Getting Hitched? A Bad Start To A Marriage Can Be A Good Sign

TIME:

Few couples would choose to marry during periods of severe relationship stress, but then, trials come unexpectedly -- you can't plan for layoffs, illness or a raging wildfire that forces a change in wedding venue 24 hours before the big event. That bad start, however, can have benefits. While an abundance of research shows that stressful life events often amplify a couple's problems -- turning a husband's short temper into abuse, for example -- and increase the likelihood of divorce, studies also show that hardship can have an upside. For some couples, it's protective, helping solidify their commitment into an unshakable us-vs.-the-world resolve. Data from the Great Depression suggest, for instance, that economic adversity held many couples together. "Those families who were cohesive before the Depression, they banded together as a team and really became more cohesive in dealing with the economic crisis," says Gottman -- surely good news for the untold numbers of newlyweds who have faced job loss or foreclosure in the past year.

Read the whole story: TIME

Comments

[mredder4]

Dan Savage says it much better: "Every relationship you have will fail, until you find one that doesn't." Or something to that effect. Rosy start, rocky start, blind date, best friends since grade school, same age, May-December, it doesn't matter. There's no guide or rule book for something this individual and personal. Articles like these are a joke and a waste of time.

[Pippen]

HuffPost's Pick

Love is worth it but marriage is craptastic.

Two years after my divorce I met a woman that sent chills down my spine. She was gorgeous, smart, a big smart ass, a huge laugh and a poignant wit. She was no bathing beauty, her hair like a rock star, she had hobbit feet and waddled when she walked. She detested physical exercise but could dance til the sun came up. Her eyes were alive and bright and gleemed when she smiled. She was moved to tears around small pets and loved animals more than she cared for humans.

When she walked into the room, my heart would beat faster. I was terrified of her and couldnt take my eyes off her or wait til she spoke. She could have asked me to scale a mountain and before I started complaining I would be half way up the side of it. I took great pleasure in creating small nuances to our every day life, notes in her purse, pillow, car. She nearly fainted at the sight of flowers and I drowned her in them every chance I got just to see her fluster.

I was lucky. I had never known love til I met this woman. She passed away after 10 years together and the loss almost killed me. Now I count myself as one of a rare few who found something that is mysteriously veiled from us and I my heart smiles.

Love is worth it.

[Pippen]

I kinda like it.

I have some advice for would be contenders of love just starting out and wondering if their endeavor is worth it or if it will last.

1.) Marriage isn't worth it. Love is worth it. Everything else is window dressing for your friends.

2.) You NEVER really know somone and the closests you ever will is if something tragic happens to one of you and serious decisions and support are needed to endure it. THEN you learn about someone, when the chips are down.

Trust me when I say, going shopping at the mall isn't a good test of love. Your love must see some form of challenge before you know that your right for each other.

3.) If something bizarre happens at the wedding or leading up to the wedding - BAIL OUT !!! Turn it into a party for everyone and just wait til harmony has regained its hold. Every marriage I know where something wierd and disasterous has happened ended in a tragic divorce shortly afterwards.

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[chevlikis]

"Brilliant" Please tell me the writer did not get paid for this ounce of drivel?!