Down, Not Out: Unemployed And Happier Than Ever

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First Posted: 07- 9-09 02:10 PM   |   Updated: 08- 9-09 05:12 AM

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Dixie

Dixie Redfearn of Nevada City, Calif. wrote the Huffington Post to say her 30-year journalism career ended when she lost her job more than four months ago. "I'm 61 -- still too young for Social Security -- and could not afford COBRA, even at 65 percent off," she wrote. "My husband is a retired teacher. I have had cancer twice and am now uninsured."

But Redfearn isn't fazed, even though her job search has been futile. She wrote that she's relaxed 1,000 percent, gardened to her heart's content, read two or three books every week, and stepped up her fitness time. "In fact," she wrote, "I may be happier than I've ever been."

The Huffington Post called her up and asked her if she really is that happy.

I think I am. I'm at a good place in my life. I've done a lot of things. My husband and I have four children and nine grandchildren. Not having really had a significant break from work ever, it took about three months to sort of detox from the daily grind.

At the three-month point I sort of felt like, lighter. Emotionally, physically, mentally lighter. I felt like I'd made peace with everything. I was kind of in a group. A lot of my friends who were retired, the first thing they did when they were retired, they cleaned every closet in the house. I did that. We all have too much stuff.

How much unemployment insurance do you have left?

It currently says on my check 52 weeks from March. I think I probably will get an extension just because of the way the economy seems. I don't see anything looking up. Do you?

Not really. Do you worry at all?

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I don't worry. Isn't that weird? I feel like maybe I should. We've scaled back a little bit.

What about health insurance?

Why am I not worried about not having health insurance? I just feel like it's going to be OK. When I had health insurance I was paying a little over $200 every two-week paycheck and my copays for prescriptions were $30. When you don't have insurance, places like KMart and Wal-Mart and Target all offer generic medicine at a hugely reduced price. I'm getting a prescription for less than my copay was when I was paying all these hundreds of dollars for insurance.

Don't you ever just know that things are going to be OK? When you've had children and grandchildren and illness you just have a different perspective on life. I just feel really OK.

You said you had cancer twice. What happened?

1994 was a bad year. My husband's stepfather died and I was diagnosed with a malignant melanoma in January, malignant breast cancer in July. And then in the midst of all that, there was a water surge and our house flooded. I came home from work and I could hear water running. The second story collapsed onto the first story. One of our son's in law was managing a hotel not too far from where we lived, so we stayed there. Meanwhile, I was on chemo, sick, and bald. The melanoma -- I had two surgeries and felt like they got clear margins. The breast cancer was a Stage II and it spread to my lymph nodes. You don't ever beat breast cancer. They'll say you're cancer free if it's been five years, but breast cancer can come back anytime. It usually comes back in the brain or bones.

But you're not concerned.

No, I'm not.

HuffPost readers: Found the bright side of unemployment? Or are you in a tough spot without a clue what to do? Either way, we want to hear about it -- email arthur@huffingtonpost.com.

Dixie Redfearn of Nevada City, Calif. wrote the Huffington Post to say her 30-year journalism career ended when she lost her job more than four months ago. "I'm 61 -- still too young for Social Securi...
Dixie Redfearn of Nevada City, Calif. wrote the Huffington Post to say her 30-year journalism career ended when she lost her job more than four months ago. "I'm 61 -- still too young for Social Securi...
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- Teritt I'm a Fan of Teritt 9 fans permalink

I can't wait until I find the serenity in unemployment....I'm certainly not there. My unemployment is 1/5 of what my salary was. My house, car and other payments didn't go down to match. What was once my comfortable but not outlandish lifestyle is gone, and I'm afraid I'll never have it again.

I had never been laid-off in my life until I was 50 yrs old. My county has had the highest unemployment rate in the state all year. I look everyday at USAJobs.com. I look at the 3 local county government websites almost everyday (there are hiring freezes in most of them since real estate taxes aren't coming in). I check Monster, idealist, dice, workforce50, Right Mgmt sites, etc. I check the local banks sites, hospital sites, insurance companies etc. I've sent 100+ resumes (now on my third version of it). I check the paper. I apply for positions I don't qualify for - but I do not apply for minimum wage jobs as we can't afford to live on that AND it will effect the Social Security I receive for the rest of my life. This doesn't take 8 hrs/day since hardly anything ever changes.

My house is for sale, we lowered the price & offered a $5K bonus to the selling realtor. My husband sold his beloved 1958 Edsel stationwagon. My savings is running out. How can I find happiness in this? I only feel loss. And it's only been 4.5 months.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:42 AM on 07/10/2009
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Get up and do some volunteer work

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:57 AM on 07/10/2009
- escribacat I'm a Fan of escribacat 355 fans permalink
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Craigslist has a lot of job listings.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:04 AM on 07/10/2009
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The only way you can ever be happy is appreciate what you have today, and let tommorrow worry about itself.

And stop measuring yourself against others and what they have. Stop answering those questions about what is it you do? And think to yourself did the job ever define me? And you should reconsider applying for minimum wage jobs. You can't live on nothing, but you can live on a whole lot less then you think you can. And don't bank on ever receiving Social Security.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:08 AM on 07/10/2009
- pc51 I'm a Fan of pc51 17 fans permalink
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Oh please, woking a minimum wage job to tide you over will not affect your benefits much at this point, (age 50!) if at all, what a crock of whiney BS. Some income is better then no income. If you insist on only the best most cushy jobs, one that you can find while sitting on your tush in front of a computer screen, you probably deserve whatever happens.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:46 PM on 07/10/2009
- Teritt I'm a Fan of Teritt 9 fans permalink

Let me get this straight...you are saying that your earnings history has no bearing on your Social Security? And that unemployment benefits aren't supposed to 'tide you over' after working for almost 30 years and aren't earned? And exactly what do you recommend? Should a 50 yr old woman go to day labor jobsites or what? When was the last time you applied for a job? Do you even realize most governement websites prefer online applications? Your previous post states that you 'ferret out' these people in your state....does that mean you are a government worker in a cushy job?
And when it comes to 'deserving whatever happens', maybe karma will come knocking, and maybe your daughters will end up being Democrats due to your intolerant parenting.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 04:47 PM on 07/10/2009
- Chaimirija I'm a Fan of Chaimirija 56 fans permalink
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Like yours? You are at work right now (1.46 pm, on a weekday) trashing someone who lost their job, when in fact YOU SHOULD BE WORKING...they aren't paying you to surf the net, they are paying you to find all the scofflaws of the world!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:02 PM on 07/10/2009

Hi Teritt,

It is a real bumber to be laid off at over 50 years old, specially when the experience is new to you and you have expenses to cover.

A little advice for what it's worth: Eighty percent of jobs are not advertised. They are filled by word-of-mouth and networking. Eighty percent of the twenty percent that are advertised are filled through networking.

Online job sites can be an extremely frustrating way of finding a job. Job sites receive thousands and thousands of resumes each day -- many of them sent by people who already have jobs. Your resume becomes one amongst thousands languishing in databases, only pulled up if it contains the right key words, or if the HR procuring clerk understands its contents.

Low-paying temporary jobs will affect your social security, but won't no job affect it more? Temp jobs can be an excellent way of networking yourself into a permanent properly paying job (with your social security contributions back to normal).

I know what you mean by resumes. Another bumber, as each resume has to be tailored to the job. Creating an excel spreadsheet or word document (for easy copying) with all your jobs, dates, accomplishments and other relevant information, can help enormously by allowing you to quickly cut and paste as you go through the hassle of tailoring your resume.

The very best to you and your husband. It will turn out OK. It always does.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:33 PM on 07/12/2009

I am 63 and live in the Netherlands. I was more or less forced out of my job because younger people wanted to move up. Here, even the most menial job people get a 'goldenhandshake'.

In my case I got 30,000 Euros and 2000 Euros a month takehome until I reach age 65. Then my SS and pensions take over.

I thought I would miss work but I don't miss sitting in autobahn tieups 2 hours a day, less stress and actually have MORE money now than when I was working due to less expenditures.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 07:52 AM on 07/10/2009
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Thank you for sharing. I understand what you are saying by the 'goldenhandshake'! I am 65 work as hard or harder than my younger counterparts but feel am discriminated against because of my age. It's very discouraging.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:19 AM on 07/10/2009

I could have never gotten a deal like that when I lived in the USA (30 years). I wouldn't go back there now for a million bucks , even to visit. Don't miss it one bit.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:32 AM on 07/10/2009
- escribacat I'm a Fan of escribacat 355 fans permalink
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Sounds pretty good. Much more civilized than what would happen in the States.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:03 AM on 07/10/2009

That is one of the reasons why right of centre policital parties in European countries are gaining popularity.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:35 PM on 07/12/2009

For me being unemployed has been the greatest and worst thing to happen all rolled into one. I have been able to focus on my daughters health issues and there are alot of them. Had I been employed I would have either been fired for all the Dr's appt. or not been able to get to the bottom of her problems. I am also broke my 401K is gone, COBRA is too expensive according to BCBS I don't qualify for the 65% stimulus payment since the company I worked for had less than 20 people employed. I am trying to stay positive and do things that I have always wanted to do more gardening, sewing and reading but it is tough.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 07:33 AM on 07/10/2009
- pc51 I'm a Fan of pc51 17 fans permalink
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What they don't say is that this woman is very clearly violating employment law. Unemployment benefits come from a huge tax that is levied on all employers and the deal that you sign up for when you get this money is a contractual committment (state and federal legal mandates) to search diligently for work like it is a full-time job. That means getting out there everyday and doing whatever it takes to secure a paying position. It does not mean a few half-hearted stabs at a couple of job websites everyday or sending out old resumes for jobs that you are clearly unqualified for. It is lazy, dishonest, and mocks the intent of the law. It used to be that only real losers behaved like this, but now we are seeing what middle-class America is really made of. No wonder they were the first ones to be layed off.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:55 PM on 07/10/2009
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Nauseating. In my socialist utopia this woman would be punished pretty harshly for this. And f**k off with your "well she never said she ISN'T looking for work, so there" bullsh*t. She is having a really good relaxing time, reading 3 books PER WEEK, gardening to her HEART'S CONTENT. Being unemployed should not be any less stressful than working (that is if you're collecting unemployment benefits). It too is supposed to be a full-time job, and I doubt any body loves looking for work 8 hours a day, so therefore it shouldn't be 1000% more relaxing than a real job. I hope she gets investigated. It's people like this that ruin the welfare and unemployment system, and give the right-wing fodder for their attacks. I don't care if you attack me for this, you're pathe.tic too.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 05:09 AM on 07/10/2009
- Wiseronenow I'm a Fan of Wiseronenow 111 fans permalink
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I can tell you this much, when and if she finds work, I'd bet you, she'd be hired over you if for nothing else her attitude and undoubtedly on the first day on the job she'd be ready to work Vs yourself you'd need a few days to grouse with your new work force how rough you've had it. Welcome to the club and get over it.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:59 AM on 07/10/2009
- Halsey I'm a Fan of Halsey 34 fans permalink
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Wiser..I totally agree...the alwaysrightleftist has shown what a crumudeon s/he (guessing he) is...Bude wrote.."she's making lemonade"...and that is how I have look at life....I know I'm going to be laid off..and it's to the point (after applying for soooo many in house posted positions and getting form letter e-mail...um..nope)....that I want it over...that will FORCE me to make a change..I deplore my business(financial services)..it's so corrupt...I'd love to OUT all the a-holes.ANd
like Dixie..I too had aggressive cancer...ergo..uninsurable...and I'm 54..not exactly prime..but.. I (maybe the cancer did it)..realize...we could all go tomorrow....so what can I do today..that will not only make me want to get up in the morning..but also..give something back. Me thinks Dixie (flood and all)...has a home that's paid for..I rent...but by Gawd...I WANT to enjoy life at least MOST of the time..not live for the paycheck..and I think with the right attitude, a LOT of luck and many many versions of resumes...I may just end up doing something I enjoy (yes..for less money)...but so many die rich.we all die...it's how we LIVE...

hats off to Dixie and her marvelous attitude..... for me "if" cancer comes back...I'll just try to make sure I'm on lots of drugs...treatment..once, okay...but that's it....

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:04 AM on 07/10/2009

If she's got grandchildren, she's hardly at the age range that employers look for--they want the experience, but they don't want to pay for it. And I'll bet they're wondering what kind of drain she'd represent on the company insurance program since legally, they can't ask ...

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:35 AM on 07/10/2009
- escribacat I'm a Fan of escribacat 355 fans permalink
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Punished for what? For not having a nervous breakdown?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:07 AM on 07/10/2009
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WHEN Corporations begin to ship jobs to China back in early 2002, I got lay off and it was the best thing ever. It give me wings to fly, in the process I discover determination and talents I had no idea I possessed! Became a real estate agent, start a few businesses and never look back since!!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 05:07 AM on 07/10/2009
- pc51 I'm a Fan of pc51 17 fans permalink
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Now that's what I'm talking about! Congrats on your moxy!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 02:02 PM on 07/10/2009

That's great, InfosolutionWiz.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:38 PM on 07/12/2009

I've been unemployed since April. It's been heaven.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 02:14 AM on 07/10/2009
- pc51 I'm a Fan of pc51 17 fans permalink
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Enjoy while you can, deadbeat. Unemployment law requites you to look for a job like that is your full-time job, not lull around in the clouds sucking off the system. Typical liberal "free lunch" don't bother to carry your own weight.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 04:13 PM on 07/10/2009
- Wiseronenow I'm a Fan of Wiseronenow 111 fans permalink
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The solution, if there is one, I believe rests in simplicity of point of view. Not simple m/i/n/d/e/d/n/e/s/s, mind you, but reducing all things you see to their simplest genuine elements. Are people h/u/n/g/r/y? Are people s/i/c/k? Does what we encounter in our individual experience with our fellow man imply social justness? Then take some small but very immediate action. In other words, being in the moment and negotiating the world from the standpoint of that very moment -- because that's the way life happens to us. And it is the tiniest momentary decisions, that, when added up, determine what our lives are. So, my motto has become, 'live simply and do what feels right'.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:42 AM on 07/10/2009
- Wiseronenow I'm a Fan of Wiseronenow 111 fans permalink
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Part 2

The solution, if there is one, I believe rests in simplicity of point of view. Not simple mindedness, mind you, but reducing all things you see to their simplest genuine elements. Are people hungry? Are people sick? Does what we encounter in our individual experience with our fellow man imply social justness? Then take some small but very immediate action. In other words, being in the moment and negotiating the world from the standpoint of that very moment -- because that's the way life happens to us. And it is the tiniest momentary decisions, that, when added up, determine what our lives are. So, my motto has become, 'live simply and do what feels right'.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:40 AM on 07/10/2009
- Wiseronenow I'm a Fan of Wiseronenow 111 fans permalink
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Part 1

I've been unemployed since January 25, 2009. I consistently apply for jobs, but so far no luck. Yet, I had more a/n/x/i/e/t/y previously when I was transitioning, by choice, from one job to another. Now, I have this s/t/r/o/n/g/e/r belief that things will turn out fine, maybe later rather than sooner, but that they will. I spend most of my time engaged in getting my house in order, helping others, walking my dogs, listening to music, reading and contemplating. The rest in my life, before I was l/a/i/d off, I've come to realize are all m/i/n/d/l/e/s/s d/i/s/t/r/a/c/t/i/o/ns I do not need or want anymore. The Buddhists have it right, possessions and attachments lead only to s/u/f/f/e/r/i/n/g. Less IS more and I'm happier for it.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:39 AM on 07/10/2009
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Working tends to be a drain on happiness, so no big surprise here.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:39 AM on 07/10/2009
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Not everyone can afford to be happy they are unemployed.

It is good she has finished raising her children and is close to retirement and Medicare age, both of which must make it much easier.

I wish her well, and all the others like her, and it could just as well be me next in that position.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:21 AM on 07/10/2009
- Adartist777 I'm a Fan of Adartist777 110 fans permalink
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This woman has had a tough time, yet she keeps her spirits up. We could all learn something from her.

I'm 54 and I've been unemployed since 2007. Even though I have many job skills and apply at several different potential employers each week, I have gotten nowhere. My skills range from computer print graphic arts to house painting. There is nothing out there. Even our local Wal-Mart has a waiting list.

I believe it's tougher out there in the job market for older workers. Especially when you are competing with young workers. Young workers don't have the potential increased insurance costs to a company that older workers may have. Yet, we have valuable experience that could enrich a company. When I was younger, I used to go to older workers for advice on the job. They were a valuable commodity to me at that time. But the job market is so tight right now, that even many younger people are having a difficult time finding work. It's tough to reinvent yourself, but I'm making the attempt by applying for jobs that offer on the job training. But once again, the young prevail.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:41 AM on 07/10/2009

I have no problem with this article. Per my comments throughout, I can relate. The only problem I have is the title: 'Down, not out: Unemployed and happier than ever.' The first part is fine. The second part, however, may have inspired some rather presumptive comments by some who have apparently interpreted it to mean this person is getting a free ride and is milking the system. I don't know if changing the title would have resulted in a different more supportive tone, but the tone that certain of the comments do have are very abusive, hostile, and antagonistic. Anything but an adult discourse about the merits and non-merits of the story. Just thought I'd mention it. Thanks

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:36 AM on 07/10/2009
- pc51 I'm a Fan of pc51 17 fans permalink
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Tell it to the judge. Employment law requires people to use the time they are being given free benefits to look diligently for a job, 40 hours a week. Not "garden to their hearts content." Look it up, there is no "presumption" about it. It is the "entitlement" attitute that is just as responsible for the mess the country is in as any big bad corporate boss.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 04:18 PM on 07/10/2009

i think the woman in nv. gives all unemployed folks something to think about. last year, when i was unemployed, i discovered how helpful it was simply...to smile. i kept telling myself that things might get a lot worse; i could lose the house! so i better enjoy today. this year, unemployed again (i have decided that the state in which i live and for which i worked twice, is not a reliable employer!) i am trying to remember this on a daily basis. unfortunately, since i haven't worked all that much, my unemp. checks are quite small and will not, i think last a full year. (and, yes, i AM looking for work.) i have rented out a room in my house and am just trying to get by. but more than 'getting by' i am trying to love life every day. if u work at it---and u have to work at it--it does get easier.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:11 PM on 07/09/2009
- Artemis34 I'm a Fan of Artemis34 199 fans permalink
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Hang in there!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:15 PM on 07/09/2009

I can so relate. The easing of the weight of just getting up 5 days a week for 8-10 hours (sometimes more) every day is miraculous. It's wonderful not working for someone else's benefit for the minimum pay they can get away with paying you. I too should be worried about insurance, but I understand how easy it is to just add it to a long list of things I've spent over 30 years worrying about 24/7. I was so conditioned to working that when I became disabled, I at first felt guilty. No longer. Working hard is just not what it's cracked up to be. We're not all so fortunate to know exactly what we want to do for a career, or even a job. Every year we spend performing a task we hate because of this sad fact, was another year wasted, another year where we lost the ability to enjoy life. Another thing, I have been disabled for over two years, and other than my disability, I haven't been sick a day (one very minor case of the flu that I hardly noticed). Conversely, when I worked I could not get through a year without getting sick with one thing or the other--sometimes so severely I should have stayed home but didn't because of more guilt. I always felt like I was doing something wrong anytime I called in sick--no, I don't miss it one bit.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:49 PM on 07/09/2009
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