David Feherty, CBS Golf Analyst, Unleashes Insane Nancy Pelosi Death Fantasy

Sweet sassy molassey! A column in the recent issue of D Magazine is freaking everybody out today, and with good reason! It contains the line:

From my own experience visiting the troops in the Middle East, I can tell you this, though: despite how the conflict has been portrayed by our glorious media, if you gave any U.S. soldier a gun with two bullets in it, and he found himself in an elevator with Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, and Osama bin Laden, there's a good chance that Nancy Pelosi would get shot twice, and Harry Reid and bin Laden would be strangled to death.

Here's the amazing part! The column was written by David Feherty, who is best known as CBS' golf analyst. Yes. You read that correctly. CBS' GOLF ANALYST. Talk about a good walk spoiled!

"Mr. Feherty's violent comments about Speaker Pelosi and Majority Leader Reid are disgusting," said Media Matters president Eric Burns. "Suggesting that our troops would attack the leaders of the very democracy they've sworn to sacrifice their lives for is an insult to their integrity, honor, and professionalism. CBS Sports should demand its golf analyst apologize to our soldiers."

OK, so: context! The line comes in a larger article about President George W. Bush and wife Laura moving to the Dallas suburb of Preston Hollow, and if I could sum up the theme of Feherty's piece in a sentence, it would be: "I, David Feherty, have an intense loathing of everyone who lives in this community and very soon, President Bush shall know of my pain and despair."

And now, a mea culpa! This article by Feherty is part of a larger collection of ruminations on Bush 43's return to Texas that have been available online for a long time, and which I mentioned back in the beginning of April. Somehow, and I don't remember how, Feherty's contribution to this effort escaped my attention. I sort of feel bad about this now, I can tell you!

Anyway, among the great works of Feherty that I haven't read is a book called An Idiot For All Seasons, so maybe he was encouraged to go for broke, throw every last stitch of intense, crazyfaced emotion he had in him at the page, and managed to strike gold with his insane Nancy Pelosi death fantasy. Here's a Brief and Lamentable Collection of Wackery that didn't quite rise to that level:

...I mean, what a nightmare of a time that was to be president of the United States! His two terms must have felt like the rest of the world had inserted the Washington Monument into him and it was his job to heave it out....

...I hate my neighbors because of their very proximity, or at least I hate the ones that want to talk to me who aren't doctors or gun dealers or who don't have their own airplanes....

...If I have to visit someone, he had better either be in jail or the hospital, and to be honest I'd prefer jail. I do golf commentary on CBS and sometimes star in television commercials wherein I jump on a trampoline while wearing a skirt....

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...No, when I make it home, I slam the door behind me and peek out the letterbox to see if I've been spotted by any of the bastards who live nearby....

...Even with their Secret Service entourage, the Bushes are going to be besieged by herds of North Dallas McMansion-dwellers, more brown-nosed and full of BS than any longhorn. Nouveaux riche and face-lifted old-monied fossils alike will descend upon them like ants to the honeypot every time they set foot outside their door....

Feherty also offers us a brief glimpse into his political views:

I believe in the death penalty, especially for pro-lifers, child molesters, those opposed to gay marriage, and for stupid dancing in the end zone. I believe in the abolition of estate taxes and the Pickens Plan. I'd lower the legal drinking age and raise the driving age to 18 nationwide, make Kinky Friedman governor of Texas, and make all schools, public and private, start earlier with one hour of physical exercise.

So there you have it. Now you know what Crash Davis' "I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days" monologue would have sounded like if it had been spoken by a thoroughly insane golf analyst, and not Kevin Costner.

UPDATE: CBS' Sports has responded, calling Feherty's column an "unacceptable attempt at humor."

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Comments

[IndolentFlourish]

That wasn't a very nice thing to say. I plan to boycott golf to send a message or something.

[kwinter]

This had nothing to do with GOLF!
It was in a collection of opinions in D (Dallas) Magazine, read by dozens of people.
Boycott D Magazine to "send a message or something".

[Project4NuBostonTeaParty]

A really bad call by the editor at "D".

[TovSquirrel]

It's called "projection" or "transference."

[amorpatriae]

Most liberals can be put down with simple arguments. You are mostly sheep, and the liberals of actual intelligence just herd you guys along. Both parties suck, Pelosi and Reid are both idiots.

[TheLearnedEnglishDog]

Wow that was really deep. Did Rush tell you that?

[TheLearnedEnglishDog]

You s0ck puppet p0sters need to be put down

[northstar11]

and your claim to fame is????

[solarian]

why does this pig still have a job

[jchflorida]

This guy is a recovering alcoholic ....... I think

[kwinter]

I have always enjoyed Feherty's commentary. This is just sad. I will no longer enjoy his analysis, because of the picture he's painted of himself, as a big jerk, in the D article.

The Pelosi & Reid "joke" was a tasteless, bad attempt at humor. But comparing it to the Limbaugh, Bauchman, Hannity, Malkin, Beck, and their ilk's vitriolic remarks, makes those of us on the left look a little silly. And trivializes the really dangerous things the Limbaugh type nuts say every day to huge numbers of people. This was, after all one of 5 opinions in a Dallas magazine article, and not views expressed on air while doing his job for CBS.
I was also surprised at Feherty's apparent sympathy to W (poor guiltless W), I thought he was smarter than that.

That being said ...
He didn't do anything treasonous, as was suggested.
This is not a reason to hate the game of golf.
This is not a reason to insult golfers, or their fans.
This is not a reason to go after the Irish.

Exercise some perspective, please!

[bulfinch]

Why would anyone "hate the game of golf" if a golf expert is an idiot? Why would anyone think that golf is a waste of space, fertilizer, seed, and water? We all love golf and the deep thinkers who play the game.

[javaz]

Classy guy.

[je7374]

If the 'leaders' of the Republican Party can go on the air and make fun of a guy who orders mustard on a burger...why can't they man up and say this was wrong?

[neesy08]

He's been fired, right?

[JFaye]

I understand satire, have an appreciation for the dark side of humor ... however, this is remarkably weird. Not funny at all, particularly coming from a golf analyst... Can't imagine any of the established political satirists who would speak with such extreme violence towards our elected leaders.

CBS must take a stand against such tirades from those who represent, particularly with a public voice, its Network. Could Jimmy the Greek get away with this, Don Imus ... No they did not!

This man is a time bomb ticking away ... who knows when he will totally explode and upon whom?

[cd789]

These comments should and likely will result in Feherty's termination from CBS. But while they were stupid and insensitive, I don't see them as criminal. The facts are that this was a hypothetical statement and was neither implying that he was going to act on it nor was he encouraging others to do so. Contrast this with other statements that were much worse -- Pat Robertson praying on air for the deaths of Supreme Court Justices, or the mob-like chants of "kill him" and "off with his head" during McCain/Palin rallies last year. While some of the rally statements were investigated, I don't believe there were any charges, but I'm certain Robertson was never prosecuted for his statements. Again, I'm not defending Feherty's comments. I'm only attempting to inject a sense of proportion into this discussion.

[kiwi777]

He should stick with Golf...and out of Politics

[yellowdoggie]

These sound like the insane rantings of someone who has fried his poor brain with alcohol and drugs. Best for all if he is ignored.

[SEQUOIABISON]

The first question I would ask Mr Feherty is; were you ever struck on the head with a golf ball?
Followed up with; why are you so violent toward women you disagree with?
Threatening murder against a politician who is third in line to the presidency, even if it were said jokingly, is not humorous.

[AERO]

As a retired Naval officer, I'm amazed at the wingnut fantasies that morons like this think the people who've committed their lives to serving and protecting this country would do.

[nichtviel]

Quit bragging that you were Naval officer. Do you see other people here saying "I'm a doctor so.." or "I'm a CEO so.." You had a job. You did a job. Leave it at that. Let your opinions stand on their merit.

[erinker]

Wow, that was snarky! Considering the article is about what military personnel would or would not do, I think the opinions of someone in the military are just a little more valid. Had this article been about a cooking show, I could see your point. But in this case, I think he is valid in stating his navy experience.

[AERO]

People like you love to project your fantasy opinions onto other groups. When somebody with the expertise of that field refutes what you say, you try to demean it. You and your fellow 25 percenters have no credibility and people won't be bullied into silence by you anymore.

And by the way, not to brag, but my 25 1/2 years of service and combat service experience says that I can tell my opinion in that frame of reference whenever I wish.