JENNY SANFORD STATEMENT: Wife Says She Told Him To Leave "To Maintain My Dignity"

South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford's wife, Jenny, issued a statement in which she says that she told him to leave their home two weeks ago "to maintain my dignity, self-respect and my basic sense of right and wrong."

Read the statement:

I would like to start by saying I love my husband and I believe I have put forth every effort possible to be the best wife I can be during our almost twenty years of marriage. As well, for the last fifteen years my husband has been fully engaged in public service to the citizens and taxpayers of this state and I have faithfully supported him in those efforts to the best of my ability. I have been and remain proud of his accomplishments and his service to this state.

I personally believe that the greatest legacy I will leave behind in this world is not the job I held on Wall Street, or the campaigns I managed for Mark, or the work I have done as First Lady or even the philanthropic activities in which I have been routinely engaged. Instead, the greatest legacy I will leave in this world is the character of the children I, or we, leave behind. It is for that reason that I deeply regret the recent actions of my husband Mark, and their potential damage to our children.

I believe wholeheartedly in the sanctity, dignity and importance of the institution of marriage. I believe that has been consistently reflected in my actions. When I found out about my husband's infidelity I worked immediately to first seek reconciliation through forgiveness, and then to work diligently to repair our marriage. We reached a point where I felt it was important to look my sons in the eyes and maintain my dignity, self-respect, and my basic sense of right and wrong. I therefore asked my husband to leave two weeks ago.

This trial separation was agreed to with the goal of ultimately strengthening our marriage. During this short separation it was agreed that Mark would not contact us. I kept this separation quiet out of respect of his public office and reputation, and in hopes of keeping our children from just this type of public exposure. Because of this separation, I did not know where he was in the past week.

I believe enduring love is primarily a commitment and an act of will, and for a marriage to be successful, that commitment must be reciprocal. I believe Mark has earned a chance to resurrect our marriage.

Psalm 127 states that sons are a gift from the Lord and children a reward from Him. I will continue to pour my energy into raising our sons to be honorable young men. I remain willing to forgive Mark completely for his indiscretions and to welcome him back, in time, if he continues to work toward reconciliation with a true spirit of humility and repentance.

This is a very painful time for us and I would humbly request now that members of the media respect the privacy of my boys and me as we struggle together to continue on with our lives and as I seek the wisdom of Solomon, the strength and patience of Job and the grace of God in helping to heal my family.

Comments

[weebils]

I think she leaked the emails. Classy letter but it has a lot of seething anger underneath. She starts with stating how much she put into the marriage and ends with his needing to do full repentance. As a mom I feel your anger. My ex had deep problems but even he would never abandon our child on father's day. Don your ninja suit and one night beat the crap out of Marky.

[StellaRay]

Wow. You will actually go so far as to say you think she leaked the e-mails with absolutely no evidenceof such? And you feel free to go even further and site the "seething anger," beneath her
words?

Funny, I read something totally different. I read a personal statement from the heart of a woman who had no desire to say what she said, but had to. Don't know that under similar circumstances I could have come up with such a fair response.

She did not end with her need for him to do full repentance. She ended with her need for her husband to recommit to their marriage. Duh.

[donia1970]

I don't know if she leaked the emails - I doubt that she did; however, I analyze writings for a living - and there is an undercurrent of seething anger - which is understandable.

[loria]

The press has had the emails since last December. I don't know why the press didn't leak the emails before now.

[helgathewitch]

Oh please! How can people be so gullible. This statement is nothing but a big public relations stunt. I wouldn't doubt that his handlers told her to do it.

[Promise]

Helga the Witch, you are well-named. Too bad you are so cynical that you can't believe that this woman was writining from her heart!

[helgathewitch]

I have no pitty for her. Hard to take someone seriously when she supports a man who is doing everything in his power to have Obama fail. Her statement is very contrived. Honestly her statement made my skin crawl

[Foryourconsideration]

Classy response, and very mature.

Jenny -
This too shall pass. He's their Dad, and you can love him despite his behavior. Hating him for falling isn't going to make you feel better. Focus on stability for the kids, and stay strong yourself.

Try not to doubt yourself. Time passes, so hold onto all the love you can.

[RachelMc]

why would u hold on to love for a dude who clearly does not and will not love u the same? he disn't even care about his own children enough to not put his self in the situation to begin with. i hope your talking about something else.

[thepoliticalcat]

Are u kidding me? Read his letters to teh grlfriend. If that was my partner writing to someone else, we could stay together for the kids or our jobs or whatever but I would never be able to trust him/her again.

[Chicago1968]

it's so totally over, they both know it.
Nice letter but all it is saying to me is get off my back

[loria]

It is over. She's known for five weeks and they seperate so that they can work on their marriage. He tells he he's hiking or writing and goes to Argentina where he spends five days crying. Does anyone believe that he was only crying while there?

[o4tuna]

crying for more

[StellaRay]

Many said that about Hillary and Bill. Many will still claim they don't have a "real marriage." But everyone's marriage is a mystery solved only between the two involved. We cannot know what we think we know about what goes on behind closed doors.

And I wonder at people's need to proclaim this or any marriage over before the two who made those vows have made their decision.

[hoobit]

Sorry, I don't agree. Jenny's 'situation' is *totally* different than Hillary's. How?

Hillary was (and is) a well-known, household, international 'name' in her own right:; Jenny is a 'name' *only* by reflection of the position/power husband Mark holds within SC and the GOP 'leadership'.

I *strongly* suspect Jenny's 'forgiveness' towards Mark is rooted deeper in her need to be 'a name' than it is in making their marriage work (and/or keeping up the facade of the Family Values version of marriage.) If he fades into anonymity, so does she; she has no 'name' to keep herself in the limelight - to keep interest on herself (as she has as 1st lady of SC.)

I don't think Jenny's reaction to Mark's affair can be compared to Hillary's reaction to Bill's. At all. I think it's another example of where the 'defense' of/comparison to: "But... but... but...Clin­ton!" is so irrelevant as to be laughable.

[carol]

...in addition to "See what a martyr I am. I gave up my Wall Street career for this man, I succor the needy with my charity work, and motherhood is my most precious accomplishment. Many of Mark's achievements are a result of my talents and sacrifice.­" I'm a woman. I've been there. I understand the stage she is going through but don't be too quick to paint her as some kind of saint. .. She's righteously angry and wounded but with a martyr complex nonetheless. This is a "After all I've done for you" speech she probably spent hours constructing over the last two weeks. Nothing wrong with that but let's call it what it is and not get sucked into the melodrama.

[StellaRay]

Carol,

I would suggest it is you who is being sucked into your own melodrama. Why is it that women are always the hardest on other women? Why is it that you feel the need to call out her martyrdom rather than calling out her husband for putting her in this position?

Yeah, she definetly made a case for herself. I much prefer her gutsy statement of self respect to the doe eyed women who stand beside their cheating men to make it easier for them.

[snow]

Carol: Yes, "Martyr Mother" seems to be the subtext, and the "holier than thou" tone is somewhat off putting. However, she must be in incredible pain.
However, what seems of primary conern and VERY unfair is that she prevented contact, not only with her, but also with the boys. ...using them as pawns under the pretext of the "sanctity" of marriage. Yuck!
I hope that she realizes that she has some accountability, or I don't see much "healing" happenig.
I hope this does not seem harsh.
What seems VERY odd to me, is that they probably could have "recoinciled" this without the all the fanfare.

[helgathewitch]

Nothing but public relations PUKE! People are so gullible

[Wiseronenow]

Writes well, smart lady, and commend her courage, but sorry to say, he is already gone. You'll be trying to ressurect a shell of your former husband. He left his heart in Argentina.

[StellaRay]

I would argue with you and say I think chances are he left his libido in Argentina. I think in the end he will find that life is just a matter of greeting your new problems. He will find that he gave up a lot only to say hello to the same old thing---the difficulty of making true love last.

I would also say, that people get the definition of love and lust mixed up all the time. When all is said and done, if Sanford flies off to Argentina to be with his escape hatch, I know he will figure out all over again that true love is a lot harder than lust---only this time he will have to do it without the respect of his children and his collegues.

[clsez]

Well said, and as a result of obvious critical thought devoid of the emotional trappings in a situation like this. Mrs Sanford seems emotionally stable herself. Mark, as gifted people are frequently tempted to, fell victim to the allure he felt behind that door knob, his prowess leading him to believe that he had more capacity than he did.

[donia1970]

..confirme­d....

[mphsnme]

Elizabeth Edwards, take note. THIS is the way a woman with class responds to such a crisis.
I am certain Mrs. Sanford will never write or pander a book.

[loria]

Once again someone finds a way to take this story and use it slam a Dem. You must be proud of yourself coming up with a way to slam Elizabeth.

[Wiseronenow]

Exactly right.

[loria]

Maybe you and mpsnme can take the opportunity to slam Hillary too. You did forget to congratulate Mrs. Vitter, Mrs. Gingrich, Mrs. Ensign, Mrs. Craig and Mrs. Hagee for their handling of their husband's infidelity.

[Wiseronenow]

I meant my "exactly right" for mphsnme.

[IndyGirl19]

Absolutely no one with class would dare to take any woman to task who has had to endure the heartbreak of infidelity. However a woman reacts, anyone with class reacts toward her with empathy and caring.

You are crass and shameless.

[StellaRay]

It's only 12 hours after Sanford's confession. How can you be so sure of that? When it comes to other's misfortunes I feel it is best to always keep in mind an old saying....­"There by the grace of God go I."

[MillieNeon]

How sad for her. But I must say, it's so weird how quickly these Republican men ask forgiveness for their sins when they are not will to extend forgiveness to others, like Bill Clinton. That's what kills me. I forgive him, sure. Forgiveness is selfish. It means you don't want to be carry hate in your heart and the only way to let it go truly is to forgive. But forgiveness doesn't mean I want his kind of hypocrisy around. Next thing you know he'll be using his experience with sin to talk about how much he's learned abt the sanctity of marriage and why gays shouldn't marry.

I hope Bill Clinton is getting a kick out of watching those who so demeaned him show their hypocrisy.

[donia1970]

Agreed. Bill is having a blast! But the new Pub excuse now is that they didn't railroad Bill for the affair - it was lying about it that made them mad. So, I guess if Bill had acknowledged the affair, begged on camera and cried - they would have forgiven him, and all would have been well. (sarcasm)

[thepoliticalcat]

Bill must be laughing his hiney off right now. Every single one of the hypocrites who came out against him has been caught and exposed, and the best part about exposing their hypocrisy is, everyone has compared it to how they treated Bill. For all his faults, Bill was a charming man. I didn't always agree with his politics, but he did get a few good things done (I'll never forgive him for DADT, but it was worse before him). I'm just happy that he and Hillary are probly sitting at home right now laughing themselves sick over a glass of wine.

[takeyourballandgohome]

Been there, done that. He has made a fool out of Jenny. In time, she too, like Elizabeth Edwards, will realize who they truly are, what they deserve and also their children. Change the locks, let him have his passport and wave goodbye. Sounds like you Jenny, unlike most of us, have money. Be glad for that....b/­c having to provide cuts into one's day bigtime. You are correct about raising your boys and it is a comfort when they are grown to look at fine contributing adults in society.

[harmonikasavingsbonds]

"Leave, so that I might maintain my dignity."

I may just use that some day.

[Wiseronenow]

I remember telling a guy once under similar circumstances: "you don't deserve my dignity". That's the mindset she should have used in this situation.

[Bashley]

Jenny,

I applaud you for keeping it classy as this story unfolds. I feel for you and your children, I'm sure I should feel some sympathy for your husband, but at this time I don't.

I believe you will need time to decide what is best for you and your family. My prayers for you and your family are being sent up.

Huff Po Readers,

While I know we'd all like to slam the GOP and its "family values" platform, but I say we sit back and see what really happens. I hope that Mark Sanford gets back from the universe what he has put into it with this affair. I hope his family holds up and that his wife will continue to hold her head high.

[KarateKid]

And John Ensign, too. It's the hypocrisy, of painting yourselves better than others, then falling on a sword, and then trying to hide behind the Bible, that pisses us off.

[StellaRay]

Yep!!!

[donia1970]

There is something amiss here. She stated that her husband had "earned" the right for a second chance. How is that when he just returned from an Argentina holiday?

He states the affair is over. Was it necessary to go all the way to Argentina to break it off? Something is still not right here.

He is obviously still very in love with this other woman - and only considering damage control at this point. The first apology he issued was to the other woman - not his wife.

[MakeAWish]

I feel sorry for his wife in that she is humiliating herself to the world. Not a very noble act, but very pathetic!

[StellaRay]

I don't feel his wife has humiliated herself at all.

She may not be "noble," but she is brave. She had the good sense not to show up by his side today to share the humiliation that belonged only to him. Knowing she couldn't dodge this bullet she released a statement that only the bitter and ungenerous could consider pathetic.

[donia1970]

..well, at least she wasn't standing up there with him!

[takeyourballandgohome]

And, he has stated, often, he's cried all the days he was in Argentina.­...what about, his boys? his wife? No, that he had to leave the home wrecker!

[donia1970]

..just remember that the home wrecker went only as far as "he" allowed her to go. It takes two to make a mess like this.

[Wiseronenow]

And, definitely, so were the tears for the other woman.

[jedi penguin]

Classy lady. I wish her and her boys the best as they weather the media circus.

[MiHi]

Sorry if this may ruffle a few feathers, but I have ZERO sympathy for their children. The spawn of extreme rightwingers tend to become extreme right wingers themselves, who continue on with the reign of evil that their parents have waged (see GW Bush, Meghan McCain, and Jonathan Falwell for perfect examples). These children are merely the threats in the future to our OWN children.

No doubt they are raised to despise minorities and the poor, and will grow up to attempt to inflict harm on them as their parents have done in their time.

[loria]

I think you are being unfair. I do feel sorry for these kids (more so than Mrs. Sanford). They don't deserve this and this will affect them for the rest of their lives.

[Wiseronenow]

I think when Obama said, "that the kids are off-limits" it applies in this situation too, even for a Rethug.

[IndyGirl19]

I think it's time for a big goblet of red wine for you... and maybe a valium.

I save my distaste of and disgust of conservative hypocracy for the adults. Many "spawn" of wingnuts have grown up to recognize a different, better way to live in the world. Give'm a chance. Sheesh!

[donia1970]

You're right; however, please remember that hate is taught - and it would not be the kids' fault. Have you ever seen very young children playing together? It's an awesome sight - simply because color or race never ever enters their minds.

[Poorsarah]

If she kicks him to the curb, it doesn't always have to be a motive of revenge. Maybe she will choose to divorce him because of his choice to be unfaithful and taking advantage of her love and faithfulness. Forgiving someone is a choice...i­t is also a choice to keep taking them back so they can continue to take advantage of you...in other words, being a sucker.
Our anger should be at Mr. Sanford's hypocrisy.­..claiming moral/family values while doing the opposite. Maybe he developed selective amnesia and suddenly forgot about that Bible verse that says to flee from sexual immorality??? Another GOP soapboxer shot down in flames by their own doing.

[annshirley]

Bless her heart. I see that she wants to protect her sons from this mess. But being with your mistress on Father's Day is sad. He does not love his wife. He should kneel down and beg those boys forgiveness. 2012 I think not.

[ciscoguy]

Would you vote for Bill again?

[thepoliticalcat]

Yep. But Bill didn't pretend to be "holier than thou."