John Andrew Boehner (born November 17, 1949) is an American Republican politician, United States Representative from Ohio, tanorexia sufferer, House Minority Leader, Nancy Pelosi nemesis, and a dick.
In May 2009, weekly tracking polls indicated that Boehner remained the most unpopular politician in the United States, though it is unclear if this statistic factored in his favorability among elderly conservative women or the staff of Jamaica Me Tan in Cincinnati, Ohio.
Boehner spent most of his political career railing against corruption and scandal in Washington, though--ironically--it was a series of Washington scandals that directly resulted in the few professional successes Boehner's had, including his Congressional seat and House Majority leadership.
Undoubtedly eliciting countless giggles in high school Civics classrooms nationwide, the Congressman's surname is correctly pronounced "BAY-ner." Though--fittingly--its phonetic pronunciation is a colloquial term for an erection of the male reproductive organ.