Mocking Mottos: Find Out What Really Defines Your State!

Hello, readers! We've decided it's time to update our state mottos...with lots and lots of mockery. Hundreds of you have submitted via email and comments to our little contest and we've posted the best below! (Special mention to Jason S. for sending this.)

RHODE ISLAND

By BurgessPenguin

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Comments

[amygdalalama]

Alaska: where the odds are good, but the goods are odd.

[Patricia0307]

New Mexico: The state of bad drivers. Fly through red lights or race up to red lights, and what are blinkers used for?

[jesselee26]

for some reason the censors did not like my last offering of kentucky mottos, but that doesn't mean i won't try again, because i feel that somebody's gotta represent:

kentucky: put a mint leaf in your cup and we'll swear you're not slumming it!

kentucky: we don't need a ba!lout; we've got the tooth fairy!

kentucky: to scared to secede!

kentucky: going barefoot ain't just for pregnancy no more!

[MeddlingMonk]

Kansas: You're not in Oz

California: Jock Strapped

Wisconsin: Warm Your Hands First

Alaska: Gateway to Russia

Massachusetts: Gesundheit

New York: Easier to Say than New Amsterdam

Utah: Were Jews are Gentiles

[Beki345]

Massachusetts: Soon to be known as Kenneda

[dawhiz]

Illinois - An Ex-Governor Made This License Plate

[Sinclair]

Georgia: Love our peaches, come and shake our tree!

Montana: Not part of Canada.

Montana: Our western border looks like Thomas Jefferson's face.

Montana: Just because.

Montana: Not part of Canada. Darn!

Texas: Mexico won't take us back.!

Texas: Assassinating presidents since 1963.

Texas: Mexico won't take us back. Darn!

Wyoming: Why not?

[hottingers]

Alabama: The Aristocrats

[navarro]

Vermont: Live free or don't.

[magneato]

Colorado: John Denver free since 1997!

[Social Construct]

Welcome to Oregon: The "what happens when hippies and hillbillies mate" state.
Welcome to Washington: The "extreme right and extreme left, no moderates allowed" state.
Welcome to California: The home of the IOU, "we blow sunshine up your ...." state.

[amygdalalama]

very true about Oregon and Washington

[ashisu]

So, uh... when you gonna post the rest of them?

[mikebarden]

I've been thinkin':
This idea of states squabblin' over braggin' rights might make a good video, but...
I don't know how to do that.

[suthfarb]

Minnesota: No, we are not from Ontario.

I am still cracking up over the Iowa one. Ah ha ha. We Minnesotan's are so cruel to the Iowans so that one is perfect.

Minnesota: PLEASE take her to Alaska.

[hottingers]

North Dakota: South Dakota Without All The Glitz