Call them the "God Squad."
The New York Post reports that a group of "badass rabbis" is teaching a synagogue self-defense course to terrorist-wary temple-goers. Lessons include "how to take down a terrorist by the neck, how to use a table as cover from gunfire and how to execute a nifty running somersault while drawing a gun."
The group, known as the International Security Coalition of Clergy, is lead by Rabbi Gary Moscowitz, a former NYPD cop, who says things like "Jews are not like Christians... if I turn my cheek, I'm coming around to make a kick."
With gems like that, this is simply one of those news stories that could equally be at home on The Daily Show or in The Onion.
Watch the video below to see the rabbis in action. Gothamist nails it, saying it's a mix of "Wes Anderson, Adam Sandler, and the 'Sabotage' video."