What Does Cheating Mean To You?

examiner.com:

Many people wonder what true infidelity is in a relationship. At what stage is the person being unfaithful. If you are not married, is it okay to have affairs with others?

The definition of infidelity in the dictionary is: "marital unfaithfulness or an instant of it." Interesting though that there is another definition which is "lack of belief in a religion." For some, marriage is bonded by religion and many people belief that being unfaithful is an act against God.

Read the whole story: examiner.com

Comments

[sweetwhine]

Cheating is a deal breaker. Period.

[Truth4Voters]

Agreed.

[condor101]

I believe that if you don't make promises and you are clear with your partner, and if you have sexual relations with other people, it's not cheating.
I make it clear that I'm dating other people and that I like open relationships. On the safe side, I record these conversations (Because few things are worse than the scorn of a woman).
I believe that a majority of women yearn for a monogomous relationship. However, if the Man is not making promises and is clear that he likes to go out and keep an open relationship, then he is NOT cheating when he sleeps with other women. He is not being dishonest and he has a right to be pursue any relationship he desires.

The negative effects of marriage is that a Man gets entangled in a legal noose around their neck and wallet. If a man has an affair, his wife can sue the pants out of him and his girlfriend, ruining them financially.

I think it's better to find a partner you really love and care about (and vice-versa, of course), and live together. If it works out, great. If it doesn't , then both can separate and you don't have to pay a couple of expensive lawyers and get a judge involved to decide on the division of your individual wealth. To heck with the system of Marriage; It's a Lottery for women, and a potential financial ruin for Men.

Good luck All!!!!

[sweetwhine]

Do us woman all a favor. Please stay single. Geez.

[Truth4Voters]

You record the conversation? What the...

[Pippen]

I "cheated". Though I'm not sure why the term cheated is used. Cheated sounds like you broke a rule and won.

Am I habitual ? No. It was the only long term relationship where I strayed.

What happen ? I married my teenage heart throb after not seeing her for many years. We were married for about 7 years. 3 years into the marriage while I was overseas (Navy assignment) I became overwhelmed by a French woman.

I decided to tell my wife in advance -

Bad idea. 1.) She blessed my new intrigue and 2.) said drop it when I return from the cruise. Which did happen but I didn't really want to drop the relationship. But I did. However my wife never did drop anything and told her entire family without my knowledge. They treated me courteously but ...spoke bad about me when I left the room.

But in that experience I learned that there were gaps of feelings and I didnt fully know my wife. I may have made a huge error in judgement. Too late, I was already married. So now what ? We tried to make a life but a few years later we divorced. My choosing.

Looking back now many years later I know I didnt cheat. My heart simply wasn't settled on my wife and I should have never married.

Okay, bring on the painful posts to follow. I'll be glad to regurgitate any details for your analysis.

[Norge]

You sound very hard on yourself and it very well may be that what you did gave your wife the excuse she needed to say fairwell to you.
She wanted to hurt you so told her whole family so as to reduce you in their eyes.
We do not intentionally hurt that which we love.

You certainly have been through a terribly painfull experience and now you need to forgive yourself and move on.

Have a nice day and find a new friend.

[daisydukes]

If a guy cheats on me, trust is gone and he is out on his behind..sorry. I cannot stand the insecure losers who is stuck somewhere at age14 in their development. The sad thing is many of these guys are bigshot executives whether it be in hospitals, law firms, ad companies etc. and dont' get me started on politicians.... When these guys hit on me, I can't help but think of their misses waiting at home and disgust fills me. Life is too short to have to spend it with "second hand" goods.

[mamacat]

There is a great series on cheating and the rationalizations involved on the Rachel Maddow show. It didn't start off as a series, but it has turned into one. Anyway, there are a whole bunch of Republicans belonging to something called the C Street Church, in Washington D.C., who have adopted a morality that says they can do whatever they want to, because they are the chosen leaders of the world, or some such idiocy. It is a real hoot to watch. Thank God the GOP is no longer in power!

[LordMoon]

Every so often I like to watch "Cheaters", everyone on that show knows exactly what cheating is.

Yet, few people seem to know, when confronted, exactly why they cheated.

It may well be that cheating, is one of those things, like sleep, music, or dreams, that we will never fully understand about ourselves.

We presupose that we are rational, reasonable beings, who make conscious rational choices about ourselves, yet daily we find out we are not.

Its the illusions that we carry around about ourselves that always lead to troubling contradictions.

Love is most definately not a possession, but a gift recived with graditude, and mourned appropriately when lost.

[Norge]

I can imagine cheating would result in anxiety and greater anxiety coupled with stress for those not sociopaths.

Certainly not healthy for the heart.

[yellowdoggie]

Wow. For such a lame article, there are a lot of posts already. This is a topic that people really care about. I guess.

[BlackYowe]

Cheating is cheating. Its dishonest and unkind. Anyone who cheats on you is selfish and can't really care much about you if they could be so cold hearted. The other person usually does find out.

[ReasonIsMyReligion]

WHAT a LAME-O link.

Why not just link to Cosmo?

Sheesh.

[JAforObama]

Once a cheat, always a cheat. And once a person has had an affair in a marriage, the trust is never gained back. It isn't worth staying married is one has an affair, I don't care how many times they say they are sorry. They are sorry until you give in, then they do it again. Then they are sorry again. Just get out.

[Golfer59]

Cheating means sleeping next to my wife with one eye open

[Furby]

I don't cheat and I don't make promises I can't keep, which means I don't make promises at all. Marriage is for people who "fall in love" and feel insecure about need the contract, whether it's worth the paper it's written on or not. I know people who have been together a long time without marriage, kids and all. But they were the lucky few. The met the love of their life so being faithful came naturally.

[ReasonIsMyReligion]

With all due respect:

a) Cheating is not only about marital relationships.

b) Many people find themselves cheated on by the "love of their lives." Further, I dare say the cheat-ER may even have felt that way about partner pre-cheat.

c) Your concept of what kind of folk get married is simply off-base -- characiturizing them as either love-birds OR insecure.

[Dolmance]

I don't cheat. I don't have any time because I can't imagine being married and not having relations at least twice a day, every day until death do us part.

But if I did cheat, I sure wouldn't admit it to my spouse. People who do that aren't trying to be honest. They're trying to vent some guilt and seem to have an unconscious need to hurt their partner. It's ridiculous.

[TiredandPragmatic]

Wow, you don't speak for everyone and don't pretend you do. The thing about armchair psychology is that it's worth about as much as the armchair you're sitting in. If you haven't cheated then you don't know what it feels like, so you are obviously not speaking from experience.

Cheating is not always about "relations," it can have emotional causes from the relationship or from childhood. It can be the result of trauma. It can be the result of any number of factors. It's not about just about libido, it's a complex process.

And unless you are a magickal mind-reader, you cannot tell me or anyone else what our unconscious needs or intentions are toward anyone. I personally believe that telling your partner or not is something left to the individual situation. True repentance and sincere desire for reconciliation in a relationship can have a great deal of value to both partners.

[Chaimirija]

I think you may have a point about confessing.