Glenn Beck Expresses 'Erotic' Joy From Man Cutting Trees And Hunting On Earth Day

It turns out that the unrelenting insanity that I had hoped Glenn Beck might put on display on Teabag Day, he saved in reserve for Earth Day! On Beck's radio show, the host talked to some forest manager, who was going to be cutting down trees for some hunter. "This is like Nirvana here," he said, "This is not only going to hack off all the environmentalists but all the PETA people as well." (Nobody give Glenn a sad by telling him that environmentalists are actually okay with cutting down trees and sustainable forest management, okay?)

Anyway, this presented Beck with a cognitive challenge. What would happen if he was forced to keep two ideas - chopping down trees and shooting deer - in his head at the same time? In short order came the answer. "I need some Barry White music!" Beck exclaimed, "This is almost full-fledged light some candles! This is eroticism!" And for a minute there, you got the feeling like an epic talk-radio jeans-creaming was about to unfold.

Unfortunately, when the forest manager told Beck that he was just cutting down tiny "junk" Aspen trees and not mighty oaks, it was clear that the news was a total bonerkiller.

I hear it happens to lots of guys, Glenn. Maybe next time, you should just try to imagine yourself straight up WRECKING that deer corpse!

[LISTEN.]

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Comments

[SEQUOIABISON]

The Neanderthal Man needs to go down the yellow brick road to the Wiz where he might find a much needed Heart and Brain.

[munsell10yr]

Was there a lumberjack in the Village People?

[sweetwilly]

isn't he due, along with cheney and limbaugh, for a heart attack soon?

[playsindirt]

You know how when you become an adult and you think back on some of the completely ridiculous, stupid things you said as a kid and you wince? Beck, Limbaugh, and Colter never experience that moment. It's called megalomaniacal self-importance.

[brummie]

A British satirist/comedian's take on American news media (and Fox, O'Reilly and Beck)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=2aEk864YrKw

[quiver366]

wow , he really does sound a bit drunk, especially around 1:26...

[JeanRR]

Not all Liberals support PETA, Glenn. I, for example, am a strong Liberal and a serious dog lover and I HATE PETA. PETA kills pets. Over 90% of the pets that PETA gets their hands on are killed. Both PETA and H$U$ are only in it for the money. And they keep that money for themselves--none goes to hard-working local shelters.
Can we please separate PETA from real Liberal causes?

[Nivekian]

This guy is so flaky, It wouldn't surprise me if he stopped taking his med's and held his staff hostage with an AK-47 while wearing a diaper. Not being mean, but the guy is several cards short of a full deck.

[yellowdoggie]

Cutting wood gives you a woody? Oh, Glenn. Have you seen a therapist about this?

[nettyspagetti]

Glen reminds me of a two year old child throwing a temper tantrum to get attention!

[ddb]

Is this guy the anti-Christ, or does he just play him on TV?

[chaunpop]

"Tree density is higher in this country than it used to be." Wow, Beck is living in a dreamworld. Think of how stupid that is to suggest. So New York city was just a parking lot prior to it being settled? Beck you are so moronic it is beyond comprehension!

[chaunpop]

Um, so let me get this straight, Glenn Beck is getting off on destroying trees on Earth Day... The ignorance is astounding, I'm at a loss for words really.

[drewziGNY]

Somehow I think the theme to his show should be Monty Python's "Lumberjack Song"

[adamsmith3]

I think a lot of these pundits drive home everyday telling themselves how they can't believe they actually said what they said and that so many people actually take them seriously, but then are consoled when they check their bank statement. Then again, maybe Beck is really that strange and Olbermann really is that melodramatic.