Conservative Bible Project Cuts Out Liberal Passages

Lo and behold, the Bible has gotten too liberal, according to a group of conservatives. And it needs a little editing.

That's the inspiration behind the Conservative Bible Project, which seeks to take the text back to its supposed right-wing roots.

Yes, even scripture is not orthodox enough for the modern conservative. Not that it's the fault of the author(s), exactly. The group cites a few reasons why the Bible is too progressive: "Lack of precision in the original language ... lack of precision in modern language" and "translation bias in converting the original language to the modern one."

So how can the Bible be conservatized? The group has proposed a Wikipedia-like group editing project. Some of the ideas would only bring the translation closer to the original. But others would fundamentally change the text.

1. Framework against Liberal Bias: providing a strong framework that enables a thought-for-thought translation without corruption by liberal bias

2. Not Emasculated: avoiding unisex, "gender inclusive" language, and other modern emasculation of Christianity
3. Not Dumbed Down: not dumbing down the reading level, or diluting the intellectual force and logic of Christianity; the NIV is written at only the 7th grade level[3]
4. Utilize Powerful Conservative Terms: using powerful new conservative terms as they develop;[4] defective translations use the word "comrade" three times as often as "volunteer"; similarly, updating words which have a change in meaning, such as "word", "peace", and "miracle".
5. Combat Harmful Addiction: combating addiction by using modern terms for it, such as "gamble" rather than "cast lots";[5] using modern political terms, such as "register" rather than "enroll" for the census
6. Accept the Logic of Hell: applying logic with its full force and effect, as in not denying or downplaying the very real existence of Hell or the Devil.
7. Express Free Market Parables; explaining the numerous economic parables with their full free-market meaning
8. Exclude Later-Inserted Liberal Passages: excluding the later-inserted liberal passages that are not authentic, such as the adulteress story
9. Credit Open-Mindedness of Disciples: crediting open-mindedness, often found in youngsters like the eyewitnesses Mark and John, the authors of two of the Gospels
10. Prefer Conciseness over Liberal Wordiness: preferring conciseness to the liberal style of high word-to-substance ratio; avoid compound negatives and unnecessary ambiguities; prefer concise, consistent use of the word "Lord" rather than "Jehovah" or "Yahweh" or "Lord God."

Among the words to be eliminated: "government." A conservative columnist at Beliefnet described the effort as "just crazy ... like what you'd get if you crossed the Jesus Seminar with the College Republican chapter at a rural institution of Bible learnin'."

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Comments

[ZackShorty]

OMG! You must be scratching your head trying to figure out how you created all us Frankensteins.

[Berkeleylefty]

That's Frankensteen!

[applescruff]

I have been reading the original eyewitness accounts of the Spanish when they conquered the Inca King Atahuallpa. " This conquest of such great fortunes and numbers will cause joy to the faithfull and terror to the infidels,that this campaign has conquerred and brought to our holy Christian Faith so vast a number of heathens,aided by his holy guidance"
10,000 Incas were killed on this happy day for Christiandom.
I have to ask myself why someone claiming to be a follower of an institution that has taken such gleeful pride in killing whole cultures of millions of innocent people can still stand as a loyal adherent
to such a religion.
Does the fact that this happened hundreds of years ago now make it a forgiveable tresspass?
Where was the apology from the Christians for this these murderous exploits? The passage of time makes it OK and no longer a horrible act against humanity? Not once but over and over?
If this is the case I suppose it would be OK to give the Nazi's another chance.
I realize there are many good and decent people prescribing to the Christian Religion but do they really consider the horrible actions of the institution they claim loyalty to?
Seems to me there is something wrong and insidious about any Religion or Governemnet
that has over and over killed,displaced ,tortured and condoned such actions without even once acknowledging these deeds as wrong.

[Berkeleylefty]

These are the same people of god who would make the natives "shake hands with the swords" and fire their canons 'from the other side of the ship" to put the "fear of god" onto these heathens... nice bunch...No wonder the U.S. was the only country in the Americas to celebrate the 500th Anniversary of Columbus' Discovery back in 1992... Though I am still puzzled as to why he is called Christopher Columbus in English and Cristobal Colon in Spanish? I thought a name was a name?

[jamjam]

Well I do take your point. But while we're railing against murderous exploits:

Aztec human sacrifice: most of the rituals took more than two people to reform. The victim would be taken to the templetop, where he or she would be laid down on a stone slab by four Aztec priests. His or her abdomen would be sliced apart by a fifth priest with a flint knife. The cut would be made through the diaphragm, and the priest would remove the heart, still beating, from the body. He would put it in a bowl held by a statue, then throw the body down the temple stairs.

During the ceremony, the audiences gathered would stab, pierce and bleed themselves as autosacrifices. They'd dance, say hymns, whistle, and don spectacular costumes.

For the re-consecration of Great Pyramid of Tenochtitlan in 1487, the Aztecs reported that they sacrificed about 80,400 prisoners over the course of four days. Probably there were many fewer,historians suggesting between 10,000 and the 80,400 number being sacrificed in that one ceremony.

This is an average of 14 deaths per minute for the highest number. Comparatively, the Auschwitz concentration camp, murdering 24 hours a day, only equaled 19,200 deaths a day at its peak.

So, yeah, while that is an indigenous culture wiped out, it's hard to say barbarity is not human nature.

[deegee99]

The Aztecs had over-hunted the game in the area. So what they usually don't tell you is that the prisoners were a source of protein for the people. Once the dead prisoners were thrown down the steps the people dragged them away to feed the people. A feast. You do what you've gotta do.

[Talossa]

Thank you for putting things in perspective. The Conquistadores only got as far as they did because they had thousands of willing Indian allies, desperate to sign up with anyone who promised an end to Aztec rule. The Aztecs were the Nazis of the New World. Don't think for a minute that if the technological roles had been reversed, that the Aztecs would not have sailed to Europe and sacrificed Ferdinand and Isabella on top of a pyramid in Tenochtitlan.

[Epictitian]

So how can anyone believe in collectivism or redistribution of wealth after the appalling examples of Stalin, Mao, Pol Pot, and Castro? Apparently some are of the belief that failures of execution do not necessarily discredit the doctrine.

[MJinCanada]

Who do you think wants collectivism on a national scale? Nobody believes it works anymore.

[lungfish]

I don't know how many of you have been to the Basilica of the Virgin of Guadalupe or not... you would see the very questionable "artifact" that is the relic - looks like a hand painted icon only done on burlap....and you can practically hear the screams of the natives that found a horrible end at the hands of the Jesuits. All in the name of a Christian Jealous God....

nauseating...

[AuntWilma]

This subject of this story is so utterly ridiculous that I'm having a hard time deciding whether or not it's a spoof. From what I've found elsewhere it appears that someone may actually be serious about this.

[brummie]

So true. I'm double checking again to see if it's actually from The Onion.

[Tsckey]

Well, the Right has finally figured out what a lot of us have known for a long time: Jesus wasn't a Christian. So they're going to toss him and all his ludicrous notions of love and brotherhood under the bus. So, what are they going to call the new, Jesus-free sect? Oh, I know . . . Morons.

[KillgoreTrout43]

Whoops!

C Street;

http://www.lasvegassun.com/news/2009/jul/19/behind-closed-doors-c-street/

[Berkeleylefty]

That must make for some interesting "wrestling" matches between "The Family" and Opus Dei"

I wonder...

[dumboldfarmer]

C Street is definitely a threat to the constitution. Read the writings of Thomas Jefferson on the subject.

[KillgoreTrout43]

C Street;

[KillgoreTrout43]

"Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training, for it trains people as to how they shall think."--Schopenhauer

[Berkeleylefty]

What sounds better to a sheep who is about to have their wool cut?
A mean shepherd who cracks the whip and forces you into the box to get your wool sheared. Or someone who eases you into the stall and tells you that you have the freedom to be "liberated" of that heavy wool?

[Jim Michael]

Wow, Man re-writing the word of God? How can that be? What hubris, what arrogance! Wait, now I get it, conservatives and God are one in the same...at least the conservatves seem to think so.

[KillgoreTrout43]

Those on, "C," street go even farther.

[sparafucilli]

"Fabulous". This is clearly more evidence of Henri Bergson's "fabulation function". Yet another attempt to ensure adherence to the type of religion that Bergson defines as a "closed morality". Contrasted with an "open morality" that is dynamic and embraces creativity and progress. Christian Talibanist's, go figure! Next thing we'll see pictures of Christ dressed in camo-wear and hobailed boots.

[applescruff]

The Bible has been rewritten and reinterpreted many times. All for the same reasons. To persuade followers to act as the author's or editors think they should. Popes,kings and politicians have all changed,altered,omitted and modified what they claim to be the "word of God" to fit thier ideology and current beliefs. The Bible was assembled for religious and political advantage that continues to this day.

[alreadybad]

Very well said.

[LuluHB]

I'm so happy to see you write that. I was told, many years ago, that it was written for people who were pre-literate and had a mostly oral tradition. It seems to me that a person with a point of view would have no problem at all slanting the stories any way that they saw fit. I guess human nature doesn't change much as we evolve.

[MarsAmbassador]

Yes, but they're talking about problems with the ORIGINAL language, not just the translations. I quote "lack of precision in the original language".

I wonder when someone is going to tell them that Jesus was a liberal? And that all this hate and anger they have goes against absolutely every single thing he ever said? All they do is talk the wrath, death and destruction of the Old Testament and the Book of Revelation. You'd think these CHRISTians never learned a single thing about CHRIST. They probably don't even know that he wasn't even a Christian. And I'd like to know how many think he was white. I'm also sure there's a bunch of people out there that think Jesus was an American. Who owned guns. Lots of guns.

[bpai]

At first I thought this headline was from The Onion.

"Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities." - Voltaire

[lenoirlady]

I had honestly forgotten old Volt said that! Makes total sense and tis true! Frightening but true.

[fredisfred]

lol that's right. Just ignore the parts you don't agree with, or change them to suit your political views. Well done.

[MarsAmbassador]

Well, that's pretty much what politicized Christians have been doing since Day One, however it was relegated to simply picking and chooses what verses they launch at someone or use to justify their actions or point of view. In the modern era, we've seen politicized Christians twist the meanings of the words to suit their own purposes quite often, however this has got to be the first time someone decided to alter verses entirely or remove them altogether. I was under the impression that would be considered blasphemy, no?

[sparafucilli]

Hopefully they corrected the misspelling of GOD. It should of course be spelled GOP - as in "the word of GOP" or "GOP's Bible".

[jimbeaux1961]

The "Sermon on the Mount" will now be referred to as "The Sermon at the Designated Protest Site Twenty Blocks Away and Out of Public View."

[jimbeaux1961]

Jesus really does have some Democratic tendencies. Lousy Commie.