Living Together Before Tying The Knot Can Spoil Marriage

LiveScience:

Couples who shack up before tying the knot are more likely to get divorced than their counterparts who don't move in together until marriage, a new study suggests.

Upwards of 70 percent of U.S. couples are cohabiting these days before marrying, the researchers estimate. The study, published in the February issue of the Journal of Family Psychology, indicates that such move-ins might not be wise.

Read the whole story: LiveScience

Comments

[kroltan]

BS - Lived together for 3 years, married for 7 and our marriage keeps getting happier, healthier & sexier with age! So phbbbbbbbtttt!

[lholguin]

I disagree. Infact i think you need to live together so you learn what your getting into.... There are things a person has just got to know... you learn so much about a person when you live with them. Like any weird OCD tendencies ect.

[YetAnotherReader]

Chicken and egg problem.

Are the marriages less successful because living together reduces the chance of success?

Or, are they less successful because people who choose to live together are somehow more likely to have unsuccessful marriages?

It's like the statistic about "married people are happier, healthier, and wealthier than single people." That stat is used to argue for marriage, but if you were looking get married, would you choose somebody who was sad, sick, and broke?

[wedgie]

Actually, living together after your wedding can also spoil your marriage.

It sure f**ked mine up.

**

[Hilodave]

Let me see...I had 5 steady girlfriends before marriage. LIved 3 1/2 years with the first before our life goals split us apart. 4 years together on 2nd through and after college, I was 6 years older, she got $lutty and played around and really wasn't ready to settle down..... broke my heart. Then two long distance relationships that went on for a couple of years while I was building my career. Then finally lived together for 2 years before getting married at 35 to my current wife of 26 years. I figured I saved myself from at least two divorces by really getting to know and love my companions for who they are...oh and $lutty ex we stay in casual contact though friends and she has two grown children with her husband of 28 years.
Maybe us 60's kids worked through these relationship issues by experiencing a broader lifestyle.

[Mnemanth]

I've got to get my hands on some government grant money. These so called "studies" are incredibly lame and so obviously directed for a purpose. Collect your grant money, and spew out whatever it is you're told to say.
Living together prior to marriage is a spoiler? Ridiculous notion.

[RuthlessDictator]

Usually this marriage "research" is just plain sloppy because NOBODY seems to question it.

[marijam]

What a bunch of hooey. I've been married 30+ years and we lived together first.

[gemzenith]

maybe marriage spoils living together...

[condor101]

Absurd and Untrue Title and Article.
Of course people should live together if they love one another and want to know one another better and share more time together.
Marriage is a money making scam for wedding planners and divorce lawyers. It's a fact that 70% of marriages end in divorce court.
How many un-married relationships that terminate, end up in divorce court? NONE
When you live together, you share and learn about one another. If it doesn't work out, both people can separate amicably with each of their own possessions intact.

Since I own my home; If I were to be married and then later we filed for divorce, as a male I would be forced out of my home and in a divorce proceeding I can lose 1/2 of my house, business, and the rest of my wealth. Is this fair? NO
It's because a marriage certificate is a legal agreement and the only way to break it is in court, with a judge deciding on my property and wealth rights. It's a scam. No Thank You.

I'll live with my girlfriend. I don't need a marriage certificate to validate my love for another person. And if in some years it doesn't work out, we separate, and without a court system making judgements on our rights on individual wealth and possessions.

[brooklyncitizen]

who are you trying to convince?ever heard of a pre-nup?

[marijam]

No. Marriage is a life-time commitment. A pre-nup gives a way out before you've gone in, so to speak.

[SKonnery]

In some states if you live together long enough you are in the eyes of the law married.

[Pupadup4oBama]

For us it just seemed a natural progression from living together to marriage.

[peskime]

Absurd. I've been married for 21 years and my husband and I lived together before making that leap.
Sounds like some sort of religious crap to me.....

[WRPrintz]

This article is absurd.

[vyfareon]

We won't buy a car without a test drive, so why would you enter into a contract to spend the rest of your life with someone without a trial period? People can be very different when you live with them.

I lived with my current (and only) spouse for 2 years before we got married. Not sure if we will make it though, we've only been married for 27 years at this point.

I don't think its about the pre-marital cohabitation. People change over time and you have to be willing to change with them and they need to be willing to change with you. Sometimes you can't or don't want to. But if you can, it can be very rewarding.

[brooklyncitizen]

stakes are higher and therefore incentive increases when you are married.
people are not cars that need to be test-driven.

[marijam]

Oh, really? Ever had a man hit you?

[tbone99]

This poll does not reflect the fact that people who don't live together are probably of the more traditional type that don't believe in divorce -

[marijam]

That's not true. You do not need a piece of paper in order to make a commitment, nor do you need to be practicing a religion. In fact, the highest divorce rates are amongst those who are so-called religious.