Susan Klebold: Columbine Killer's Mom Writes Essay For Oprah's O Magazine; "No Inkling" Son Was Suicidal

DENVER — In the first detailed public remarks by any parent of the two Columbine killers, Dylan Klebold's mother says she had no idea her son was suicidal until she read his journals after the 1999 high school massacre.

Susan Klebold's essay in next month's issue of O, The Oprah Magazine, says she is still struggling to make sense of what happened when her son and Eric Harris killed 12 students and a teacher in the shooting rampage at Columbine High School in suburban Denver. Twenty-one people were injured before Klebold and Harris killed themselves.

"For the rest of my life, I will be haunted by the horror and anguish Dylan caused," she wrote. "I cannot look at a child in a grocery store or on the street without thinking about how my son's schoolmates spent the last moments of their lives. Dylan changed everything I believed about myself, about God, about family, and about love."

The killers' parents have repeatedly declined to talk about the massacre. They gave depositions in a lawsuit filed by families of the victims, but a judge in 2007 sealed them for 20 years after the lawsuit was settled out of court.

In her essay, Susan Klebold wrote that she didn't know her son was so disturbed.

"Dylan's participation in the massacre was impossible for me to accept until I began to connect it to his own death," she wrote in excerpts released by the magazine ahead of Tuesday's publication. "Once I saw his journals, it was clear to me that Dylan entered the school with the intention of dying there. And so in order to understand what he might have been thinking, I started to learn all I could about suicide."

In a statement with the essay, Oprah Winfrey wrote that Susan Klebold has turned down repeated interview requests but finally agreed to write an essay for O. A spokeswoman for the magazine said Klebold was not paid for the essay, and there were no plans for her to appear on Winfrey's television show.

A spokeswoman for the Klebold family said there would be no further statements.

In the essay, Klebold said her son left early for school on the day of the shootings.

"Early on April 20, I was getting dressed for work when I heard Dylan bound down the stairs and open the front door. Wondering why he was in such a hurry when he could have slept another 20 minutes, I poked my head out of the bedroom. `Dyl?' All he said was `Bye.' The front door slammed, and his car sped down the driveway. His voice had sounded sharp. I figured he was mad because he'd had to get up early to give someone a lift to class. I had no idea that I had just heard his voice for the last time."

She said she had "no inkling" how sick her son was.

"From the writings Dylan left behind, criminal psychologists have concluded that he was depressed and suicidal. When I first saw copied pages of these writings, they broke my heart. I'd had no inkling of the battle Dylan was waging in his mind."

Comments

[peterfairlane]

As a teacher, I want to comment on her attempt to blame the English teacher for not handing her the kid's essay. Parents are famous for shifting blame and she is no exception. What about the teacher who sacrificed his life? Did he not do enough to protect his students?

This woman is a joke and she deserves every ounce of criticism she gets. The problem is that she is representative of a larger culture of parents in our country that refuse to raise their kids with any kind of values and immediately blame educators for neglecting their kids!

[SonyaInTx]

I don't buy one word of Susan's story. Children living in your home do not get to have privacy.

Dylan and Eric were blowing up Molotov Cocktail bombs behind their houses. They were stockpiling weapons in their bedroom closets. They had put criptic video's on the internet. They've been arrested for criminal behaviour in the years leading up to the shootings. The parents have both been told of disturbing essay's they've written about mass murder. They wre allowed to go to school with trenchcoats on, unchallenged.

Everyone else who knew these kids knew they were anti-social. The parents knew it too, and chose to stick their heads in the sand after being warned by school officials and the police.

How on earth can she say ten years later that her child, "was a sensible kid"? It's known to everyone that the dad called the school as this massacre was going on to say that he was sure it was his kid.

The parents had their heads embedded in the sand then, and they refuse to see and admit what monsters they raised now. How disgusting that Susan refuses to admit that her bad parenting led to this tragedy.

[EvieEve]

This is ten years too late and did she ever personally apologize to the families of victims and to some of the victims themselves? Why is she being lauded for basically being a clueless parent. When I lived under my parents roof rent free, there was no such thing as privacy. If I had built pipe bombs and had weapons and went on the internet and talked about killing they would have found out about it. I'm sure she must feel awful, but come on lady. This was better left unsaid.

[OhMyGoodness]

There was a statement released shortly after the shooting.

[dylanangel]

I think this is a sad situation all around. I feel sorry for the parents and victims. I feel bad for Susan for not being more in touch with her son. What I wont sit here and stand for is making Dylan seem like some innocent little kid who was being forced or manipulated by Eric. Dylan was just as evil and just as much to blame in this whole thing as Eric was. Dylan walked around with a gun as well. Dylan shot and murdered those innocent kids as well. Depression is not something you can just hide and then one day it hits you "oh yea that's why this was this way". Susan may not be to blame for the deaths of all those children but she is to blame for how her son turned out. Sorry that's a fact. She chose to ignore the signs her son was in trouble. I am not a lawyer, I am a mother. My children are not in teen years yet but when they are I will make sure that I am involved as much as I am today. I think showing pictures of Dylan as an innocent child is insulting to the memories of those children he murdered in cold blood. Show him for the monster he was. That of course is my opinion and my opinion alone.

[monk2000]

Point is he WAS once a innocent child and turned out to be a mass murderer. Do you think he was a monster at 5?

[dylanangel]

To be completely honest I don't care what he was at the age of 5. I don't care to see that his mother was involved at that age and TOTALLY uninvolved at 17 when he brutally gunned down those kids in his school.

[monk2000]

I feel sorry for everyone involved. It's a tragedy on 1000's of levels. To not feel compassion for what Susan Klebold is going through shows how devoid of compassion you are.

[PatrickforO]

Hey lawgirl, I know Sue. As a father of two children in their 20's I can tell you that you do your best to make sure your kids get through their teens without doing something that ruins their lives or the lives of others. Easy to blame the Klebolds, but you never really know what your kids are thinking unless they tell you, and you never know what someone will do until they do it. I watched some families of victims, some of whom I also know, sue the Klebolds - all that ugliness - as if they could have had any inkling Dylan and Eric were going to do that. So, you know, quit second guessing someone for whom not a minute goes by that she does not think about this tragedy. Could you have prevented your kids from doing something like this, if they were determined to keep it from you? I think not, so perhaps you should not judge.

[monk2000]

She's going to be a lawyer. Compromising her ethics/morales and casting judgement PLUS being self righteous is what it's all about. She's going to be a perfect parent. You can tell by how she's so sure she's always 100% correct.

[lawgrrl]

She had NO idea he was suicidal? That is a possibility. She had NO idea he was depressed? Those signs are pretty obvious and can't just be chalked up to being a moody teenager, unless you dismiss it as such. Okay, let's play Devil's Advocate: she had no idea he was at least VIOLENT? He walked around wearing long black coats, he had some run-ins with the law, she never noticed the guns/ammo/etc in his closet (she never went in her own child's room!)???? Come one lady. He clearly knew mom would never come in his room or that stuff wouldn't have been out in the open for the FBI to find. She was clueless because she chose to. She gave him too much freedom, didn't ask enough questions (like, what are the black coats for, hon?). She didn't think his friend was freaky company?

[bog]

nice job of addressing all those tough questions. seriously, let's hope you're not becoming a lawyer. you know what of her experience other than the little snippets provided here? easy to assume the worst when it's not your life and choices up for assessment.

[Brendan H]

Yeah, I'm with you. Whenever I see someone in a black coat, I turn around and run. Everyone knows that black coats are a clear sign that you are going to go commit mass murder.

[jessicajuliette]

or you're overweight...

[KIVPossum]

Agreed. A parent might not know if a child is suicidal. But a parent should know if they are depressed, moody. They should pay attention to their children's associates. And certainly know what a kid keeps in their room.

If a kid can bring in that many gunes and that amount of ammo, without a parent knowing, the parent has their head in the sand

[Brendan H]

The guns were stored at Eric's house and if Eric suspected that he would get caught with them there, he would have just stored them somewhere safer.

[monk2000]

do you have kids?

[monk2000]

Coming from someone who's not a parent, you have 0 wisdom on the subject OR anything intellectual to add to it.

AS A PARENT and therefore being able to actually ADD something viable to the discussion, my heart breaks for all the parents who lost their kids that day. It also breaks for Susan Klebold. Dylan was 3-4-5-6 etc once. He fell asleep in her arms on the sofa as all kids do at one point or another. At one time he was a angel and her whole world. He wasn't born evil and to assume that Susan was a bad parent is pathetic. Parenting is 1000 x's harder then law school. Try to imagine the ACTUAL suffering she's going through before commenting. Not the suffering you go through when Express is out of the h0 shirt you wanted.

Law girl. Sound like a compassionate lawyer type to me. The world is obviously going to be better off with you as a lawyer. That's sarcasm.

[MTibbs]

I don't think these kids were "suicidal"--at least not in the traditional sense. They didn't just want to die, they wanted to take a whole lot of people with them. I'm sure they anticipated killing hundreds. Suicidal does not equal psychopathic.

m.

[Brendan H]

Eric was a psychopath. Dylan was suicidal. They were not even remotely motivated by the same things. Eric manipulated Dylan and turned him into a tool. Read the FBI psychologist's report.

[monk2000]

In some cases it does. You're a Psychologist? So this post is just your opinion and not something backed by any evidence. Lets just make that clear.

[PlanetMerlot]

I think the most insightful thing about this lady's upcoming piece will be how un-insightful she still is.

[justchill]

fanned...and i want to live on your planet

[monk2000]

How many kids do you have?

[huffponewbie]

I've seen a number of comments that blame this tragedy on bullying and to that I say, nonsense. The problem lies not in that kids are teased but in that they do not know how to either deal with or adapt so as to not be teased. Kids will pick on other kids it is in our genes. Millions of years of evolution have led to us having a need to establish one's position in the pack. Nothing we, as adults, can do can lessen this (think abstinence only education). What we can do is to teach kids that you win some and you lose some, that life is not fair, and that tomorrow is another day. And please don't give me your sob stories, I am only five foot two inches tall and if you don't think that I got my share of teasing you are mistaken.

[bbaker2580]

it's also in our genes to snap and go on a killing spree - life is definately not fair.

[amaboss52]

Kleibold and Harris fed off each other, Harris was a consumate liar, Kleibold had a hard timecontrolling his rage. A friend of mine, a Navy Seal, went with Ken Salazar then Attorney General of Colorado to Columbine after the attack. He told me that Kleibold and Harris's plan was much bigger than what it ended up. He said that had they built the bombs correctly, something to do with the timers, they would have flattened the school and killed in the 100s. I dont know that I blame the parents, how many of us at any given time when someone asks "whats Stevie up to" we would be able to give an accurate answer. Many kids hide their true feelings from their parents, and many times, even if we know something is wrong, will our child admit to it.

[gschear]

In the 70's I was bullied and ostracized starting in Jr. High by the "in" kids. The socials and the jocks.
It wasn't until I hooked up with the heads and the freaks that I felt unconditionally welcomed and started having a lot more fun. But unfortunately I noticed the other kids that could still not fit in. Some kept their heads down and bulled through the stupidity and crap of high school. Some quit. In any case more could and should be done to equalize the situation and create a safe environment for all students. Harassment and bullying should be slapped down viciously. Socialization is a process of learning to suppress instinct and encourage community. It should be a priority from early on. Other wise we are doomed to learn what Ralph and Piggy learned on the island.

[Alvin4NY]

I agree completely. Kids today don't seem to have any roots or feeling of connection, this essay shows Dylan's Mother to have been somewhat detached. To not even be aware of a slight or severe depression in your kids is to have your blinders on, or your running on the treadmill of life too fast, and need to slow down and re-prioritize. If the indifference of your classmates is met with the indifference of your home life, where do you turn? How do you get people to listen? What do your influences become? Who-ever pays attention to you. It's why kids get involved with sex, drugs, gangs, stealing, puking, cutting, etc. This is an extreme case, for sure, but the powere of connection, positive or negative-is what makes the difference. If parents aren't connecting or making the effort to, don't be surprised at the outcome.

[huffponewbie]

I dis agree. I think that all of this stems from us telling kids that they are special, and that they should be accepted "unconditionally". That is not how the world works. One can make adaptations to the conditions that cultures require for acceptance or one can choose to be an outsider or one can find a happy middle.

[profounddogs]

The guys who killed were the bullies, not the other way around. They found out how to be the bully, by buying guns and using them, by making bombs and planning to blow everybody to high heaven. I have no sympathy for these killers. That's all they were. I don't feel sorry for them either. I don't feel sorry for the parents either. There had to be a disconnect with the parents of these killers and vice versa period. Nothing more nothing less. Stop making excuses for killers.

[justchill]

agreed

[Brendan H]

While I don't agree with why he thinks this happened, he isn't making excuses. Trying to identify the root cause of WHY this happened is completely valid and useful in preventing a similar incident. If every time someone committed a crime we shouted down everyone who tried to explain what happened, we would never have developed forensic psychology, which helps us catch innumerable numbers of criminals.

[gschear]

spoken by someone who has never been humiliated for someone else's entertainment. I am assuming that High School was some of the best years of your life

[Alvin4NY]

uh, do unto others and all of that......guess you never heard of it......?

[robiform]

Ms. Klebold says that she had "no Inkling" about her son's mental problems. If I'm not mistaken, Dylan Klebold was arrested a couple of times prior to the Columbine massacre. I don't have children, and I'm certainly not an expert on child or adolescent psychology. But, if I was a parent and my child had been arrested a couple of times, I would definitely see to it that he/she got some type of counseling. Perhaps such counseling would not have prevented what happened, but it sounds to me as though Ms. Klebold was a somewhat "detached" parent and maybe, is trying to justify her "detachment".

By the way, being a "detached" parent has nothing to do with whether one or both parents work outside the home--it has to do with the quality of the time (or lack thereof) one spends with his/her children!

[theBUSHdemocrat]

Being arrested a couple times as a kid does not make a murderer.

Having a murderer for a son is not the mothers fault either.

[robiform]

Judging by your screen name, you seem to take after your mentor, because he plainly chose to ignore logic in his policy decisions, just as you ignore logic in your comment! I will try to clarify and I'll use small words so that maybe you'll understand! If a child has been arrested more than once, that should ring some alarm bells with a parent who spends quality time with her/his children. The logical thing for that parent to do in a case like that is to seek counseling for the child who has been arrested, and to make sure that the child is getting help from the counseling.

Got it, sport?

[OhMyGoodness]

But it should set off some alarms...
Mrs. Klebold was aware that her son had suicidal thoughts, anger issues and depression. She was aware that he was taking medication for his depression and that it appeared to be working. If this knowledge isn't enough to check his room and take a peek at his journals then I don't know what would have done it.

[dukesman2000]

Ma'am, you had "no inkling" because you didn't pay attention to your kids. I am sorry but a child who is nurtured and loved doesn't go out a kill people.

[bbaker2580]

mental illness can be negated via a nurturing and loving family?

noone raised by nurturing parents has been influenced by forces outside the family or has committed a crime?

dylan and eric are obviously the exception and not the rule no matter who they were raised by

[Theda]

She should have looked in his closet when he wasn't home. He had bomb-building materials and weapons in his closet.

[profounddogs]

These young men were killers and bullies themselves. The parents were disconnected with them. Nothing more, nothing less. Stop making excuses for them. They had no mental illness except a hatred for themselves and others. Period.

[Brendan H]

According to the expert psychologists who studied Columbine, Eric Harris was a psychopath and Dylan was a depressive. Both of them suffered from severe mental illnesses. Eric was a classic archetype of a serial killer.

It's not an excuse; It's reality.

[stagebandman]

Here's an overly simple question to a complicated problem: If we had real gun laws, could any of this have been prevented?

[BlackJAC]

It's less about gun laws than it is about not being a jerk. I was ostracized for no reason in college, and the animosity and distrust took such deep root in me that I actually threatened to sic the cops on a frat just because they were inviting me to their weekly late-night beer fest senior year.

[XRaraavis]

In many of these cases guns are obtained illegally. In the Columbine case they used a proxy buyer since they were too young, at Virginia Tech the gun purchases would have been denied if the state was properly following Federal law, and in the Omaha mall shooting the gun was stolen. It would take extraordinarily strict gun laws and confiscation of existing guns to have a chance of prevent this sort of thing

[Brendan H]

Just to be clear: The guns they used were bought through gun show loopholes. If every gun had a waiting period and had to be registered after a thorough background check, then they would have had to purchase the guns illegally which would have opened them up to the possibility of getting caught before the massacre. It also would have delayed their plans significantly, greatly increasing the chance that they would be found out beforehand.

[brightmidnight]

The Omaha mall shooting was stopped by a man carrying a legal gun, so in the case of that one, a gun actually *prevented* the crazy man with the gun from massacring dozens more people. He was not going to stop and said that he was killing in the name of Allah.

[bbaker2580]

there was a day on this planet where firearms didn't even exist - no gun laws required. so, did people only murder one another after the advent of firearms?

in modern history ted bundy, one of the most prolific serial killers in u.s. history, never used a gun, he used blunt objects and his bare hands - so proximity isn't the issue either.

mental illness, jealousy, greed, pridefulness, etc are the root causes - if you're intent on killing, a gun - or lack thereof - isn't going to stop you

[Brendan H]

I'm curious how many people they would have killed if they had to use knives.

[ibivi]

No. Even in countries where owning guns is severely restricted there are illegal weapons. Most countries that do not have rigid social compliance cannot stop gun violence. There just aren't enough police and the US is not a police state. The number of people who are psychopaths is on the rise. How does society deal with people who are incorrigible?

[Brendan H]

The guns they used were bought through gun show loopholes. If every gun had a waiting period and had to be registered after a thorough background check, then they would have had to purchase the guns illegally which would have opened them up to the possibility of getting caught before the massacre. It also would have delayed their plans significantly, greatly increasing the chance that they would be found out beforehand.

[monk2000]

Then the real question would be "WHAT IS MAKING THESE PEOPLE "INCORIGABLE"?"

Do you think kids are born this way? Nature v Nuture. I would doubt that anymore then .00000000000000000000000000000000000000000001% of all kids born are born EVIL or without a conscious. What do they go through at 5, 8, 10,15 that turns them into psychopaths that's the question. Because if you think that way more kids are born "EVIL" or without a conscious then the chances of that being your kid one day is more probable. OR do you think society and family life/social life have something to do with it?

When the have nots or the ugly kids see that the "POPULAR" kids get away with everything and are actually mean pieces of trash but get rewarded for it, can you blame them for becoming disillusioned?

When Teachers have really NOTHING they can do but contact a Psychologist and then force a kid into a further humiliating alienating situation does that help? These are teenagers not adults. As adults coping with things is difficult and admitting to yourself you need some help not always easy BUT for a 15-17 yr old this should be obvious?

When ADULTS or Football coaches, sport coaches, band teachers, bullying kids parents, turn a blind eye to it who's to blame?

Who are you blame casters kidding here today?