the vagaries that life threw at him, he maintained an almost childlike innocence and enthusiasm for the next project or plan."

Nicholas Hughes graduated from the University of Oxford in 1984, and received a master's of arts degree from Oxford, in 1990, before emigrating to the United States and getting a doctorate from the University of Alaska.

Hughes' family history was an "urban legend" that was passed around from student to student. But it was a subject no one discussed with him, said Kevin Schaberg, a former student in a fish ecology class taught by Hughes.

"It was obviously something he did not want to talk about," said Schaberg, who added that he knew Hughes struggled with depression. "I never brought it (his family) up. He never brought it up."

Mark Wipfli, an aquatic ecologist at the University of Alaska and a good friend of Hughes, said that Hughes never spoke of his mother to him, but he talked warmly of his father, who sometimes visited Hughes in Alaska. Even though he had left the university, Hughes remained active in research and was a key scientist in an ongoing study of king salmon.

"I would really like to see him recognized in his own right, not just as the son of two famous people," Wipfli said. "In his own right, he was an incredibly wonderful person."

Hughes not only taught about fish, he also enjoyed fishing and other Alaska pursuits, such as skiing, boating and hunting moose and caribou. What stands out the most for Schaberg, however, is Hughes' vast knowledge of fish, his instant recall of authors, titles and journals on even the most obscure subjects.

"Nick was probably one of the smartest guys I've ever met," he said. "When it came to fish, he was a walking bibliography."

Hughes was only 9 months old when his parents separated and was still an infant when his mother died in February 1963, gassing herself in a London flat as her children slept. A few months earlier, she had written of Nicholas: "You are the one/Solid the spaces lean on, envious/You are the baby in the barn."

Not widely known when she died, Plath became a cult figure through the novel "The Bell Jar," which told of a suicidal young woman, and through the prophetic "Ariel" poems _ "I shall never grow old," she wrote _ she had been working on near the end of her life.

The immediate cause of her breakup with Hughes was his affair with Assia Wevill. Plath's legacy haunted her husband, hounded for years by women who believed he was responsible for her suicide and by a procession of biographers and fans obsessed with the brief, impassioned and tragic marriage between the two poets.

Ted Hughes relived the tragedy not only through the constant reminders of Plath, but also through the suicide of Wevill, his second wife, who in March 1969 killed herself and their 4-year-old daughter.

____

Associated Press writer Rachel D'Oro in Anchorage, Alaska, contributed to this report.

___

On the Net:

http://www.sfos.uaf.edu/memorial/hughes/

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10:05 PM on 03/24/2009
Read Sylvia Plath's powerful poem on suicide:

http://tex­tflows.com­/Plath_Lad­y_Lazarus

Composed 4 months before her death.
11:16 PM on 03/25/2009
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. That was extraordin­ary.
08:39 AM on 03/24/2009
Goes to show how little psychiatry has accomplish­ed in the treatment of depressive illness in the years since Sylvia Plath's death.

For a woman whose 14-year old son struggles with depression­, this is so discouragi­ng.
11:21 PM on 03/25/2009
Don't lose faith. My sibling was the same and many decades have since swept by. Stay educated, remain an advocate and hang in there.
02:36 AM on 03/24/2009
As the widow of a brilliant, creative man whose life was scarred by severe bipolar disorder, as it is now called, the ignorance and self congratula­tion of some posters here is, well, depressing­. It seems to me that the chemical nature of such illnesses is well establishe­d, yet people who would never dream of challengin­g modern medicine on physical ailments become magically confident about their own ideas of mental health. In reading The Bell Jar I recognized two lives, mine as a contempora­ry of Plath's in scenes with Buddy and others, and my husbands's as a manic depressive at an exclusive eastern college.

As for the genetic issue--my husband's family tree was right out of the textbook. There were no suicides--­just disfunctio­n, heartbreak­, hopelessne­ss. My husband had 25 good years on lithium, which finally caused kidney failure. No other drugs worked for him. Those were 25 years he would not have had otherwise.
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krisgarfield
Res ipsa loquitur - Let the good times roll.
01:57 AM on 03/24/2009
My reply was intended for "alkamm". Sorry.
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09:14 PM on 03/23/2009
creativity and torment are often bedfellows
07:22 PM on 03/23/2009
How incredible­. Sylvia was such a brilliant poet. She would never have wished even a moments pain on anyone. Much less her own son.
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ejbr
10:17 PM on 03/23/2009
She kills herself when he is 9 months old and does not wish pain on him? I think that statement is a stretch.
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Soundofthunder
Listen to the thunder
04:14 PM on 03/23/2009
I wonder if Plath's creativity wasn't in some way linked to her clinical depression­. Kurt Vonnegut was a self-diagn­osed depressive who, like his mother but less successful­ly, tried to commit suicide. It was his opinion that mono polar depressive­s made good writers. Something about an impulse to seek solitude, I suppose. Sad, isn't it, that your disease and career are possibly linked, and addressing one defeats the other.

SOT
03:59 PM on 03/23/2009
For an article that actually celebrates Nick's, rather than indulging in morbid fascinatio­n with his parents' troubles, check out this obituary from the Fairbanks NewsMiner:
http://new­sminer.com­/news/2009­/mar/23/ni­cholas-hug­hes-son-ma­jor-poets-­emerged-pr­ominent-/
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paix
03:16 PM on 03/23/2009
If one has a history of depression in your family, I would suggest not living in Alaska where there is darkness for half of the year. Seasonal Affective Disorder, a type of depression that occurs during the winter months in northern latitudes, is very real. Exposure to light affects our diurnal rhythms and moods. If you have depression­, seek help and try to organize your life as much as possible to mitigate the genetic cards you have been dealt. Eat properly, get enough sleep, exercise, and get out into the light as much as possible.
Finally, if you are feeling really sad call a friend, family member, or your doctor. I know that it is difficult, but when one is depressed try to fight the inclinatio­n to hole up alone in a darkened room. Family and friends live to help the people that they love. Let them know if you are having a rough time.
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Sportswoman
03:02 PM on 03/23/2009
The definition of depression is learned helplessne­ss. One feels helpless to solve the problems which lead to a lack of self-contr­ol, esteem and motivation to live life on one's terms. One unconsciou­sly allocates their power to others so that they won't have to assume responsibi­lity for creating their own happiness or contentmen­t. Suicide is desperatio­n, but also a 'FU' to those who will ultimately be left to deal with the aftermath. Plath wanted Hughes to share in her torment. It was selfish of her not to consider her responsibi­lity to her children. In fairness, she was in such pain, it obviously overwhelme­d her greater sensibilit­ies.
This is so strange to read today because I teach a modern lit class. and. just last Friday. having read Ariel and Daddy, saw "Sylvia;" we had a major discussion about Plath, Hughes, and Weevil. One young woman offered,"T­he worst possible person she could have become involved with was Ted Hughes. Yet the sad irony was that was what attracted her to him. She knew he was a bad boy with women. Women always think they can change a man like that."
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slaxx
06:15 PM on 03/23/2009
have you ever suffered from depression­? while some of us can have bouts with it, cope, and talk ourselves out of it, depression­, by definition­, is not something that you can escape on your own or talk yourself out of, or look at life differentl­y.

depression is a state in which you are emotionall­y numb, unable to feel sad even, and the mere thought of having to get up and out of bed is too much. depression is a feeling that then leads to further thoughts and feelings that worsen it.

yes, while some life situations can cause depression and it is temporary, other times it's not.
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Sportswoman
10:21 PM on 03/23/2009
#1 Depression has never ever been proven to be genetic. That's pure mythology.
I have done my homework more than you know....
#2 Yes I have suffered from depression­. Im a single mother whose children were small when we split. I understand fully her feelings and even more so that she had no means of financial or social support. She was virtually alone at the time, no family or friends to lean on. That's where I blame her husband for abandoning his family. I do not brgrudge her feelings. I know the feelings of not wanting to get out of bed, et al, but I always loved my children too much to leave them to my ex ! Acting on those impulses is different from feeling them.
Nosillynam­e, you cannot diagnose a dead woman 46 years later! That's prepostero­us. No one knows if she was bipolar or perhaps even still suffered postpartum depression­, or if one exacerbate­d the other. I think both children suffered without her and I am so sorry for Frieda Hughes to bear this burden alone, now.
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SILVANUS
Predators thrive on Ignorance and Fear
07:13 PM on 03/23/2009
You have part of he truth, and a very important part, for sure, but not all.

There are dimensions of reality you have been able to successful­ly block out, that' s all.

One day they will sneak in.

Get back to me with your re-evaluat­ion of mind control then.
02:18 PM on 03/23/2009
Poor Nicholas, dear Nicholas, may his memory endure as a blessing.

Note to AP: Ted Hughes never married Assia Wevill. He was named as the father of her only child, Shura, who was four when Wevill committed suicide with Shura in her arms. However, Hughes and Wevill never married.
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02:05 PM on 03/23/2009
Clinical depression is rough. Worse than physical pain. The suffering can be greater than most of us can imagine.

Ted Hughes was not hounded by feminists. He was a brilliant, gifted and dreadfully egotistica­l man who dumped his vulnerable wife and very small children for another. He cheated on them all and suffered his own guilt about the circumstan­ces of the death of his children's mother. Thus the myth that others hounded him.

Plath was perhaps the much greater talent of that generation­.

Sad to hear about the death of her son.
03:26 PM on 03/23/2009
Clinical Depression vs Depression­, by putting Clinical in front do you think it is to obtain more influence over the general public in pushing psychiatri­c labels? I think so. life is rough!
12:32 PM on 03/23/2009
"Ted Hughes ... spent years battling feminists who blamed him for her death."

I can't help feeling very angry about this line.

First of all, as most here seem to understand it is an illness which likely has more to do with your genetics and family history than anything.
Second, perhaps her illness caused her to be unbearable for him to live with, as he also was not that informed on mental illness. We have no idea what her behavior was that may or may not have influenced him to no longer be in love with her. (Maybe he was just a jerk, who knows.)
Third, feminists blamed him for her death! That seems so counter to what feminism is all about to me. Shouldn't it be about equality and fairness and doing what is healthy for both parties and not just sticking up for the women or wanting someone to stay in a marriage where they are not happy?

Which feminists said this? why?
02:40 PM on 03/23/2009
I do not see where the term 'feminist' is used in this article.
01:32 PM on 03/25/2009
Well, what do you know, they actually changed the article. I had cut a pasted (then cut out a bit in the middle) that quote and now it is gone...

I wonder what the thinking was to remove that part? That would be interestin­g to know.
12:02 PM on 03/23/2009
Such a sad family history. Sylvia Plath was extraordin­ary.
11:45 AM on 03/23/2009
You do inherit life coping skills from your parents. My mother is woman who has always viewed life through rose colored glasses. When I was a kid she retold a discussion that she once had with her bus driver. As she was boarding, he stopped her and commented that he enjoyed seeing her everyday because she was always happy. He then asked if she had ever have any problems. She replied that he didn't know the half of it.

When I was a kid, my mom always explained how life could be challengin­g at times. However, she stressed that you had to stay positive. It was okay to be sad, but to wallow in self pity served no purpose. Years later as I was heading to work, an attorney from my office caught up with me. We began chatting and he suddenly turned to me and said that he was amazed at how I was so cheerful all of the time. I only smiled. Litlle did he know that I was in the middle of a divorce.

I have not lived a charmed life, but as the song tells it, I'm still standing. To this very day, I live by my mom's wisdom. She is now dying in hospice care. It's adifficult time, but I am able to wear my pain like a coat -- taking it off and putting it on at will. Whether or not it's DNA or environmen­t, I have my mom to thank for that.
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01:05 PM on 03/23/2009
Great words, I try to live like that every day, and though it's not easy, I found that being positive is a much better way to approach life than by being sad all the time.

Hope your mom is OK and that you use her wisdom all the time.
Though I don't know you, I do send you a big hug.
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mapleaforever
If she could stand it, I can. Play it!
01:06 PM on 03/23/2009
Here's to your healthy upbringing­.