PANIC! Missouri Congressman Warns Of Imminent Nuclear Threat To Seattle (And The Rest Of Your Scritti Politti)


First Posted: 06- 5-09 05:52 PM   |   Updated: 06- 5-09 09:05 PM

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Seattle Gonna Die

CORRECTION: The headline of this post originally said Akin was from Alabama. ARGH, he is from Missouri. I don't know why I said he was from Alabama. Thanks to Anne Clausen, Merry Leonard, and Judy Grim for being johnnies-on-the-spot with the correction, and mea maxima culpa for my idiotic Miss(ouri)-state-ment.

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If you cast your mind back to yesterday, on these pages, we made note of Supergenius Congressman Todd Akin, who doesn't understand why ANYONE would be opposed to climate change, because how else would the cold winter months give way to warm springs and summers. Come on! This stuff is academic! Well, people are going to start taking Akin a hell of a lot more seriously. Why? BECAUSE HOLY NUTS SEATTLE IS ABOUT TO BE NUKED BY NORTH KOREA!

In an email with the forboding title "What if..." Akin expounds at length:

Now more than ever we need to continue a robust investment in missile defense. Cutting or canceling missile defense programs in the face of growing threats from North Korea and other rogue regimes will weaken the national security of our country and increase the threats from these governments that menace the safety and security of our allies and our own shores.

The Missile Defense Agency budget proposed this year by the Obama Administration strips $1.4 billion and calls for canceling or cutting major programs such as the Airborne Laser, Multiple Kill Vehicle, and the installation of additional Ground-Based Interceptor missiles in Alaska.

But wait? What will restoring funding to these programs actually accomplish? And what "other rogue regimes" have nukes that will threaten us? And don't North Korea's missiles have the tendency to sort of not get out of the Sea of Japan? Non-proliferation expert Joe Cirincione told ThinkProgress:

If we thought that North Korea was about to launch a long-range missile with a nuclear warhead, the president should and could destroy the missile on the launch pad. The North's missiles are liquid-fueled, still relatively basic and take several days to transport to the launch pad, assemble and fuel. They are large, stationary, relatively easy targets for U.S. forces.


This "pre-boost phase" intercept" has always been my favorite form of missile defense. A commander would be a fool to wait until after an enemy had launched a missile to see of one of the anti-missile systems we deploy could intercept it. Tests indicated that the Aegis system deployed on Navy ships could not hit a Taepodong missile in its boost-phase, rising from North Korea. Nor could the Ground-Based Missile Defense System deployed in Alaska hit the missile in its mid-course phase if the North deployed even the simplest of counter-measures such as decoys, chaff or jammers.

The missile now crawling to the pad in North Korea does not pose a serious threat to the United States, as Secretary of Defense Robert Gates pointed out this weekend (and National Security Advisor Stephen Hadley concluded following a similar July 2006 test). There is no evidence that North Korea has or is close to having a nuclear warhead that could fit on a long-range missile. That would take more tests and more years to perfect. Nor do they yet have a working long-range missile. If the North tests again it will be only the fourth test of a long-range missile in 11 years. None have worked so far.

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That sounds pretty reasonable. Very reasonable. Okay. I'm calming down. Nerves are soothed. Heart rate returning to normal. Hey, what's this picture Akin sent with his email?

HOLY FRACK!! THEY'RE GOING TO DESTROY SEATTLE, BIRTHPLACE OF 'GRUNGE'!! PRESUMABLY BY CARRYING THE MISSILE TO SEATTLE AND DROPPING IT AND RUNNING AWAY VERY FASTY. OKAY, THAT DOES IT. THIS IS PLAUSIBLE. EVERYBODY HIDE UNDER YOUR DESK. THIS S#!T IS REAL! GO TIME!

Everyone's a Critic: Matt Yglesias finds Mark Kleiman enumerating the many people who responded negatively to Obama's speech in Cairo: "Hezbollah, Hamas, the Muslim Brotherhood, John Bolton, Hugh Hewitt, and the Republican Jewish Coalition, and John Boehner all disliked the President's speech." So, then...where's the downside, precisely?

For Dick Cheney Debunkery Completists: More more more from 1115.org's Sarabeth. A highlight: Remember, yesterday, how Liz Cheney claimed that "Once it became clear that the report [about Mohammed Atta] didn't hold up, [Dick Cheney] and others in the administration were out publicly saying that." Well, two years after that report didn't "hold up," guess what Dick Cheney was saying?

Rocky Mountain News on January 9, 2004:

CHENEY: On the separate issue, on the 9/11 question, we've never had confirmation one way or another. We did have reporting that was public, that came out shortly after the 9/11 attack, provided by the Czech government, suggesting there had been a meeting in Prague between Mohammed Atta, the lead hijacker, and a man named al-Ani (Ahmed Khalil Ibrahim Samir al-Ani), who was an Iraqi intelligence official in Prague, at the embassy there, in April of '01, prior to the 9/11 attacks. It has never been -- we've never been able to collect any more information on that. That was the one that possibly tied the two together to 9/11.

Black Box Reporting: Choire Sicha, of the Awl, has a great piece up that demonstrates what a terrible job newspapers traditionally do with airline mishaps and tragedies. Overdramatization, supposition, projection, and just plain terrible writing show up as culprits.

Look Who Is Awling Now: Oh, looky! Ana Marie Cox and I have put silly captions on photos from the White House Flickr pool, because that is what she and I do on weekends now that Battlestar Galactica is off the air.

[Would you like to follow me on Twitter? Because why not? Also, please send tips to tv@huffingtonpost.com -- learn more about our media monitoring project here.]

CORRECTION: The headline of this post originally said Akin was from Alabama. ARGH, he is from Missouri. I don't know why I said he was from Alabama. Thanks to Anne Clausen, Merry Leonard, and Judy ...
CORRECTION: The headline of this post originally said Akin was from Alabama. ARGH, he is from Missouri. I don't know why I said he was from Alabama. Thanks to Anne Clausen, Merry Leonard, and Judy ...
 
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- Bompa I'm a Fan of Bompa 7 fans permalink
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Repugnican­s...."They take great pride in their ignorance"­..........­..........­.......

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 05:15 PM on 06/08/2009
- Sirkll I'm a Fan of Sirkll 10 fans permalink
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Forget about nuking Seattle. Figure out a way to get it to snow again up here and you could pretty much wipe this city out. Two more days of snow up here last winter and they would have declared martial law. North Korea should be working on a weather changing machine.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 04:43 PM on 06/08/2009
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Oops! I meant "one word...Nuts!"

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 04:28 PM on 06/08/2009

Oh No's. Can Palin see N. Korea from Alaska? Maybe she'll protect us.

(better yet, can Palin differentiate between N. Korea, S. Korea, China, Japan & Russia, when she looks out her window?)

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 03:59 PM on 06/08/2009
- Cowboylove I'm a Fan of Cowboylove 42 fans permalink
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One can only hope.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 04:06 PM on 06/08/2009
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Pretty objective post there buddy. =P

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 05:42 PM on 06/08/2009

Why nooke it? The pyroclastic flow will destry Seattle soon.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 03:12 PM on 06/08/2009
- Mark701 I'm a Fan of Mark701 17 fans permalink
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What kind of comment would you expect from a member of a political party that is spiritually, emotionally, and intellectually bankrupt?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 02:49 PM on 06/08/2009
- alwqb I'm a Fan of alwqb 18 fans permalink
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The silliness used to end some of these defense programs is laughable. For too long we have spent billions on projects, weapons and aircraft that don't work. The whole missile defense system in Hawaii is a joke, none of it works. Gates and Obama are carefully deleting what we need and don't need any longer. Pouring more money into things that don't work is what the previous administration did and America voted against those policies.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:41 PM on 06/08/2009
- jerrypl I'm a Fan of jerrypl 48 fans permalink
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Just place Todd Akin in Seattle, evacuate the city, and tell him to hold the bulls-eye target sign over his head.

http://eye-on-washington.blogspot.com

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:06 PM on 06/08/2009
- FrTown I'm a Fan of FrTown 14 fans permalink
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Ring 1: "...fatality rate NEAR 100%"
Near? Are they assuming that the "leaders" have "nucular" bunkers?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:28 AM on 06/08/2009
- miles120 I'm a Fan of miles120 25 fans permalink
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Todd Akin is a real enigma - well educated and an adept politician, he has made repeated gaffes which are sincere and endearing to his constituency. This is a guy who annually introduces legislation that would prevent the Supreme Court from ruling on the "under God" phrase in the Pledge of Allegiance. And a couple of years ago, he compared the war in Iraq to the Mexican-American war for the independence of Texas, apparently not realizing that we were the aggressors in that war, too. He believes in religious tolerance as long as your a Christian. But let's remember that he has American values, which qualifies him as a patriot.

Unfortunately, he is also in one of the safest districts in the country. So everyone needs to consider him a great source of entertainment, like those of us in surrounding districts have learned to do.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:08 AM on 06/08/2009
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As part of his constituency, I find his comments neither sincere nor endearing. I have not followed polling data since the '08 election, but I believe that the southern end of his district, where I reside, is becoming more progressive. Watch for a gerrymander here after the '10 census.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:54 PM on 06/08/2009
- miles120 I'm a Fan of miles120 25 fans permalink
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oldschoollib,

It is with great relief that I can say I will no longer be a Missourian by 2010, but I wish you luck with your efforts to unseat Mr. Akin and I'll watch for the gerrymander with great interest.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:12 PM on 06/08/2009

How many aerospace factories that are working on "star wars" components are in Missouri?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:57 AM on 06/08/2009
- KHAAANNN I'm a Fan of KHAAANNN 34 fans permalink

Boeing Corp, Northrup Grumman, etc.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 02:53 PM on 06/08/2009
- KarateKid I'm a Fan of KarateKid 261 fans permalink
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I'd be more worried about Mt. Rainier erupting, since that would obliterate most of the Puget Sound.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 07:36 AM on 06/08/2009

Washington is already doomed by nuclear attack. Some estimates have the radiation plume from the Hanford site reaching the Columbia in the very near future.

Some 53 million gallons of highly radioactive waste are poised to flood into the river and then the Pacific.

State and Federal 'official' continue to argue and litigate while the clock ticks on. So the eminent Congressman is correct. He just missed on who was attacking...

...it's us who are poised to destroy Washington State and much of the Pacific Ocean.

Not them nasty North Koreans.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 03:09 AM on 06/08/2009
- LeeCalif I'm a Fan of LeeCalif 64 fans permalink

But those North Korean missiles tend to be a bit on the wildly inaccurate side, ya know.

I think the rocket(s) will overshoot Seattle and, unfortunately, obliterate Missouri.

...... sigh ........

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:09 AM on 06/08/2009
- Tulka2 I'm a Fan of Tulka2 222 fans permalink
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Well... more to the point, the birthplace of Jimi Hendrix, okay?

This is not news to anyone who lives in the Pacific Northwest. We have done the math. We have wondered to ourselves if D.C. were sitting where Seattle... or Tacoma... or Vancouver sit, if there might not be a little more concern about what the crazy man in North Korea is up to. But... it never rises to the level of conversation out in public.

If you actually lived here, you would know that no state has changed more in the last thirty years than has Washington state. If you want to care about something here...? Care that your National Forests are being cut down as fast as is possible before you notice.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 04:23 PM on 06/07/2009
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