Mitt Romney Announces Essay Contest, Which Will Be A "Game Changer" (VIDEO)

What's this thing, on the YouTubes? From Wonkette comes Mitt Romney, who, while he "doesn't need to tell us that our nation faces a new generation of challenges," is SO TOTALLY going to tell us that anyway! His solution? Straight from the ovens at the GOP headquarters at Pie-Tanza: ESSAY CONTEST. What a frabjous idea that is, spun right from his robot mind!

Here's the dilly. Radical jihadists want to destroy you. All of you! Especially you. And up until now, what have YOU been able to do about it? Well now, you can finally get all pro-active up in this piece by straight up writin' some essays full of bromides!

ROMNEY: Here's what I'm asking you to do. Try answering this question: What does a free and strong America mean to me? And do it in two hundred and fifty words or less.

The person with the best answer will apparently win an "all expenses paid trip for two to Boston," to sit in his fancy-pants elite seats for a Boston Red Sox game, and then maybe you'll get to do yard work on one of Mitt's "sanctuary mansions" or something. No promises! Oh, and there's a fifty dollar entry fee, which will help Mitt Romney run for President.

Anyway, if you want to win this thing for sure, just make sure your 250-word essay contains the words, "Tax cuts!" written 125 times, and that the essay is titled Microtrends.

WATCH:

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Comments

[Tundrapat]

Free and Strong America

Let me first say, God bless our great white Christian (excluding Catholics) nation. What does ‘free and strong America’ mean? Well, ‘strong’ means not weak. And ‘free’ means… not unfree. So, ‘free and strong’ means not weak, with liberty and justice for all, under God.

Now, what does ‘America’ mean?

America means, to me, lots, because we are blessed with so much, and because I can see Russia from my house, and so, you know, and God bless us all (or at least the caucasians among us). On September 11, Muslim terrorists from the country of Islam, wanted to take away our God-given right as Americans to rule the planet and have brown people send us oil in return for bibles.

America means a place where any old regular Joe can do what he wants, and buy a house, and a gun, and get a job with Fox News. And God bless Rupert Murdoch! And so, when some fascist (I like the way that word sounds, is it Italian?) dictator like Comrade Obama wants to take away our guns and cars and Fox News, and we all rise up because he’s not part of the ‘real America’, which is the part that the terrorist Muslims and abortion clinic bombers would never want to bomb, and that’s why.

That’s why I believe in a free and strong America, and I’ll work to make that happen in 2012 when the next beauty contest starts.

-Sarah Palin

[fedupinfla]

You betcha!!!

[Brookyln35street]

An America without Mitt Romney leadership.

[ritenow]

They have no ideas so now he's trying to tap the public for some and probably in search of his "Joe the Plumber" type spokesperson.

Whatever!

[springsm]

No he is competing with Obama's ability to attract the younger set through technology. Mittens will never get there.

[clearlythinking]

Maybe he'll provide the transportation too. He can strap you to the top of his car and drive you there, like he did to his dog. I love the $50 entry fee. What a business man!

[Lovelydaze]

What a dork!

Is he a Professor in Creative Writing or a game show host? Give me a break! FAIL!

[factotem]

What a schoolmarm. And he's going to award whoever submits the whiny GOP platform.

[MisterHands]

I might have missed it in this article-- to enter the essay, you must donate $50 to Mittens PAC.

[ericmiami]

A free and strong America means my five sons doing Mormon missions. You didn't think they should have served in the military, did you? That's for the ordinary people.

[chriss0114]

his sons' service to their country was working on his campaign

wasn't that enough?

the sacrifice! they should all get freedom medals and have a life of leisure! maybe get to be a Lt. Gov of a state or something like that as a reward for their great service to America

[ericmiami]

Another essay subject could be, "Why Mitt will be a God on his own planet." Why lesser Mormons and gentiles (us) will be his subjects. Magic underwear. What a concept, Mitt.

[WoodyGrant]

What does a strong America mean to me? A country where people who run for President are smarter and with better values than Mitt Romney.

[rightsize2005]

Look, this essay is for one reason only; to steal people's material and try to make political talking points with it. and since they have none of their own (atleast none that works), this essay contest should be a gold mine for them.

Problem is, if your party shuns education and proper health care for its constituents, then that diminishes their ability to be thoughtful and intellectually capable, so good luck there kitchen mitten.

[tangelan]

What's the $50 for again? I would love to see their faces when they read these essays. They'll get an up close and personal look at their base.

[larry278]

What happens if few choose to enter the contest Mitt is touting, or the 1st & most other prizes goes to those given to sophistry, or plagarism, or cant? Don't be surprised if the Ms's Brown, Huffington & other progressives sponsor a rival contest which will cut the ground from under the GOP, Mr Romney & others of that persuasion & their ilk. Publishing is a most brutal business. Some say that the Ms's Huffington & Brown are more than a match for Mr Murdoch in the publishing business.
Mr Romney, if somebody says, "Mitt, get.", take their advice; you have a lot to lose.
Many hope that you will stay in the lime light of politics; they want everybody to see you take yet another pratt fall. It could be entertaining, maybe enlightening.

[idisVA]

Topic of the essay : How to win the White House with no minorities, women, young men and women of all colors and no gays and no white males under the age of 50.

[DavidClaiborne]

Chalk up another winning strategy for Mittens "2%" Romney!