POLITICS
05/01/2009 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Bill O'Reilly Threatens To Not Travel To Spain Anymore (VIDEO)

Oh, snap, y'all! Fox News' Bill O'Reilly is WARRING, people! And not just with tearful towheaded turf taker Glenn Beck. No, no! O'Reilly has heard the latest news from Spain, and is just mad indignant over it all. So during last night's "Talking Points" section, he gave Spain a hot mug of SUCK IT.

Why? Well, it seems that Spain has cast a rueful eye at the Americans who dreamed up every foreign policy disaster and every facile abridgment of the moral code of the past decade and decided that there ought to be a law, or something, maybe a Spanish one!

A high-level Spanish court has taken the first steps toward opening a criminal investigation against six former Bush administration officials, including former Attorney General Alberto R. Gonzales, on whether they violated international law by providing a legalistic framework to justify the use of torture of prisoners at Guantánamo Bay, Cuba, an official close to the case said.

[...]

The complaint under review also names John C. Yoo, the former Justice Department lawyer who wrote secret legal opinions saying the president had the authority to circumvent the Geneva Conventions, and Douglas J. Feith, the former under secretary of defense for policy.

The other Americans named in the complaint were William J. Haynes II, former general counsel for the Department of Defense; Jay S. Bybee, Mr. Yoo's former boss at the Justice Department's Office of Legal Counsel; and David S. Addington, who was the chief of staff and legal adviser to Vice President Dick Cheney.

It's actually a shrewd move, ensuring that some of the worst men in the world will never come to Spain. I wish that I could do something similar for, say, my apartment. But, because this this whole matter is obviously a global conspiracy between the Center For American Progress, the National Broadcasting Company, FC Barcelona, and the United Parcel Service, with the strings being pulled by villainous puppetmaster Amanda Terkel, O'Reilly is decrying Spain's sovereign right to have their own opinions about stuff.

"So here's the deal, Spain," intoned O'Reilly, as if Spain cared, "If this goes forward, you'll be insulting America." And, the money shot: "Unless this action is condemned by Spanish Prime Minister Zapatero, then I am not going to that country."

Clearly, Spain should not look this gift horse in the mouth.

[WATCH.]

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