PANIC! Missouri Congressman Warns Of Imminent Nuclear Threat To Seattle (And The Rest Of Your Scritti Politti)


First Posted: 06- 5-09 05:52 PM   |   Updated: 06- 5-09 09:05 PM

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Seattle Gonna Die

CORRECTION: The headline of this post originally said Akin was from Alabama. ARGH, he is from Missouri. I don't know why I said he was from Alabama. Thanks to Anne Clausen, Merry Leonard, and Judy Grim for being johnnies-on-the-spot with the correction, and mea maxima culpa for my idiotic Miss(ouri)-state-ment.

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If you cast your mind back to yesterday, on these pages, we made note of Supergenius Congressman Todd Akin, who doesn't understand why ANYONE would be opposed to climate change, because how else would the cold winter months give way to warm springs and summers. Come on! This stuff is academic! Well, people are going to start taking Akin a hell of a lot more seriously. Why? BECAUSE HOLY NUTS SEATTLE IS ABOUT TO BE NUKED BY NORTH KOREA!

In an email with the forboding title "What if..." Akin expounds at length:

Now more than ever we need to continue a robust investment in missile defense. Cutting or canceling missile defense programs in the face of growing threats from North Korea and other rogue regimes will weaken the national security of our country and increase the threats from these governments that menace the safety and security of our allies and our own shores.

The Missile Defense Agency budget proposed this year by the Obama Administration strips $1.4 billion and calls for canceling or cutting major programs such as the Airborne Laser, Multiple Kill Vehicle, and the installation of additional Ground-Based Interceptor missiles in Alaska.

But wait? What will restoring funding to these programs actually accomplish? And what "other rogue regimes" have nukes that will threaten us? And don't North Korea's missiles have the tendency to sort of not get out of the Sea of Japan? Non-proliferation expert Joe Cirincione told ThinkProgress:

If we thought that North Korea was about to launch a long-range missile with a nuclear warhead, the president should and could destroy the missile on the launch pad. The North's missiles are liquid-fueled, still relatively basic and take several days to transport to the launch pad, assemble and fuel. They are large, stationary, relatively easy targets for U.S. forces.


This "pre-boost phase" intercept" has always been my favorite form of missile defense. A commander would be a fool to wait until after an enemy had launched a missile to see of one of the anti-missile systems we deploy could intercept it. Tests indicated that the Aegis system deployed on Navy ships could not hit a Taepodong missile in its boost-phase, rising from North Korea. Nor could the Ground-Based Missile Defense System deployed in Alaska hit the missile in its mid-course phase if the North deployed even the simplest of counter-measures such as decoys, chaff or jammers.

The missile now crawling to the pad in North Korea does not pose a serious threat to the United States, as Secretary of Defense Robert Gates pointed out this weekend (and National Security Advisor Stephen Hadley concluded following a similar July 2006 test). There is no evidence that North Korea has or is close to having a nuclear warhead that could fit on a long-range missile. That would take more tests and more years to perfect. Nor do they yet have a working long-range missile. If the North tests again it will be only the fourth test of a long-range missile in 11 years. None have worked so far.

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That sounds pretty reasonable. Very reasonable. Okay. I'm calming down. Nerves are soothed. Heart rate returning to normal. Hey, what's this picture Akin sent with his email?

HOLY FRACK!! THEY'RE GOING TO DESTROY SEATTLE, BIRTHPLACE OF 'GRUNGE'!! PRESUMABLY BY CARRYING THE MISSILE TO SEATTLE AND DROPPING IT AND RUNNING AWAY VERY FASTY. OKAY, THAT DOES IT. THIS IS PLAUSIBLE. EVERYBODY HIDE UNDER YOUR DESK. THIS S#!T IS REAL! GO TIME!

Everyone's a Critic: Matt Yglesias finds Mark Kleiman enumerating the many people who responded negatively to Obama's speech in Cairo: "Hezbollah, Hamas, the Muslim Brotherhood, John Bolton, Hugh Hewitt, and the Republican Jewish Coalition, and John Boehner all disliked the President's speech." So, then...where's the downside, precisely?

For Dick Cheney Debunkery Completists: More more more from 1115.org's Sarabeth. A highlight: Remember, yesterday, how Liz Cheney claimed that "Once it became clear that the report [about Mohammed Atta] didn't hold up, [Dick Cheney] and others in the administration were out publicly saying that." Well, two years after that report didn't "hold up," guess what Dick Cheney was saying?

Rocky Mountain News on January 9, 2004:

CHENEY: On the separate issue, on the 9/11 question, we've never had confirmation one way or another. We did have reporting that was public, that came out shortly after the 9/11 attack, provided by the Czech government, suggesting there had been a meeting in Prague between Mohammed Atta, the lead hijacker, and a man named al-Ani (Ahmed Khalil Ibrahim Samir al-Ani), who was an Iraqi intelligence official in Prague, at the embassy there, in April of '01, prior to the 9/11 attacks. It has never been -- we've never been able to collect any more information on that. That was the one that possibly tied the two together to 9/11.

Black Box Reporting: Choire Sicha, of the Awl, has a great piece up that demonstrates what a terrible job newspapers traditionally do with airline mishaps and tragedies. Overdramatization, supposition, projection, and just plain terrible writing show up as culprits.

Look Who Is Awling Now: Oh, looky! Ana Marie Cox and I have put silly captions on photos from the White House Flickr pool, because that is what she and I do on weekends now that Battlestar Galactica is off the air.

[Would you like to follow me on Twitter? Because why not? Also, please send tips to tv@huffingtonpost.com -- learn more about our media monitoring project here.]

CORRECTION: The headline of this post originally said Akin was from Alabama. ARGH, he is from Missouri. I don't know why I said he was from Alabama. Thanks to Anne Clausen, Merry Leonard, and Judy ...
CORRECTION: The headline of this post originally said Akin was from Alabama. ARGH, he is from Missouri. I don't know why I said he was from Alabama. Thanks to Anne Clausen, Merry Leonard, and Judy ...
 
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- badfluffy I'm a Fan of badfluffy 5 fans permalink

stocking up on Dicks deluxes, Ivars fish and chips, pizza from Pagliacci, gyros from Kebab and one last show at the Harvard Exit.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 03:08 PM on 06/06/2009
- macbabe I'm a Fan of macbabe 105 fans permalink
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I am with you!!!!!! ... putint shelves in my b o m b shelter and on it... LOL

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 03:37 PM on 06/06/2009
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If you are in Bellevue, stop by Dixies too. And whatever you do, DON'T MESS WITH THE MAN! Worse than any damage an atom bomb could cause!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 07:31 PM on 06/06/2009
- Copeword I'm a Fan of Copeword 5 fans permalink
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No! Don't hit Seattle, it's a blue city. Hit Spokane instead.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 03:00 PM on 06/06/2009

Tell that congressman to take off his tinfoil cap. His signals are getting crossed. It's actually Missouri that's about to be attacked by militiamen.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 02:28 PM on 06/06/2009
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Does ANYONE actually think N. Korea would attack the U.S.?

Seriously?

Kimmy might be insane (or not, cuz God knows who is really in charge there) but for anyone to think N. Korea would launch a missile armed with a nuke to Seattle or wherever then you need a serious reality check.

Does anyone thing there would be no retaliation?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 02:20 PM on 06/06/2009
- WasteNJ I'm a Fan of WasteNJ 28 fans permalink
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It's too much hype. Not only would they need reliable Nuke technology, but a reliable Intercontinental Ballistic Missile. Not some fake space rocket that just goes up and comes down in the ocean. Rockets aren't guided like a missile, these guys are back in the late 50's.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 03:49 PM on 06/06/2009
- andyg I'm a Fan of andyg 5 fans permalink

Maybe since he got 200 nukes he do quite a bit of damage, and their be nobody left to retaliate.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 04:39 PM on 06/06/2009

Well righty right you are ! 200 nukes in N. Korea you say? How about 6-10 ? Hello REALITY! Nobody left to retaliate? Yeah all those nuclear subs we keep under all of the world's oceans, loaded with nukes, ready to go, and not even the Russians or Chinese can find them- They'd never be able to launch a retaliatory strike becasue?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 05:25 PM on 06/06/2009
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I'm looking at the silly map... on Eastlake Avenue North just past Denny Way? If the Janggun-nim has half a brain he'd look for a better place to nuke, such as Bremerton Navy Base, Fort Lewis-McChord AFB, or Boeing's Paine Field. Unless of course he hates them houseboat dwelling, kayak-rowing, Starbucks-drinking people in Lake Union and perhaps those Imperialist Aggressors who dwell in the neighboring Socialist People's Republic of Fremont (only the hegemonic imperialist warmongers would call themselves "Center of the Universe"!!!!).

Wait... DPRK declares war on the Socialist People's Republic of Fremont??? Or is this "merely" an act of terror to destroy a well beloved national symbol: The Troll? While he's at it, the Space Needle, the Seattle Monorail and the KeyArena would be gone.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:57 PM on 06/06/2009
- wilray I'm a Fan of wilray 72 fans permalink
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You forgot the Soviet of Seattle's statue of Lenin if Fremont.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Statue_of_Lenin_(Seattle)

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 07:39 PM on 06/06/2009
- Fernando I'm a Fan of Fernando 29 fans permalink
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My God, that's not only my city but the very center is my neighborhood!

I'm more concerned about people wearing their seatbelts and eating better, healthier food than this nonsense about North Korea. A) NK missiles can't even get half way through Hawaii and B) because NK knows very well the ensuing response over attacking a US city, let alone with a nuclear weapon. Oh congressman.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:43 PM on 06/06/2009
- badfluffy I'm a Fan of badfluffy 5 fans permalink

howdy neighbor!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 03:11 PM on 06/06/2009
- kroltan I'm a Fan of kroltan 5 fans permalink
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Don't forget about Portland, OR! We don't want to be left off the "get blowed up real good" list!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:35 PM on 06/06/2009
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Don't worry..the­re's plenty of room for all of us on the West Coast to get blowed up real good. That's the dream of the Rethugs anyway.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:41 PM on 06/06/2009
- MamaBird62 I'm a Fan of MamaBird62 86 fans permalink

Yep, pretty sure they want the left coast to disappear
Isn't that congressman helping the N Koreans spread their propaganda?
They must love him.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 02:54 PM on 06/06/2009
- lagumbo I'm a Fan of lagumbo 40 fans permalink

It is so laughable how PRESIDENT OBAMA has these creeps going insane. It has nothing about budgets, or missils or anything about the safety of our country. It is about the blackman in the white house, and the soon to be hispanic judge. You go PRES. O, keep these fools in the insanity state. Their is not a thing they can do, nothing. I m loving every minute of this. I wait everyday for a good laugh from the GOP, and their talking heads.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:35 PM on 06/06/2009
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It's the last stand on white man's land :-)

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:40 PM on 06/06/2009

I'm an Oregonian temporarily hanging out in Metairie, LA (a huge, unincorporated suburb of New Orleans) and I can tell you that there are quite a few diehard suthin' boys down here who are very vocal about their dislike (read hate) of our new President. I think that in truth they are scared s**tless.

Been here about eight months and can't wait to get back home to the hills, mtns. and good ol' gentle rain. Man oh man, is it ever FLAT down here!!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 07:22 PM on 06/06/2009
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Helloo HP!! He's from Missouri!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:31 PM on 06/06/2009
- katmeyster I'm a Fan of katmeyster 29 fans permalink
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Just make sure that the missile defense system has parts manufactured in every one of our magnificent 50 states, and then our esteemed Members of Congress will have to vote for it. Luv Ya Jason.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:28 PM on 06/06/2009
- bluguy8 I'm a Fan of bluguy8 22 fans permalink

isn't Alaska closer.. Duck sarah. their coming for ya

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:47 PM on 06/06/2009
- Copeword I'm a Fan of Copeword 5 fans permalink
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Or Hawaii?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 02:57 PM on 06/06/2009
- SpaceCadet I'm a Fan of SpaceCadet 13 fans permalink

The headline of this post originally said Akin was from Alabama. ARGH, he is from Missouri. I don't know why I said he was from Alabama.
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You should have remembered that not all stupid Republicans come from the deep South. Just most of them.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:38 PM on 06/06/2009
- dave1111 I'm a Fan of dave1111 41 fans permalink

Hasn't 9/1-1 taught us to dismiss this missile defense non sense?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:36 PM on 06/06/2009
- dave1111 I'm a Fan of dave1111 41 fans permalink

Hasn't 9/11 taught us to dismiss this missile defense non sense?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:36 PM on 06/06/2009
- Drumbeato I'm a Fan of Drumbeato 9 fans permalink
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Yeah, except North Korea can barely get their missile's to clear the Sea of Japan, let alone Seattle.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:33 PM on 06/06/2009
- dave1111 I'm a Fan of dave1111 41 fans permalink

If North Korea wanted to nuke Seattle, they would send a commercial container ship into the harbor, only 3% of them are inspected, and it would be much less traceable.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:39 PM on 06/06/2009
- dave1111 I'm a Fan of dave1111 41 fans permalink

f North Korea wanted to n.u.k.e Seattle, they would send a commercial container ship into the harbor, only 3% of them are inspected, and it would be much less traceable.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:40 PM on 06/06/2009
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