COMEDY
04/23/2009 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Woody Allen's Madoff Revenge Fantasy

Two weeks ago, Abe Moscowitz dropped dead of a heart attack and was reincarnated as a lobster. Trapped off the coast of Maine, he was shipped to Manhattan and dumped into a tank at a posh Upper East Side seafood restaurant. In the tank there were several other lobsters, one of whom recognized him. "Abe, is that you?" the creature asked, his antennae perking up.

"Who's that? Who's talking to me?" Moscowitz said, still dazed by the mystical slam-bang postmortem that had transmogrified him into a crustacean.

"It's me, Moe Silverman," the other lobster said.

"O.M.G.!" Moscowitz piped, recognizing the voice of an old gin-rummy colleague. "What's going on?"

"We're reborn," Moe explained. "As a couple of two-pounders."

"Lobsters? This is how I wind up after leading a just life? In a tank on Third Avenue?"

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