President Obama will never satisfy the conspiracy theorists who don't believe he is a citizen of the United States, White House spokesman Robert Gibbs said on Monday, "because for 15 dollars you can get an Internet address and say whatever you want."
In the most impassioned part of his daily press briefing, Gibbs insisted that there was no way to put the so-called "birther" issue to rest.
"The God-honest truth is no," he said. "And I almost hate to indulge in such an august setting as the White House briefing room, and I mean this seriously, discussing the made up, fictional, nonsense of whether or not the president was born in this country. A year and a half ago I asked that the birth certificate be put on the Internet because lord knows if you have a birth certificate and put it on the Internet, what else could be the story?"
"Nothing will assuage them," the press secretary added. "But there are 10,000 more important issues for people in this country to discuss."
"Like violations of the constitution," longtime White House correspondent Helen Thomas interjected. Gibbs ignored her.
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