POLITICS
06/07/2009 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

GOP Promotes 'Keep Terrorists Out Of America Act' To Prevent Gitmo Closure

As reported by Sam Stein, the new and exciting idea from your House GOP is a bill called the Keep Terrorists Out Of America Act, which is SUBLIME. At long last, someone had the guts to stand up and express the visionary idea that terrorists should be kept out of America. This will finally keep terrorists out of America, unless they somehow start dealing in subterfuge, or something.

Actually, the bill is merely a backhanded attempt to prevent the closure of Guantanamo Bay, by turning the matter into an internecine war between state governments over who shall house the prisoners presently in detention at the GITMO facility. Greg Sargent summarizes thusly:

The bill attempts to place restrictions on transfers of Guantanamo Bay detainees to the United States, and has two primary features:

* It prohibits the Obama administration from transferring any Guandetainee to any state without approval from that state's legislature and governor

* Before transferring any detainee to any state, it requires the administration to notify Congress of the name of the detainee, and to stipulate to Congress that the release would not hamper continued prosecution of the detainee and wouldn't negatively impact the state's population.

The basic goal here is to unleash the power of "NIMBYism" -- or "Not In My Back Yard Ism" -- to push back on GITMO detainees being remanded to American prisons. Naturally, these prisons already house some truly dangerous people, so it's hard to see what game-changing situation the GITMO detainees bring to the table. Perhaps the House GOP is of the belief that the GITMO detainees have some sort of special magical powers that can only be unleashed in Leavenworth, Kansas, in accordance with their ancient prophesies? It's weird! Anyway, they'll really enjoy having cozied up to the NIMBY set once they start campaigning for building more nuclear power plants!

Megyn Kelly, of Fox News, was just talking about this matter on the air, and during the discussion, she seemed to make fun of Diane Feinstein for being unwilling to place the GITMO detainees at Alcatraz Island. I'm very puzzled by this! Is Kelly suggesting that we should be placing these prisoners in museums? Because that seems a little dotty! Maybe she's just suggesting that an enormous amount of taxpayer money be spent on retrofitting Alcatraz back to be being a prison? Who knows? She's a very confusing woman.

Anyway, remember how yesterday, I talked about Steve King, who played a dumb, little political game with the hate crimes legislation so that he could walk around suggesting that the Democrats were trying to protect pedophiles? Well, I'd hope King might inspire similar shenanigans with this bill. For example, if it's important to keep terrorists out of America, surely it's just as important that we keep, say, arsonists out of America, or serial killers who dress up as clowns out of America. So let's add these criminals to this bill! All right? Because why is the House GOP soft on arsonists? Why do they want America to be filled with serial killers who dress up as clowns?

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