JENNY SANFORD STATEMENT: Wife Says She Told Him To Leave "To Maintain My Dignity"

South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford's wife, Jenny, issued a statement in which she says that she told him to leave their home two weeks ago "to maintain my dignity, self-respect and my basic sense of right and wrong."

Read the statement:

I would like to start by saying I love my husband and I believe I have put forth every effort possible to be the best wife I can be during our almost twenty years of marriage. As well, for the last fifteen years my husband has been fully engaged in public service to the citizens and taxpayers of this state and I have faithfully supported him in those efforts to the best of my ability. I have been and remain proud of his accomplishments and his service to this state.

I personally believe that the greatest legacy I will leave behind in this world is not the job I held on Wall Street, or the campaigns I managed for Mark, or the work I have done as First Lady or even the philanthropic activities in which I have been routinely engaged. Instead, the greatest legacy I will leave in this world is the character of the children I, or we, leave behind. It is for that reason that I deeply regret the recent actions of my husband Mark, and their potential damage to our children.

I believe wholeheartedly in the sanctity, dignity and importance of the institution of marriage. I believe that has been consistently reflected in my actions. When I found out about my husband's infidelity I worked immediately to first seek reconciliation through forgiveness, and then to work diligently to repair our marriage. We reached a point where I felt it was important to look my sons in the eyes and maintain my dignity, self-respect, and my basic sense of right and wrong. I therefore asked my husband to leave two weeks ago.

This trial separation was agreed to with the goal of ultimately strengthening our marriage. During this short separation it was agreed that Mark would not contact us. I kept this separation quiet out of respect of his public office and reputation, and in hopes of keeping our children from just this type of public exposure. Because of this separation, I did not know where he was in the past week.

I believe enduring love is primarily a commitment and an act of will, and for a marriage to be successful, that commitment must be reciprocal. I believe Mark has earned a chance to resurrect our marriage.

Psalm 127 states that sons are a gift from the Lord and children a reward from Him. I will continue to pour my energy into raising our sons to be honorable young men. I remain willing to forgive Mark completely for his indiscretions and to welcome him back, in time, if he continues to work toward reconciliation with a true spirit of humility and repentance.

This is a very painful time for us and I would humbly request now that members of the media respect the privacy of my boys and me as we struggle together to continue on with our lives and as I seek the wisdom of Solomon, the strength and patience of Job and the grace of God in helping to heal my family.

Comments

[duze]

Another one bites the dust. It's time for America to grow up. The natural realistic scheme of things are that for the vast majority of men fidelity is almost impossible. Their not built the same way women are. Society doesn't hold them to the same rule that governs women lives and approach to life.
In ancient civilations, as well as modern day. adultery is acceptable. (There have been many tearful confessions that faded with time, resulting in nothing more than back room laughs, regarding who did it better.) It's part of the culture, policy and historical reference since the beginning of time. America has yet to catch up with a modus operenda that's perfectly natural and perfectly accepted in other parts of the world.. Yet, America refuses to accept the inevitable, as things seem to be going. More and more marriges are falling apart, or staying together for the sake of children, money, position, or social acceptance, by like minded individuals who choose to live in quiet desperation to please an antiquated idea of morality. Marriage is tough and taking on the rule of law regarding standards that test a persons natural instincts as well as moral ineptness is a critical mistake. This concept has all but ruined society and taken the stability out of families that chose to live by the rule. It simply doesn't work, if it did many people (especially women) would drink less, self medicate less, breakdown less, and seek less therapy.

[thepoliticalcat]

I could agree with you if you'd only admit that the same is true for the vast majority of women too. Look up the stats. Approximately 40-50 per cent of women admit to cheating. These days, more and more women are experimenting with different ways of being, but they are brutally indoctrinated by a society which on the one hand views men's polyamorous ways as mere pecadillos but punishes women who mess around. Also men want to be polyamorous and jealous of their spouses at the same time. That doesn't work.

[hulagirrrl]

Most women are smart enough not to get caught... LOL

[rejoiceinit]

Ha, Ha...nice try. America does need to grow up, because too many of us (women too) would don't really think about responsibilities of love, let alone marriage and we would rather just move on to someone else in this microwave culture of ours. When you make a promise or committment to some one--marriage or not--realize if you are morally capable of fulfilling that promise before jumping into it. Wa, wa, the moral values about marriage are too difficult to really sustain, let's just scrap the whole thing and make it fit what we feel is "do-able" for now. What a joke! Isn't that what Bush said about the Geneva Conventions?

Marriage isn't meant to be easy, it's meant to be rewarding. People just don't marry for the right reasons, and if they do, one or the other or both, would rather take the easy way out.

[JoandeV]

For years I've been seeing the debate about marriage. One advocates scrapping marriage in light of the realization that we are not evolutionarily designed for monogamy. One repeats the mantra that marriage is hard work and we've got to make a commitment to stay in it.

Instead of derisively criticizing people who make mistakes in judgment either about themselves or about their intended spouse, let us recognize that most people never have this level of awareness. This is especially true when they are young, but it is often true at every stage of life. If it is so difficult to determine "if you are morally capable of fulfilling that promise (commitment to marriage), then we are forced to reconsider the wisdom of the institution in the first place....or continue to see devastating divorces.

[duze]

The letter was fine, but it displayed more than an explanation of why and how she will react to her Hillary Clinton moment. This lady is savy at best. She's clearing the way for HER move, not his. If Mark comes back, he'll be her wipping post forever. If he decides to grow his hair, stay on the island and smoke weed the rest of his life she still stands on the dignity she expressed in the letter. She's opened all the doors for her next move and he better decide to walk through them with her or little miss polite will become something he never knew he had.

[thepoliticalcat]

She's going to make sure the rest of his life is a fricking misery. If he had any sense, he'd run for Argentina.

[madisonhack]

Argentina doesn't have an extradition agreement with the U.S., does it?

[rwilsonxx]

What's all this Psalm127 stuff?
Where are Republican values ?
And Mark Sanford was refusing federal funds 'out of principle'.

When is this Republican and Evangelical Christian hypocrisy going to stop?

[thepoliticalcat]

NEVAH! Get used to it!

[brklynivn]

Oh just blame it on gay marriage.

[thepoliticalcat]

That's IT! I knew there was an explanation. All those gay, gay GAYs just gaymarrying all ovah the place jammed his frequencies! He knew he had to find a straight use for his peener right quick or he might have succumbed to the temptation, lawd!

[BIG JOHN]

TWO SONGS COME TO MIND. HIT THE ROAD JACK AND IF YOU CAN'T BE WITH THE ONE YOU LOVE, LOVE THE ONE YOUR WITH.

[ponderingmuch]

The best revenge: issue a statement supporting full public health insurance for all.

I mean this is the guy who even wanted to exclude women with breast cancer.

[duze]

If this hypocrite excludes anything it won't be women.

[Musiker]

Gawd! How tedious! She should just stay busy stomping on Palmetto bugs on Sullivan's Island! Sheeeeeesh!

[StellaRay]

You're lack of empathy makes me wonder what woman did you wrong. Or what man. You have managed to be both unkind and contribute nothing to the conversation.

[thepoliticalcat]

There's no denying that her statement is tedious. Ad hominem attacks are unnecessary. Moreover, the entire statement reeks of a certain pious, martyr-like stance, the wounded and aggrieved wife posture interlarded with some level of promise of lifelong misery if her husband dutifully "continues to work towards reconciliation with a spirit of true humility and repentance." Sheesh, that's cold. Better to say nothing at all than issue such conditions. OTOH, he did bring it upon himself.

[Ellen ODonohue]

Jenny,
Thought you were pretty intelligent and a cut above the rest until the part where you said he had earned a chance..... what?
He what? ok he's all your'n

[donia1970]

Ellen, I didn't understand that remark either. How could he have earned a chance after gallivanting for a week in Argentina?

[StellaRay]

Ellen and donia,

I'm maybe a bit envious over your black and white view of the world. I think I would probably have less confusion and question in my life if I didn't see all the shades of gray that I do.

Still, I just can't go along with Ellen's comment that Jenny's reaction right now is a question of her "intelligence" or her duty to remain "a cut above the rest." I see her comment as a gutsy, self respecting road map of how she sees the things that are.

And I LOVE the fact that she didn't put herself out there today as just one more wronged doe eyed wife standing by her man.

But let me be clear that we are discussing the personal side of the Sanfords, and that as a governor I think he was a loser long before he got caught cheating.

[funnyguy]

Aside from the biblical references, this is a fine statement. Sounds like Mark is lucky to have this woman as his wife, but apparently he's too stupid to know it.

[mollymac]

Depending on which head he's thinking with.

[thepoliticalcat]

So, you have no problem with that bit about him dutifully continuing to work towards reconciliation in a spirit of true humility? He's gonna be wishing he was back with his girlfriend in two days, judging from the coldness of that statement.

[HDS321]

Traditional monogamous marriage becomes a tedious bore for most people eventually if they live long enough. There are exceptions of course. But better to update the rational attitude and conventions regarding the inevitability of sexual and interpersonal tedium that people recognized in say the 18th and 19th centuries to make them more equitable to women. Raise your kids together. Establish mutually acceptable rules for sex outside of marriage. If you need to divorce, wait until the kids are a few years out of the nest. Barring divorce, the marriage commitment can be more than just sexual and more important than sex. It can be a partnership of mutual interests, respect, abiding friendship. Eros absolutely does not submit to the will. Come on!!!

She sounds like a nice southern lady. And there is plenty to dislike about her moronic husband other than his "indiscretion" say pretending like he was going to short the South Carolina school system millions of dollars in aid from the federal government! Now that is worth throwing his ass out on the street over.

[StellaRay]

Yes, traditional monogamous marriage can be a bore if there is not a true friendship involved. And even if there is, particularly for men I think, it is not enough. For myself, having been single for much of the first third of my life, I became UBER bored with having the same old relationship over and over again. Lust! Love, sort of, but not the kind you could count on. Disappointment, omg, he's human. Rinse and repeat.

I am lucky that in my over two decades long relationship I am far from bored. I enjoy my husband's company as much today as the day I met him. And he drives me crazy. But that's all part of the fizz.

"Barring divorce, the marriage commitment can be more than just sexual and more important than sex. It can be a partnership of mutual interests, respect, abiding friendship."

Oh, yeah.

[Arrecho]

Good post.

[RachelMc]

i'd drop the kids off in argentina with his h0. males do it all the time. plant kids everywhere and have families everywhere with a whole host of different ppl. i'd make him keep his kids and give him 200$ a month for all of them.

(half sarcasm)

[blaharumph]

i was with her until the last 3 paragraphs. ugh.

[loria]

Those last three paragraphs did it for me too.

[RachelMc]

yup..

[Buffington]

Is it just my imagination or are politicians' wives a bunch of saints?

[nowRnever]

Politicians' wives are not saints, they're politicians too.

[o4tuna]

I'm sorry, I think marriage means a totally different thing to women then it does to men. There will be no relationship between the two except what she deems necessary. No doubt, he messed up. But he his going to live in a emotion prison for several years, for pay to get out. Marriage only benefits lawyers.

[loria]

For all of you who are not from SC, Mrs. Sanford has money. She isn't dependent on him for her wealth. She comes from a wealthy family and had a successful career. If anything it's the other way around.

[StellaRay]

To some extent I agree o4tuna. Someone once said----"A woman's dream is to find the man she wants to spend the rest of her life with, a man's dream is that the auditions go on forever." :)

Nevertheless, marriage benefits both men and women, or it would have been obsolete long ago. I think if we had a more healthy idea of what a marriage should be, we would all have a better chance to succeed at it.

I did not get married till I was 34. Sewed plenty of wild oats before then. When I walked down that aisle I said to myself, "well, here's hoping." 20 years later I'm still a happily married woman. But I entered my marriage with no illusions about our entitlement to happiness---I'd had enough relationships to know better---and the wisdom to know that I'd get out of it what I put into it.

[donia1970]

..at least you had the knowledge to know that one must first be happy with ones' self. There is no such animal as I need this person to make me happy. You can share happiness with another person, but a particular person cannot make you happy - that's impossible. No one can fill this bill - and this is why many people become disillusioned in a marriage.

[weebils]

Why is everything censored? All I said was she should put on her Ninja suit and teach Mark a lesson.
As a mom I understand her anger.

[RachelMc]

why do u have to be a mom to understand her anger? can the fact that some1 does an unjust thing to another person esp to his own family move u to anger just as much regardless of being a mother?