COMEDY
06/12/2009 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Colbert Takes On Credit Card Industry: "Being In A Financial Hole Is As American As Borrowing Apple Pie"

"Being in the financial hole is as American as borrowing apple pie," quoth Stephen Colbert making macabre fun of the credit card industry, our willingness to spend our way into trouble, the industry's monkey spun rule-randomizing wheel, and the terrifying fine print of their user agreements, which read, in part, "Should the borrower be found in default of payment more than 15 days we shall bear thee way to the Houses of All Lamentation Beyond all Darkness where thy flesh be devoured and thy shriveled mind be left naked to the lidless eye." See! Same as your cellular bill.

[WATCH.]

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Credit Check
colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full EpisodesPolitical HumorGay Marriage

Anyway, there being no "montage of pundits and politicians siding with the credit card industry," Colbert welcomed Demos' Tamara Draut, author of Strapped: Why America's 20- and 30-Somethings Can't Get Ahead. Draut discussed how the credit card companies are "built on a business model of gotcha tactics that are designed to keep people in debt at a very high cost," and utilizing their right to "change the terms of your account at any time for any reason," to cover their own end in this down economy. To which Colbert responded:

"If you don't like it, you don't have to get a credit card. All this talk about we have to protect people. It's just a business. You don't have to get a credit card unless you want to rent a car or buy a house or use the internet or a cell phone or rent a movie or have a credit rating."

Not discussed: how those horrible FreeCreditReport.com singers are the official house band at the Houses of all Lamentation Beyond all Darkness.

[WATCH]

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Credit Card Industry Regulation - Tamara Draut
colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full EpisodesPolitical HumorGay Marriage

[Would you like to follow me on Twitter? Because why not? Also, please send tips to tv@huffingtonpost.com -- learn more about our media monitoring project here.]