Yesterday, I couldn't help but feel cheated that the doom-rooming, gasoline-pouring, fake-sobbing, out-freaking Glenn Beck went all the way to the Alamo for the Fox Teabag Party Day and not give America that quintessential "54/40 or Fight!" moment that we all deserved to experience. Turns out, he saved that moment for later, when, while appearing on On The Record, he and Greta Van Susteren got onto the subject of Texas secession. Yes! Secession! It's not just for Vermont academics and Sarah Palin's spouse anymore, I guess!
VAN SUSTEREN: You know, from here, Glenn, listening to Governor Perry last night and watching your crowd and listening to the things that are coming out of Texas -- I don't want to be too dramatic, but it almost seems like Texas is going to secede from the rest of the nation.
BECK: I mean, I don't know- can we get this back here? [Points to a banner] This is on the jib back over here. This says "Texas independence." ... And the reason is -- correct me if I'm wrong -- these people love America. They just think Texas does America best!
As you can see, Beck's sort of wimpily half-stepping on the subject of Texas seceding from the Union. He was a little braver on his eponymous radio program, the day before:
BECK: Does the individual have any rights anymore? Does the state have any right any more? And I know, because I've heard it, from all of the conservative, uh, you know, uh, historians...and scholars, and everything else. But you can't convince me that the founding fathers wouldn't allow you to secede. The Constitution is not a suicide pact. And if a state says, I don't want to go there, because that's suicide, they have a right to back out. They have a right. People have a right to not commit economic suicide...I sign into this Union, and I can never get out, no matter what the government does? I can never get out? Well that leaves only one other option. That doesn't seem like a good option.
Considering we're talking about cutting most American's taxes and offering the state of Texas stimulative aid to keep people employed and productive, it sure doesn't seem like a good option.
Nevertheless, it simply isn't true that Beck has only secession and suicide as options for getting out of this Union. As Jesse Berney writes for HuffPo today, Beck's got a simple solution available to him:
I think that's a little melodramatic, Glenn. Besides, there's another option. You can renounce your citizenship.
It's not even hard. All you have to do is travel to a foreign country, visit a U.S. embassy or consulate, and sign a paper declaring that you're no longer a citizen.
Secession is illegal, and suicide is drastic. So if you're too lazy to work for what you believe in, if you really believe that a modest tax hike on the wealthiest Americans is tantamount to destroying our nation, please feel free to get out while the getting is good.
Alternatively, he could find a nice ice floe to straight up "GO GALT" on.
PREVIOUSLY...on the HUFFINGTON POST
Jesse Berney: An Open Letter to Glenn Beck
Glenn Beck At The Alamo: Sort Of A Letdown (VIDEO)
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