Sarah Palin Now Just Twittering About Bears

Ever since Sarah Palin decided to quit her job as governor of Alaska, so that she could experience the difference-making me-time that would restore America to greatness, people have wondered what she will do next, career-wise. Become the Red State Oprah? Run for President? Flip flop on Cap and Trade? She's just so inscrutable! The one thing that she made clear, however, was that she was going to continue to use Twitter to send random thoughts out into the ether. Lately, she's been burning a hole in Wikiquote, but yesterday, she abruptly started tweeting about bears. And if you look past the surface, a whole world of subtext is revealed, which we have happily translated.

Great day w/bear management wildlife biologists; much to see in wild territory incl amazing creatures w/mama bears' gutteral raw instinct to

"The animal kingdom! Whose denizens know that if they so much as even dream about slapping me with an ethics violation I will turn them into a throw rug."

protect & provide for her young; She sees danger?She brazenly rises up on strong hind legs, growls Don't Touch My Cubs & the species survives

"Suck it, media! That will teach Shannyn Moore to blog about bears! Also: I am responsible for the survival of the human race, now."

& mama bear doesn't look 2 anyone else 2 hand her anything; biologists say she works harder than males, is provider/protector for the future

"Yeppers! Me and these ladybears are goin' Galt!"

Yes it was another outstanding day in AK seeing things the rest of America should see; applicable life lessons we're blessed to see firsthand

"I believe that the best of America is in these bears, which we get to visit, and in these wonderful little pockets of bear-dung, what I call the real America, the pro-America areas of this great nation. Sigh. Maybe we will just secede from the Union! You don't know!"

Anyway, in response to all of the attention they have received, all the bears quit their jobs today.

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Comments

[rj0q1b]

Pitbull wth lipstick is now the poodle with lip gloss all bark and no bite

[rj0q1b]

Palin twittering all day isn't that the same as the bloggers sitting in the basement of their parents home without anything to do all day. Palin asked Alaskans to hold her accountable and when they did she vot out the kitchen

[rj0q1b]

THE EX THRILLA FROM WASILLA IS NOW A BITTER QUITTER ON TWITTER

[fedupinfla]

hehehe

good one!!!

[thrugreeneyez]

The part about the bears quitting is my favorite.

If Sarah appreciates bears so much, why does she enjoy gunning them down from helicopters? I think she is sociopathic.

[AkashicRecords]

shoot a muthah humpin moose eight days a week, cuz I'm an animal! An Animal! And I'm coming for you. All the mavericks in the house put your hands up. All the plumbers in the house pull your pants up!

Amy Poehler is AWESOME

[SimianNation]

"I am responsible for the survival of the human race, now."

Hahahhah... She better get into that Alaskan saloon and get working.

[IhaveaDREAMwhitegirl]

The ex-FirstDude is not going to give Greta anymore pay-for-interview statements after this dressing down from the 'Female-Mo­mma-Bear".

[Godiva]

While she is working on reading materials so she can intensify her bona fides, she should be reading the history of the United States. These appear to be messages to the media et. al. regarding leaving her children alone. I suggest she return to school completely and study political science, as my money is on, her returning to the political scene. She's tasted the big city and the bright lights and she's not walking away from all of that this easy. Don't be fooled...

[bluto392]

"Gutteral" doesn't mean what she thinks it means...

[Havnagudtim]

Hey! What, are you some kind of English-speaking language-person? She is a degreed journalism major, 'gutteral' means whatever she THINKS it means. After all, usage determines correctness. As far as she knows, semantics is a Native tribe.

[Brightlight]

Did she start the blog with, "Once upon a time"?

[ALittleClarity]

OMG. The Obsession with Palin. I never looked at her tweets but this made me. Read all the tweets surrounding this and it would make more sense to you. Seriously You Libs really have no satiation for your Vitriol. Try elevating the conversation. Isn't that what our President would want? Jason.. You are better than this.

[KillgoreTrout43]

As long as Palin keeps clamoring for the limelight, we will be here to expose her for what she is.....a phony.

[ALittleClarity]

Does she follow the cameras or do the cameras follow her. Think about it.

[Bai]

SP understands bear talk: "growls, Don't Touch My Cubs & the species survives." And evolution: a cat "brazenly rises up on strong hind legs and growls, Don't Touch My Kittens," the species will survive.

[SmolderingRuin]

She would make a nice rug herself.

[indy girl]

Twitter McQuittypants thinks she's being soooo clever with her messages....maybe she'll tweet about the mama bear who adopted a cub from one of her own offspring.

[moongal6]

Is it July 26th yet?

[Toxictort]

My birthday's on the 27th. What a nice gesture for her to give me such a great gift.

[Bai]

She will continue to tweet after July 26. Yes! This will be much fun. SP is the Theater of the Absurd incarnate.

[ForVivi]

I find this article u-n-b-e-a-­r-a-b-l-e!

[papajoemama]

She tweets about bears and you find the time to write an entire article on it and bring it into focus...why do you do that?

[newhouse1]

That is hilarious and a great question. Mr. Linkins, me thinks you're trying to make bricks without straw.