JENNY SANFORD STATEMENT: Wife Says She Told Him To Leave "To Maintain My Dignity"

South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford's wife, Jenny, issued a statement in which she says that she told him to leave their home two weeks ago "to maintain my dignity, self-respect and my basic sense of right and wrong."

Read the statement:

I would like to start by saying I love my husband and I believe I have put forth every effort possible to be the best wife I can be during our almost twenty years of marriage. As well, for the last fifteen years my husband has been fully engaged in public service to the citizens and taxpayers of this state and I have faithfully supported him in those efforts to the best of my ability. I have been and remain proud of his accomplishments and his service to this state.

I personally believe that the greatest legacy I will leave behind in this world is not the job I held on Wall Street, or the campaigns I managed for Mark, or the work I have done as First Lady or even the philanthropic activities in which I have been routinely engaged. Instead, the greatest legacy I will leave in this world is the character of the children I, or we, leave behind. It is for that reason that I deeply regret the recent actions of my husband Mark, and their potential damage to our children.

I believe wholeheartedly in the sanctity, dignity and importance of the institution of marriage. I believe that has been consistently reflected in my actions. When I found out about my husband's infidelity I worked immediately to first seek reconciliation through forgiveness, and then to work diligently to repair our marriage. We reached a point where I felt it was important to look my sons in the eyes and maintain my dignity, self-respect, and my basic sense of right and wrong. I therefore asked my husband to leave two weeks ago.

This trial separation was agreed to with the goal of ultimately strengthening our marriage. During this short separation it was agreed that Mark would not contact us. I kept this separation quiet out of respect of his public office and reputation, and in hopes of keeping our children from just this type of public exposure. Because of this separation, I did not know where he was in the past week.

I believe enduring love is primarily a commitment and an act of will, and for a marriage to be successful, that commitment must be reciprocal. I believe Mark has earned a chance to resurrect our marriage.

Psalm 127 states that sons are a gift from the Lord and children a reward from Him. I will continue to pour my energy into raising our sons to be honorable young men. I remain willing to forgive Mark completely for his indiscretions and to welcome him back, in time, if he continues to work toward reconciliation with a true spirit of humility and repentance.

This is a very painful time for us and I would humbly request now that members of the media respect the privacy of my boys and me as we struggle together to continue on with our lives and as I seek the wisdom of Solomon, the strength and patience of Job and the grace of God in helping to heal my family.

Comments

[jillclaire]

how damned sad is this. I know what it feels like, to be dealing with this. But not so publicly, and luckily I was able to shield my children.

[vfoster]

It is indeed a sad situation for Jenny and her sons, but I find great joy in watching Sampson fall from grace. You can't just play this holier than thou role and ask for the resignation of all other disgraced politicians and not receive the same treatment. At least the others (except Craig) had the decency to resign. Let's see if Sampson mans up and do what's right.
He had the audacity to complain about President Obama taking his wife out to dinner in New York, stating "how does this look to the country with so many people do so badly". Well how this look to the country-using state funds to go and see your bimbo or even if you didn't use state funds-going to see your bimbo. Get a life and I hope Jenny finds a husband who can help teach the boys of what not to do.

[ciscoguy]

Glad you're happy to see a decent family suffer for your own selfish reasons.

[IndyGirl19]

Come now. Don't try to recast that happiness for your own selfish reasons.

No one can be blamed for being thrilled that the hypocrite Sanford has been exposed. The fact that his family is suffering is unfortunate, but all on him.That decent family is suffering because of Mr. Sanford's selfish reasons.

[thepoliticalcat]

What exactly is decent about this family? Sanford criticises others' behaviour and holds himself up as a god-fearing individual who lives a blameless life. His wife is an ex-Wall Street bigwig with lots of inherited money and a bible-basher. Who knows what the kids are like, although none of this is their fault. For all we know they're hideous bullies, a la Jeb Bush's kids. (OTOH, perhaps they're good people, but enough about them.) So which decent member of this family are we talking about here?

[StellaRay]

Some on this thread say that Sanford's marital woes are not our business, and there are more important things we need to discuss. It's impossible to argue that there are not more important things to discuss.

However, in every culture there are laws and mores. Laws are the things enough of us agree on to put on the books. Mores are what we decide is acceptable or not in our culture, but are not important enough, or do not lend enough of a majority opinion to make it to law.

Gossip, that much maligned word, is how we decide our mores. Every culture needs both laws and mores. No one wants to see a cheating husband or wife in the stockades anymore. But the discussion of what we think works as a culture is more important than it gets credit for.

It is not a matter of judgement, but rather a matter of what works best for most.

[Waltfl]

In SC they are our business.

South Carolina Code of Laws
(Unannotated)
Current through the end of the 2008 Session
Title 16 - Crimes and Offenses
CHAPTER 15.
OFFENSES AGAINST MORALITY AND DECENCY. ARTICLE 1. MISCELLANEOUS OFFENSES

SECTION 16-15-60. Adultery or fornication.
Any man or woman who shall be guilty of the crime of adultery or fornication shall be liable to indictment and, on conviction, shall be severally punished by a fine of not less than one hundred dollars nor more than five hundred dollars or imprisonment for not less than six months nor more than one year or by both fine and imprisonment, at the discretion of the court.

SECTION 16-15-70. "Adultery" defined.
"Adultery" is the living together and carnal intercourse with each other or habitual carnal intercourse with each other without living together of a man and woman when either is lawfully married to some other person.

SECTION 16-15-80. "Fornication" defined.
"Fornication" is the living together and carnal intercourse with each other or habitual carnal intercourse with each other without living together of a man and woman, both being unmarried.

[StellaRay]

You bring up an important point. There are some laws on the books that should not be laws but rather should be left up to people's mores. If you choose to stand up against the mores of your culture, you must be brave enough to weather the consequences of that, but it should not land you in jail.

I want NOTHING TO DO with the laws of South Carolina you state here. As ardent of a democrat as I am, I want no part of having the government making these decisions. We all know there are plenty of antique laws left on the books that no one bothers to enforce anymore because they no longer surpass the test of what should be law.

[loria]

Does that mean the govenor is going to be arrested or does it mean that SC has some stupid laws on the books?

[cyjames1975]

Those laws are absurd. The real issue is that he disappeared without leaving a proper chain of command and transfer of duties to the lt gov. That he was completely MIA. That's where his poor judgment extends beyond being a bad husband and into being a bad governor. That's enough to question whether he should lead. The affair is insignificant as far as state business is concerned.

[MakeAWish]

Your husband is not a positive role model for male children to emulate..

[RobDoub]

The most gracious statement I have ever read for these circumstances.

When her 4 sons are grown, they will see their mother's character in this statement and be proud. All of you who have belittled this in various ways have given no thought to what this is about.

Mrs. Sanford....nice job. So sorry for your pain, and that of your sons. I wish you only the best.

[loria]

Listen, I am sorry for her pain, but I feel the most compassion for the children. I have been sticking up for Mrs. Sanford on the site of our local SC paper. Sanford apologists have gone as far as to say there are two sides to every marriage. Still, I don't like that she threw in the line about the sanctitiy of marriage. I don't know why she did it, but that seems to be the phrase used by the Right whenever they talk about marriage.

[StellaRay]

I feel her pain too loria.

But as for throwing in the line about the "sanctity of marriage," I'm not quite sure why you're irritated. Particularly when Sanford has been a far right, bible thumping guy, and we can only assume his wife agreed with him.

But even if that weren't the case, if there is not a "sanctity" to marriage, why bother with it at all. I"m not saying I think every marriage should survive, no matter the unhappiness.

I am saying that if your marriage isn't working to the point where you cannot resist the urge to be untrue, then have the balls to pack your bags and leave, no matter the political consequences, before you betray anyone, and take the risks involved with that.

What T's me off is people who want it both ways.

[thepoliticalcat]

Judging from the tone of her statements, he will have to spend a long time groveling before her before she forgives him, if she ever does. What do you think that does to children, watching their parents take this stuff out on each other? Children are not stupid, they understand subtlety and nuance. Her statement about being " ... willing to forgive Mark completely for his indiscretions and to welcome him back, in time, if he continues to work toward reconciliation with a true spirit of humility and repentance,[...]" is pretty revealing. She sounds like a passive-aggressive bible-thumper with a mad on. He's going to be crawling for a long time.

[Martampa]

Seems he was resurrecting something but it wasn't your marriage. Kick this poor excuse of a husband to the curb.

[Steve Wagner]

CHEATING IS ONE THING,

Hypocrisy another,

SPENDING TAX PAYER MONEY on trips to Argentina?

PRICELESS!

[MJJM]

I see she hit all the status quo bible scriptures!!

[schatsie]

Oh my gosh, she came from WALL STREET, that den of iniquity... and managed his campaign, kept his pants zipped and tracked the money...great stuff.... Can't believe it, Wall STREET people know more about theivery than adultery, right???

[reesetv]

If you wanted to maintain some dignity, you'd kick him to the curb. He just proved he isn't into reconciling this marriage. He doesn't deserve your love or forgiveness. Again.

[StellaRay]

There is no dignity in revenge.

[SteadfastObserver]

Well said.

[nahcllib]

Here's the kicker: he hasn't been working "towards reconciliation" by spending a week in Argentina with his girlfriend; there were other retreats he could have taken that would have shown a desire to repent

[loria]

Like hiking in tha Appalachians as he told his staff?

[ljrabq]

Is this woman on the pipe? It must be some powerful medication necessary to get her head around this one.

[gardengranny]

Didn't Gov. Sanford tell his father-in-law that he "had to follow his heart"???

If that's the case, I think the decision to reconcile is out of Jenny Sanford's hands.

And maybe she should talk to her husband about the media frenzy that will follow his admission.

He's the one who started all this - the first time he decided to cheat...

[StellaRay]

"I believe enduring love is primarily a commitment and an act of will, and for a marriage to be successful, that commitment must be reciprocal."

Jenny spoke the whole ball game with this one sentence. It means that both partners must fend off the glitz of "new" in the interest of protecting the "old." And it ain't easy. But that's the program with marriage, and I can say from my own personal experience, that it's well worth it.

I understand that many are not as lucky as I am---to know that no matter how hot someone else looks, in the end they will never equal what the man I chose 25 years ago offers me.

It seems to me that Sanford had a very fine woman in Jenny---and I can believe his mistress might also be a fine woman. It's happened millions of times since the beginning of time. I'm no moralist when it comes to personal relationships, but I pity the governor's decisions. Four boys and a lifetime of memories vs. that one moment when you must say no.

[pmc617]

Frankly, after reading that drivel, I have just a little compassion for the governor.

[rbndc]

Why? Maintaining self-respect and dignity is a foreign concept to you?

[helgathewitch]

because its a a bunch of hooey

[nahcllib]

My thoughts exactly; I'd go to Argentina too if I had to scripture versus chasing me around the house all day.

[nahcllib]

My thoughts exactly. I'd go to Argentina too if I had scripture versus chasing me around the house all day

[RuthlessDictator]

Human beings are NOT monogamous by nature.

[Know-some-secrets]

and politicians are not honest by nature, so you have double jeopardy

The problem is they CLAIM to be honest and monogamous. Guess it depends on what is, is.

[placpje]

Or the meaning of "I will filibuster the FISA compromise", as opposed to say, ...

.... vote for it.

[tryandgetsomecommonsense]

says who?

I'd guess it's only people who can't seem to stay loyal to one person.

[SteadfastObserver]

Agreed. It's like that old saying goes,"Thieves think everyone has the urge to steal."

[Martampa]

But self control is supposed to be.

[jillclaire]

I think it's MEN who can not be monogamous by nature - or at least SOME men. Our society now asks for this. If it's not realistic, the marriage vows should be changed. It's unfair to ask one thing from some, and accept different from others.

[thepoliticalcat]

I believe some men and some women are naturally inclined to be monogamous, and some aren't. Monogamy, like having children, is one issue that can make or break a marriage. It should be discussed before people take that serious step. Unfortunately, people often marry in haste -- only to, like Jenny, repent at leisure, later.

[thepoliticalcat]

Some are, some aren't. Human beings come in many different conformations. One more thing: while she's thumping on about the sanctity of marriage, I'd like to remind ol' Jenny that her Mr. HappyPants hubby has been one of the outspoken hypocrites criticizing gay marriage. Glad it came back to bite him.