Down, Not Out: Unemployed And Happier Than Ever

Dixie Redfearn of Nevada City, Calif. wrote the Huffington Post to say her 30-year journalism career ended when she lost her job more than four months ago. "I'm 61 -- still too young for Social Security -- and could not afford COBRA, even at 65 percent off," she wrote. "My husband is a retired teacher. I have had cancer twice and am now uninsured."

But Redfearn isn't fazed, even though her job search has been futile. She wrote that she's relaxed 1,000 percent, gardened to her heart's content, read two or three books every week, and stepped up her fitness time. "In fact," she wrote, "I may be happier than I've ever been."

The Huffington Post called her up and asked her if she really is that happy.

I think I am. I'm at a good place in my life. I've done a lot of things. My husband and I have four children and nine grandchildren. Not having really had a significant break from work ever, it took about three months to sort of detox from the daily grind.

At the three-month point I sort of felt like, lighter. Emotionally, physically, mentally lighter. I felt like I'd made peace with everything. I was kind of in a group. A lot of my friends who were retired, the first thing they did when they were retired, they cleaned every closet in the house. I did that. We all have too much stuff.

How much unemployment insurance do you have left?

It currently says on my check 52 weeks from March. I think I probably will get an extension just because of the way the economy seems. I don't see anything looking up. Do you?

Not really. Do you worry at all?

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I don't worry. Isn't that weird? I feel like maybe I should. We've scaled back a little bit.

What about health insurance?

Why am I not worried about not having health insurance? I just feel like it's going to be OK. When I had health insurance I was paying a little over $200 every two-week paycheck and my copays for prescriptions were $30. When you don't have insurance, places like KMart and Wal-Mart and Target all offer generic medicine at a hugely reduced price. I'm getting a prescription for less than my copay was when I was paying all these hundreds of dollars for insurance.

Don't you ever just know that things are going to be OK? When you've had children and grandchildren and illness you just have a different perspective on life. I just feel really OK.

You said you had cancer twice. What happened?

1994 was a bad year. My husband's stepfather died and I was diagnosed with a malignant melanoma in January, malignant breast cancer in July. And then in the midst of all that, there was a water surge and our house flooded. I came home from work and I could hear water running. The second story collapsed onto the first story. One of our son's in law was managing a hotel not too far from where we lived, so we stayed there. Meanwhile, I was on chemo, sick, and bald. The melanoma -- I had two surgeries and felt like they got clear margins. The breast cancer was a Stage II and it spread to my lymph nodes. You don't ever beat breast cancer. They'll say you're cancer free if it's been five years, but breast cancer can come back anytime. It usually comes back in the brain or bones.

But you're not concerned.

No, I'm not.

HuffPost readers: Found the bright side of unemployment? Or are you in a tough spot without a clue what to do? Either way, we want to hear about it -- email [e-mail].

Comments

[1sparrow]

i spent my whole life working in malls and palaces. what is called retail. unemployed going on two years. every night i dream of being back at work. last night i dreamt of a hyper customer coming up to the third floor and saying "is that the credit dept."? before being able to answer she goes right over the four foot wall and to the first floor splat. my co-worker calls out "call 911". without hesitation i run to the pay phones in the lobby and dial 911. the point was as a dedicated employee--- i didn't look over the wall to see what the splat looked like. i was professional!

[NevaforLeadership]

Hi Dixie,

I am addressing you by name, as I am sure you are checking in to see the posts every now and then. I saw your photo and the headline for a few days before I clicked in. I am pleased I did, as your story is not just another story; it's a story of courage brings hope to us all.

Your closet clean-up was a great thing to do: cleaning out the past. Starting the new. It will be OK. As you move into what you love doing, you will find opportunities to earn money doing what you love to do in your own time -- not like before.

You have a family. You will be just fine, and I wish you the very best.

[bascombe]

let's hear it for making the best of the worst. kudos to so many of you.

[MissingAmerica]

I know where she's coming from. I developed the "perfect storm" of challenges a few years ago and lost everything -- and I mean EVERYTHING! I had worked hard and made good money and suddenly NOTHING! Now I view it as the best time of my life, although I could do without the pain of my challenges. I am more mobile thanks to less time glued to a desk and more time to spend in a pool; more relaxed thanks to less time fighting office politics and more time to do yoga, tai chi and reading; more time with my family and less time with people whom I would otherwise choose not to have in my life. There are advantages once you are able to distinguish what you actually own versus what owns you!

[veritas2u]

Shame is a tremendous problem associated with unemployment thanks to the establishment. In today's society you are either a winner or a loser. Your salary and your material possessions determines which group you fall into. Those unemployed who are able remain positive and happy undermine the winner/loser philosophy. More power to them. They could become a major political force by developing social networks, and by pooling together to make best use of their combined professional and intellectual resources. Hang in there. I have survived being unemployed for approximately 3 1/2 years out of the past 12 years. The current period being the happiest.

[Chaimirija]

Hey PC51, have you been posting from work? If so, you are guilty of stealing from your employer!!!! What department investigates that?

[jsgaetano]

It's called being "Funemployed"

[taoist]

I lost my job 2 plus months ago. I am in construction and find no joy in being out of work. I am 55 and have worked since i was 18. As one of the posters said they want to hire younger people. But i stay positive and thank GOD my wife works. She is a wonderful person! She would have to be to put with me. I pray for us all, Thanks!

[jsgaetano]

Men have a difficult time being out of work, since we often tend to identify our place in the world with our work.

The trick is to stay busy. If you are actually doing something, you won't think you are wasting your time.

I've had stints of unemployment myself. The first time I did it right- I started running and working out. The times after that weren't so good. I was also a consultant, but that kind of work situation doesn't go well with my personality- I prefer the stability of a regular paid position.

[NevaforLeadership]

Hi Taoist,

Tough thing to go through. Do stay positive. No more of "she would have to be to put [up] with me." Our self talk jeopardizes us more than we realize; each day we have to work at turning that around. What we think, we become. I am sure you pull more than your weight around your home, while she is working.

In the meantime, take advantage of your time (fitness and healthy eating). One of my fittest times was once when I was out of work: jogging or working out every morning without the pressure of having to get to work on time. (As I write this it occurs to me you are probably already really fit, working in construction.)

Ask yourself, "What is the worst that could happen?" The answer is usually not nearly as bad as we allow ourselves to imagine. With your experience in construction, I expect you could turn any worst-case scenario into a best-case scenario with self-employment. You don't say what kind of construction, but skills are transferable. The other side of the coin is that recessions always end. Construction will pick up again.

I wish you and your wife the very best.

[Chaimirija]

Attitudes like hers are a threat to the establishment. Most people work in fear of losing their jobs as it is.

[NevaforLeadership]

It is so true that most people fear losing their jobs -- even when they hate their jobs.

[Teritt]

Panetta stated " Let me be clear: It is not our policy or practice to mislead Congress."

Look at it this way, when you get in a vehicle you can say it isn't your policy or practice to wreck ..but wrecks happen.

[CitizenIndie]

There's the American spirit!
Someone not whining about Obama causing them to lose their job.
I hope you win the lottery or something too.

[skippyB]

I think she did win some sort of lottery. How refreshing! Is this what it will take for us to get a grip on values? I honestly do not think Americans would be any less productive - with more balance and time.

[Bluelynx]

There is no way to honestly put a positive spin on being unemployed. It's happened to me twice and I hated every minute of it. No income, no benefits, unbearable stress...the only good thing about unemployment is when it ends!

[NevaforLeadership]

I know it's difficult to see, with the stress, but unemployment can offer huge benefits. Life re-evaluation and different career and financial paths. Lots of time to get healthy and fit. Odd jobs (albeit not choice jobs) to keep the wolves away. I hope the latter is true.

The best.

[Bude]

Turning lemons into lemonade. Good for her!

[Wiseronenow]

It's all about balance. Yet, a majority of folks, as it sounds here, have "assumed" that the life they have become accustomed to was going to go on forever. Nothing is forever. The baby boomers are the ones that will suffer the greatest with this economic downturn. Part of the reason for that is not only the lifestyle they have mapped out for themselves, couple of new cars in the driveway, a larger house than they can afford, vacation homes, and other sundry "toys", they didn't want to see that all those GenX folks were going to one day be hired and quite possibly take over their jobs at a lower wage and with more education too. How many folks who assumed they were always going to be entitled to what they have turned away in the past from someone on a street corner asking for change? I bet a lot who have posted here.

[boogiewoman]

Here in Michigan a Irag Vet was living in a tent with his children at the stae park just a few minutes from me, he was cold got in his truck to get warm and fell asleep and hit the gear and rolled over his family 99,000 unemployed folks are going to fall off the rolls in January in the state of Michigan. So I can't find happiness in all of this.

[Christopher in NYC]

Life is short and then you die.....That is what it all boils down to....

[NevaforLeadership]

See if you can volunteer with the vets. If not happiness, that could bring great fulfilment.

The world owes the United States veterans an immeasurable debt of gratitude.