Mitt Romney Announces Essay Contest, Which Will Be A "Game Changer" (VIDEO)

What's this thing, on the YouTubes? From Wonkette comes Mitt Romney, who, while he "doesn't need to tell us that our nation faces a new generation of challenges," is SO TOTALLY going to tell us that anyway! His solution? Straight from the ovens at the GOP headquarters at Pie-Tanza: ESSAY CONTEST. What a frabjous idea that is, spun right from his robot mind!

Here's the dilly. Radical jihadists want to destroy you. All of you! Especially you. And up until now, what have YOU been able to do about it? Well now, you can finally get all pro-active up in this piece by straight up writin' some essays full of bromides!

ROMNEY: Here's what I'm asking you to do. Try answering this question: What does a free and strong America mean to me? And do it in two hundred and fifty words or less.

The person with the best answer will apparently win an "all expenses paid trip for two to Boston," to sit in his fancy-pants elite seats for a Boston Red Sox game, and then maybe you'll get to do yard work on one of Mitt's "sanctuary mansions" or something. No promises! Oh, and there's a fifty dollar entry fee, which will help Mitt Romney run for President.

Anyway, if you want to win this thing for sure, just make sure your 250-word essay contains the words, "Tax cuts!" written 125 times, and that the essay is titled Microtrends.

WATCH:

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Comments

[DeBartolo]

Mitt, when are you going to face the truth? Your a MORMAN...a­nd James Dobson and the baptist will NEVER, EVER, EVER let you run on a GOP national ticket!

[dave1111]

Who knows? By 2012 Mormans could be the majority in the party.

[Tom Joad]

...they breed fast, but not that fast...

[VOTER]

I think he is preparing the way for Jeb Bush with Mittens as VP.

Isn't this essay contest the result from their VA pizza meeting ?

[judesuper]

YAWN

[MathIsTruth]

The flaw in his plan is that no conservative wants a trip to Boston where they'd have to go to a public sports event surrounded by liberals and married gay people.

[annie g]

LOL It is sad to say but probably true.

[uinsane]

conservative do not like to travel outside their caves so that's the other flow of his plan.

[annie g]

Gee I wonder why Romney didn't ask for this essay when Bush/Cheney was in power. Maybe if Romney and the rest of the Republican Party started listening to the American people instead of trying to destroy Obama, saying no to everything, calling names, lying, using hate and fearmongering, they would know what America means to us. So if you really want to know, Mr. Romney what America means to us all you have to do is start using a little known word rarely used by your side of the aisle, it is called listening, Try it sometime you might even learn something.

Knowing how the Right operates they are probably looking for another marketing tool to replace Joe the Plumber.

[Rog49Thomas]

If folks are writing submissions in crayon, is it really proper to call it an essay?

[jasongrundy]

lol

[gconners]

I'm starting an essay contest, too, and it's only $25! Tell me in 50 words or less why Mitt Romney should never, ever be President of The United States. The winner gets to go to a NY Yankees game with Sarah Palin and David Letterman. P.O. Box info to follow.

[jetphixer]

because he has majic undies and can get the space ship here to rescue us. Skip the tickets but thanks for the offer.

[swan1]

Mit, Mit, Mitt even for you this is strange.

[lucite]

And Fox is asking if Obama still smokes weed? Oye Vey

[ohiodem250]

Ever see the part in Thank You For Smoking when Nick Naylor is talking to his son about the essay he was tasked to write? Everything Nick said in response to that essay should be said here.

[Beckinspate]

I always wanted to be a speechwriter for a Ken doll!

[greatlardini]

Willllllll­lllllllard­dddddd!!!!­!!!!!!!

[dillydawg]

Romny needs an intervention.

[jasongrundy]

I'm gonna RUN this on continuous loop...Thi­s is funnier than "The Hang-Over". I would love to know, how many Repubs fell for this

[TremoluxMan]

Romney = Lame X 1,000,000

[rextrek]

Mitts gonna run again? Ahh so his 5 son's (1 who looks gay ie: gay-face) will be supporting the troops again by supporting thier dad's run for President?