Sanford Or Steel: Can You Tell The Difference Between The SC Gov's Writing And A Romance Novel?

I think we can all agree that while the future holds many things for Mark Sanford, a career as a writer is not one of them. His emails to his Argentinian mistress were full of syrup and cliche, to a point that Jimmy Kimmel couldn't help but reenact them, Jimmy Fallon made karaoke out of them, and Conan couldn't tell the difference between his writing and that of Danielle Steel's.

Here's one of many terrible examples:

"I could digress and say that you have the ability to give magnificent gentle kisses, or that I love your tan lines or that I love the curve of your hips, the erotic beauty of you holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of yourself) in the faded glow of the night's light -- but hey, that would be going into sexual details..."

O'Brien made his sidekick, Andy Richter, guess as to who authored a series of passages like this last night. He had a little help from a pre-recorded Fabio, but all in all did pretty well considering.


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Comments

[henrypapillon]

10:59 AM on 07/09/2009

The Republican Play Book has much more sex in it than any of the soap operas.

[maisnon55]

03:30 PM on 07/08/2009

The timing of world events has worked out really well for Ensign, his affair seems to have slipped away.........why don't these people resign as they insist Dems must do under the same circumstances

[munki]

08:18 PM on 07/07/2009

Governor Sanford is really in love...

Have you seen a movie called "Damage (1992)" aka Fatale (France) by Juliette Binoche... ?

A bit of the story...

[RevBookburn]

07:40 PM on 07/07/2009

Sanford's erotic novel wouldn't measure up. The female character goes from being insignificant to being a 'soul-mate' to being a nobody again. Sanford isn't even good enough to be a star on a soap opera.

[Whitley2009]

06:02 PM on 07/07/2009

Romance writers capitalize on central male characters with narcissistic personality disorders.

[jackson1015]

05:28 PM on 07/07/2009

Sanford was in love with a woman with a unibrow.

[Seepaz]

04:29 PM on 07/07/2009

Gov Mark Sanford: "The Original Playa from the Himalaya"

[judiNJ]

04:07 PM on 07/07/2009

I am not one who loves romance novels. Well written mysteries are more my style, so I was most into this little SC story when the headline read, "South Carolina Governor Missing".... that was right down my ally.

[triplbee]

02:55 PM on 07/07/2009

Talk about kicking a man when he's down.

[LemonMeringue]

07:51 PM on 07/07/2009

Yes it is.

But he went after Bill Clinton for "crossing a line" so he deserves it.

[peterg76]

01:14 PM on 07/07/2009

We don't care about his affair or his literary talents. Sanford walked off his job.

[Poorsarah]

01:51 AM on 07/10/2009

And lied.

[EquesLignite]

01:08 PM on 07/07/2009

Mark Sanford is a human, and humans aren't perfect.
Abstinence-only education does not work most of the time, because restricting human sentimentality is a daunting task. Romance crosses party lines, in many times of history.

[jmby]

04:03 PM on 07/07/2009

Is that you, Mark Sanford?

[EquesLignite]

04:50 PM on 07/07/2009

Nope, that ain't funny.
I am a Democrat from the Northeast.
And I say it twice, abstinence-only education does not work, and I do not like Republicans.

[devdil]

12:42 PM on 07/07/2009

I think in this age, nothing can remain private and Sanford, should have known that, ESP since he knew that his email got hacked and that there was potential for blackmail. I for one, am not sorry at all, about his loss of privacy. I wont be surprised if there was plagiarsm involved.
Why any woman would like this sappy stuff is beyond me. One of my boyfriends used to be very lyrical, just like Sanford, and frankly, I found that a bit embarrasing.

[jalowe1957]

12:25 PM on 07/07/2009

Mark Sanford, you are no Barbara Cartland, and that includes keeping the heroine virginal until the last three-quarters of the novel.

[WindySailor]

12:22 PM on 07/07/2009

True, his writing was sophomoric but I'll bet she loved it just the same. And since he wasn't writing for a public audience, the quality doesn't matter. Mind you, I'm not excusing his philandering, just commenting on the topic.

Regarding romance novels, the quality of writing isn't usually the problem - it's the pathetically sappy story lines (but that's from a man's viewpoint - feel free to disagree).

[pericles21]

12:11 PM on 07/07/2009

Psychiatric exam!