Have you ever looked, wistfully, at your expensive iPhone, and wondered: "Why can't this thing help me make the same noises, with my mouth, that you hear at the tag end of Roger Ailes' alimentary canal?" Well, wonder no more, because as it turns out, there's an app for that!
Chris Good, over at The Atlantic's Politics blog, has the news:
Say you're discussing the merits of health care policy with a conservative friend, and he pulls out his iPhone and starts thumbing around on it. He's not even paying attention to me, you think, when he looks up, eyes blazing, and fires off some fresh conservative rhetoric.
Your friend has probably purchased the Conservative Talking Points iPhone app, approved by Apple for sale and now available for $1.99 at the app store. It provides users with 250 talking points on everything from "America - The Greatest Nation Ever" to "Out of Control Spending" to ACORN to "Private Industries Taken Over (See Fascism in America)."
According to Good, the content for the application has been provided by a computer consultant named John Deans, who has "never written talking points professionally," so this should work out well! According to Good's report, Deans is very gleeful that Apple has demonstrated "conservative favoritism" by making his app available for sale after briefly rejecting "iSinglePayer," which sought to distribute talking points in support of a single payer health care system. Apple has since made "iSinglePayer" available, for free, whereas Deans app costs $1.99, so, it seems that "favoritism" is one of many concepts on which Deans is unclear.
Anyway, when all your affluent conservative friends start sounding like they're reading off a pocket-sized party hack teleprompter, now you'll know why.