Limbaugh Blames Sanford's Affair On Obama, Because Why Not?

Everyone in the world, of course, is having a big old sad about Mark Sanford, and how his political career is hobbled because he was carrying on a secret dalliance in Argentina. And even though nothing terrible happened to South Carolina while he was out of the country and not informing anyone of his whereabouts and directing his staff to lie for him and whatnot, people are going to have "trust issues" with Sanford now, and so his presidential hopes have dimmed.

Naturally, the question is: Who is to blame for all of this. And the answer is Mark Sanford. Or is it?* You see, Rush Limbaugh, from the "Excellence In Broadcasting" network, has excellently broadcast an excellent theory of who is really to blame.

[LISTEN]

LIMBAUGH: This Sanford business! I'll tell you, one of the first thoughts that crossed my mind, with Mark Sanford ... this is the first thought: What he did defies logic. This is ... more than being 180 degrees out of phase because of lust, or love. To split the scene for five days, and we know he's been separated, and he knows, by the way, that the newspaper in his state has the emails between him and his concubine down there in Argentina, he knows this. He knows that somebody knows what's going on. He knows his wife knows. So he ups and leaves for five days, doesn't leave anybody in charge of the state, in case there's an emergency.

Right about now, you imagine that Limbaugh is building up to some "thinking with his penis" type of statement, right? But no!

LIMBAUGH: This is almost like: I don't give a damn! Country's going to hell in a handbasket. I just want out of here!

Uhm. .. what?

LIMBAUGH: He had just tried to fight the stimulus money coming to South Carolina. He didn't want any part of it. He lost the battle and said "What the hell? The Federal government is taking over! I want to enjoy life!"

And it goes on from there. Apparently, it's all President Barack Obama's fault, for killing people's "spirit," and making them so "fed up" with the SADNESS that they've got no other choice but to abdicate their grown-up responsibilities and start philandering "before Obama takes away their money" and "their house." And Bill Clinton was in Argentina "the other night," too! So everyone is going to Buenos Aires, for succor. It will be a marvel and a wonder if any 2012 contender hasn't logged some serious time with Latin American mistresses.

Anyway, I think we can all agree that this is a very cunning plan by President Obama, who somehow managed to depress Sanford's spirits so much that he started having an affair months before Obama even became President and started enacting policies.

But then, this is just how Obama's parents and the State of Hawaii planned it out when they spirited the Kenyan infant into the United States and faked his citizenship! "The perfect scheme!" they said, "This mixed-race boy will surely have no trouble winning the presidency! And then, we will totally have our revenge on a South Carolina Governor we've never even heard of yet, for some reason!"

And they almost got away with it!

*Yes, it is.

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Comments

[jvasco]

08:03 PM on 07/01/2009

is he blaming his crimnal drug behavior on GW Bush?

[CeasertheBoxer]

08:45 PM on 06/29/2009

For all the talk that conservati­ves make about "personal responsibi­lity", Rush wants to blame Sanford's affair on Obama!? This makes no sense, unless....­AHA! RUSH IS NOT A REAL CONSERVATI­VE! Booya!

[LetUsRatiocinate]

02:59 PM on 06/29/2009

If humor was the point, I much prefer David Letterman'­s take on the situation.

He noted that Sanford going to Argentina for a tryst was just another example of giving jobs to foreigners that Americans won't do. ;-D

[KLordsha]

06:12 AM on 06/29/2009

Excellent article. You think Rush ever reads his transcript­s out loud? I don't think he knows how crazy he sounds.

[drcrank]

12:13 AM on 06/29/2009

Just when you think Limbaugh can't get any more paranoid..­.

[Rosey]

06:42 PM on 06/28/2009

Oh sure, it was Obama who told them to scream for Clinton to resign....­for calling out Clinton when they were doing the same thing. Sure it was Obama who told them to be hypocrites­.....Becau­se they blame everyone but themselves­. Look who is talking...­just an airbag of hate.

[BarefootSoul]

05:07 PM on 06/28/2009

Read the article and listen to the clip...Rus­h was neither blaming Obama nor Dems...he was simply saying that the first thing that crossed his mind was that Sanford "gave up".....

This is a misleading headline by HP

[Peacebestill]

04:20 PM on 07/10/2009

Yeah he gave up white bread for jalapeno bread! Got nothing to do with politics. Just basic adultry...­claim your sin, repent (which he didn't really; but he's not my husband) move on to the next one!

[questionsquestions]

03:18 PM on 06/28/2009

What Limbaugh is saying that Mark Sanford is an extremely weak individual who runs off in a snit when things don't go his way. That's admirable.­..how?

[Rosey]

06:43 PM on 06/28/2009

Because that is the Republican way of living.

[VinceTeeter]

02:44 PM on 06/28/2009

Hey Rushsky, consider Argentina - think about it - you could be the new Peron! Or maybe Germany, and you could be the next... That's right, the real RICHT, folks.

[Beegood]

01:59 PM on 06/28/2009

If only Rush would act on his words and move to Argentina!

[johnr49]

01:54 PM on 06/28/2009

Maybe this was an attempt at humor? - the problem is that Limbaugh's "jokes" are pathetical­ly lame and his "humorous" delivery barely indistingu­ishable from his "straight" delivery, so a lot of the time it's nearly impossible to tell whether he's trying to be funny or not.

I noticed that a lot of dittoheads repeat Rush's "jokes" and nicknames ad nauseum - I honestly don't know whether that's because they honestly find them funny, or they simply parrot everything he says.

[deusvitae]

01:24 PM on 06/28/2009

How does anyone take this guy seriously? Some concept of "personal responsibi­lity." I am tired of this hyper-part­isanism from the extreme right.

[duhtruth]

01:22 PM on 06/28/2009

Poor Rush! Things are beyond bad for the big guy!

[SSF]

01:13 PM on 06/28/2009

Let's ask any of Mr. Limbaughs' three ex-wives wether they feel Obama is responsibl­e for Mark Sanfords' Buenos Aires adultery romp!

[katiewon]

01:03 PM on 06/28/2009

The whole thing is so stupid. Rush is like a child, he learns to shock the audience and cause controvers­y so he's going to keep doing it over and over until the adults catch on and ignore him. His followers, ("dittohea­ds") eat it up.

I recently ran into a "dittohead­." He had that glazed over look of a zombie and without attempting small talk immediatel­y launched into a steady rant about abortion, Obama and other issues favored by conservati­ves. And he loves Rush Limbaugh.

I avoided the shouting match and instead questioned him. One question was "if abortion is murder because it's "killing" a human being, why is it ok to murder the doctor, and at what age did it become ok? (two wrongs don't make a right). If you knew a fetus would grow up to be an abortion doctor what would you do? Is abortion ok then? No intelligib­le answer.

Let's stop complainin­g about Rush and do something - like challenge his exaggerati­ons, half-truth­s and lies with a serious debate over the issues. Sort of like what Jon Stewart did to Jim Cramer.