07/30/2009 05:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

Dickipedia: Tom Tancredo

Thomas Gerard Tancredo (born December 20, 1945) is a former Republican member of the United States House of Representatives, former presidential candidate, member of the lollipop guild, ideological ringer for your borderline-racist grandfather, and a dick.

Tancredo's sole political position seems to be resolute opposition to illegal immigration. This stance, however, seems to be less so informed by logic and reason and more so informed by panic that one of the Tancredo grandkids will be named Tom Tancredo-Rodriguez. It's as though, after seeing the first act of West Side Story, he got all fired up and stormed out and never saw the ending.

Some critics have identified Tancredo as hispanophobic, which is actually incorrect. He's also afraid of Muslims. And once said we should threaten to bomb Mecca.

One thing, however, that Tancredo has not demonstrated a fear of is looking like a fool on television, an activity he has frequently pursued.

During the 2008 Presidential campaign, Tancredo--America's littlest candidate--used every form of implicit racism and fear mongering available to him. For most Americans, this aggressive (if coarse and ignoble) campaign technique was still not enough to make him at all distinguishable from Duncan Hunter or Jim Gilmore, two fellow candidates best known for having been candidates.

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