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Bill O'Reilly: "The Left Sees White Men As The Problem" (VIDEO)

First Posted: 06/29/09 06:12 AM ET Updated: 05/25/11 02:25 PM ET

Oreilly Whitey Tape

As you have probably experienced for yourself, it's so hard for most white dudes to get a leg up in America, a nation that has historically both hated and feared Caucasians. This is why Joe The Plumber is such a folk hero, to the people. Before Joe, unemployed white dudes with no particular education or demonstrable skill set other than sort of aimlessly ambling around had zero future in in the United States. It was just like Kazakhstan for those people!

White dudes, they face barriers to entry everywhere they turn. And now, more than ever, it's starting to feel as if the rights of white dudes are in rapid decline. This has come into sharp relief during the recent focus on Barack Obama's appointment of Sonia Sotomayor to the Supreme Court.

TRUE FACTS: Did you know that even before Barack Obama and Sonia Sotomayor came along, white dudes only accounted for 106 of the 110 Supreme Court Justices and a mere ALL of the Presidents of the United States? All true! So, suck it, Nelson Mandela! I think that we white-dude Americans know a thing or two about apartheid! And also about cooking crystal meth!

Anyway, thank God for Bill O'Reilly -- a rare instance of a white dude with a prominent perch in the popular media. Last night, he stood up for afflicted Caucasian men everywhere and protested the way the "left sees white men as the problem," and that "[the left] believes putting women and minorities in power as the solution." O'Reilly hones right in on the problem, too: "With minority voters being able to swing elections now, gender and racial situations become extremely important." DAMN THESE PEOPLE AND THE WAY THEY KEEP EXERCISING THEIR "RIGHT" TO "VOTE" ON STUFF!

Anyway, maybe one day soon, white dudes in America will achieve some level of justice. FINGERS CROSSED!

[WATCH.]

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