Jennifer Lopez: Relationships Take Work, Motherhood Changes Everything

Jennifer Lopez, who turned 40 in July, covers the massive, 15th-Anniversary September issue of InStyle. Inside she talks about motherhood, love and getting older.

On life with twins, Max and Emme, age 18 months:

"There's nothing as huge as giving birth to another human being and having to be responsible for another life. There's you before kids, and there's you after kids - and they're not the same you."

On taking a break from the spotlight:

"I'm at a point in my life when I just don't feel the need to put out anything unless I totally, absolutely feel it says what I want to say."

On her five-year marriage to Marc Anthony:

"I believe that in life you learn through experience. I'm old enough to know now that relationships take work. That's it's not an easy thing."

Comments

[Peaceisnecessary]

In order to have fruitful relationships one must work at them -- this include relatives, friends, mates, co-workers, etc. Sometimes when we are young we think we are going to find that perfect person to be with, but you have to work with whatever mate you end up with because you are not going to agree on everything. I understand what Jennifer is saying. It takes maturity to realize that we have to work on all our relationships whether we have to call relatives on a regular basis, be thoughtful enough to remember a co-workers birthday, etc.

[KinkyGirl]

On a more frivolous note, isn't the dress she wears on the cover just chic?

[Morganster]

After marrying a serial impregnator, she's surprised that she needs to work at the relationship?

I wish her and her husband well, but she should be wise to remember that "past history dictates future behavior."

[Joye]

To be honest, I didn't used to like Jennifer. But seeing how she puts her kids first, unlike a lot of celebs, I have a huge amount of respect for her. You go, girl!

[TXfemmom]

Marriage is a job, and one has to work with it to keep it developing and to keep it fresh and fulfilling. People change, relationsips change, and people have to put in energy to adjust to those changes.

[usdiso]

JLo is HOT: http://www.actressscene.com/search/label/Jennifer%20Lopez

[andj]

more spam and links with viruses

[kdoww]

There are no virus there. It is fine.

[Truth789]

I know what is with all the haters on this blog?

[highd]

What does "working on a marriage" mean. I have been married for 15 years and I even think I have broken a sweat to work on anything. My husband and I don't believe in divorce and both felt the need to find "Mr. and Mrs Right" so we didn't need to work and jump through hoops. Also we married very young. I was 20 and he was 23 so I honestly can't relate to the notion of "working on a marriage".

[LinLin16]

just because you got lucky that you married young and the match has been sustainable does not give you the right to be condescending at everyone else who married for love but has found it difficult to merge two lives together. congratulations but save the judgement.

[highd]

I just don't get why you don't live your lives and forget about the buzz words. Merging two lives. Really. Marriage isn't tough. Marriage is fun, amazing, and something that if you have to work at you might have picked the wrong person. That is why finding the right person to marry is the most important part of marriage.

Again all this work talk seems very very silly to me. It all seems like excuses and asking for problems, if fissures arise deal with them and move on.

[KinkyGirl]

Lucky you. I am happily married but, hey, it took me some time to tame my husband.

[duncansdad]

I'm at a point in my life when I just don't feel the need to put out anything unless I totally, absolutely feel it says what I want to say."

Jello- Hold onto that thought for a good long time. Really long.

[Ihaveadream]

JLo: My job is creating relationships that make me MONEY. I even got $millions for the photos of my kids

[coco51]

I doubt the magazines are crying. If there weren't readers to lure with the pics they wouldn't have paid nor would they stalk the "celebrity." Halle took what she thought was the high road and now she's mad as hell because she get's no break. The paps feel that she gave them carte blanche to stalk her and family so much so that her 18 month old daughter is scared of the paps.

[Ihaveadream]

What's Halle got to do with this? Halle actually has talent and did not pimp out her kid. The photos were taken while she was in her back yard, not while she was in public.

BTW there is no record of JLo doing anything charitable with the money. The only charity is her.

[Alarmist]

Thank you! All the J-Lo lovers on here seem to forget that she lost no time between having the babies and making money off of them. It won't be long before her kids are 5 or 6, and she shops around photos of them riding their tricycles around the house, and baking cookies with her to People Magazine.

[texhall00]

Why is it the norm to say, "Marriage takes Work"? Working at a marriage is time consuming and its like pot luck, you don't know what your getting. Then you try to work at the marriage in order to have one. Donald Trump said, I work all day why should I come home and work at a marriage? I agree.
Of coarse children changes everything, did you think they wouldn't?

[coco51]

Let's try to temper the hate with logic. All relationship take work, Donald Trump lies if he says he doesn't work at his marriage. If he buys the wife flowers and/or jewelry, take her out to dinner for no reason or even for her birthday/anniversary, that's work. he's making sure she's happy so he can be happy. that you dress nicely and pay close attention to your duties on the job, that's working to make sure you remain employed.

It is disingenuous of you to decry what Ms. Lopez said, I'm sure you do stuff to make your personal relationships work. Furthermore, if you're asked a question during an interview one has to answer it. Sarcasm misplaced

[sweetwhine]

Just any reason to be rude and hateful right?

[mijumom]

And how many times has Trump been divorced??? Perfect example.

[progressivelady]

don't care for jlo not a nice person

and she doesn't believe in tipping

[andj]

she sold her babys for how many millions to some magazine.

she comes across as greedy and self absorbed.

Maybe she does humanitarian work and gives her time and money. I stand corrected if that is the case.

[KinkyGirl]

SHE SOLD HER BABIES??????

[andj]

i meant to say baby photos

[skunky93]

how do you know that? Is that even true?

[Michele Himmel]

So profound! Errrrrrrrm NOT!

[thelistener]

Breaking news: Motherhood changes everything! For those of you who didn't know.......

[anghiari]

Well listener, your smart mouthing makes no sense whatsoever....The truth is a lot of husband and wives who do not have children...learn the same thing fast...Motherhood and fatherhood changes everything and most haven't a clue how MUCH it changes things. Have you listen to Brad Pitt lately...thank goodness he loves the changes but it is a tough nut to crack with sleep deprivation and realizing that life will never be the same.

Lopez never had children before so she has an awakening that even you if you have kids had to come to. Far too many people think the kids will FIT into their lives...but its the other way around, you fit your life into their routine!

[4Ply]

Seriously.

[Bee]

Wow, it's been more than five years since Bennifer? Where does the time go?