Obama: As A Woman, Michelle Had To Make Sacrifices I Didn't Have To (VIDEO)

WASHINGTON -- President Barack Obama says his family is like a lot of others -- in which the men "need to be knocked across the head every once in a while" in order to see imbalances between the time moms and dads put into raising children.

"There's no doubt that our family, like a lot of families out there, were ones in which the men are still a little obtuse about this stuff," Obama said Wednesday in an interview with NBC.

He acknowledged things are different now for his wife, Michelle, and him given that they live in the White House with all its creature comforts and army of residence staff.

"Today's Obama family is obviously not typical," he said. "Five years ago, six years ago, though, we were having a lot of negotiations. Because Michelle was trying to figure out, OK, if the kids get sick why is it that she's the one who has to take time off of her job to go pick them up from school, as opposed to me? If, you know, the girls need to shop for clothes. You know, why is it that it's her burden and not mine."

The president said he tried to learn to be better -- "to be thoughtful enough and introspective enough that I wasn't always having to be told that things were unfair. That once in a while, I'd actually voluntarily say, 'You know what? Let me relieve this burden on you. Let me make some sacrifices, in terms of how I'm using my time.'"

He's the first to acknowledge his efforts weren't entirely successful.

"The truth is that Michelle still had to make sacrifices of the sort that I did not have to make," Obama said.

Obama also played down a recent basketball game with male members of his Cabinet and lawmakers. No women were listed as participants in the game, played on a White House court.

The president said it was a standing game among House members that simply relocated to the other end of Pennsylvania Avenue. He faced criticism for the all-guys game; Obama brushed it off and said it was nothing more than basketball.

"I think this is bunk," he said.

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Comments

[katieandtom]

04:25 PM on 10/23/2009

kudos to obama for acknowledging that being a wife and mother is difficult. it is up to her to hold everything together and make everything okay. good for him for acknowledging that.

[DrBrewster]

11:34 AM on 10/23/2009

As if I needed another reason to be madly in love with Barack.

Michelle looks so beautiful in that Audrey Hepburn style dress.
Does anyone know who the designer is?
I’d love to find one for all the Holiday parties coming up.

[CatherineK]

10:56 AM on 10/23/2009

President Obama: What more can be said about him. He is a wonderful husband and father, and the potential to be one of the greatest Presidents of all time.

[MrOlympia]

08:47 PM on 10/22/2009

Absolutely!

[MrOlympia]

08:46 PM on 10/22/2009

He's good. Learn men learn.

[Deborah Paley]

06:21 PM on 10/22/2009

I just don't feel like arguing today. Looking for a job SUCKS.

[Progressiveama]

07:18 AM on 10/23/2009

Good luck.......no, show them your strength and intelligence!

[Deborah Paley]

08:56 AM on 10/23/2009

Thank you for your thoughts. It's really tough.

[katieandtom]

04:27 PM on 10/23/2009

im telling you deb, economy first, healthcare second. we have got to fix this economy. its getting really scary out there. this boat has got to stop and start backing up. if we keep this up, were in REALLY big trouble.

good luck, ill send good energy your way! :)

[southernsepia]

01:43 PM on 10/22/2009

Women have to sacrifice more, so what.

Having a child is a blessing, rasing and shaping a human being is a monumental task.

As someone who has raised two on my own I am not bitter. It was tough, but now that they are grown the sense of acomplishment is wonderful. The kids remember all those moments that you were there for them.

I'd rather have that than anything.

[katieandtom]

04:29 PM on 10/23/2009

i hope so southern, mine are 9 and 4 and its tough. im exhausted. i really hope that these little people turn out to be productive, thoughtful, personally successful citizens.

[fem56]

12:48 PM on 10/22/2009

What silliness. Men should be able to play basketball by themselves without question. Have men no rights these days! Men need this time together just as women do. I like getting together with my girl friends without men tagging along. Couples have to balance work responsibilties as a team. Two people in highly demanding jobs and small children often doesn't work because someone needs to attend to those little ones when they are ill. If you want the other person to do this don't marry a highly ambitious, career oriented person.

[FrenchWomenDont]

03:15 PM on 10/22/2009

So true, who wants a man to tag along on girls night out??? that means we can't talk about them!!!!

I want time with the girls and men have every right to have time with the guys!!

[azcamp]

04:43 PM on 10/23/2009

I agree. Let the men pretend they are in the NBA when they take to the court!

[Niasia]

12:42 PM on 10/22/2009

The nit picking is getting to be a tad ridiculous. How many times do you see women and men playing basketball together? I mean really? Also regardless of income a family will always have their ups and downs. And with the Obamas having two young girls I would think Michelle may have a bit more responsibilities. thats just how it is. I am glad to see a man that can at LEAST acknowledge that! So many time women give up on their aspirations or put them on the back burner for their families. It is just reality!

[GoIllini]

12:11 PM on 10/22/2009

I'm amazed at all the political comments on this thread. Wasn't this article about the inequities between husband and wife in child-rearing responsibilities?

The discussions between the Obamas are the same ones I have with my husband and as I'm sure many couples have. Even with both parents working, most wives end up with more responsibilities and spend more time. Every once in a while, I too need to "slap my husband upside the head" to get more help.

[JustAThought56]

07:23 PM on 10/26/2009

Well, here's the thing. For a woman to do these tasks, it is her job. For men it's "help." That sort of lays the whole problem out right there.

Because it is not "helping," it is called "parenting." It seems to me that things have not changed much. Women not only can work, they pretty much have to if you are going to maintain anything resembling a middle class existence. But women are still responsible for all of the same tasks at home as before, with perhaps some small concessions. Men are just as capable. Less willing, but certainly as capable.

When you have kids you are in it for the long haul. It has its joys, but there is no escaping the fact that it is hard work for a long time, and the payoff if there is one can only be found in the task itself. In fact, if you are hoping for anything else, you are already doing it wrong.

[Shashi0224]

10:48 AM on 10/22/2009

President Obama and Mrs. Obama obviously have an amazingly supportive, loving relationship. It's funny how the "family values" republicans can't find it in themselves to be proud of that, just because he is a Democrat.
Aside from that, can you imagine if President Obama played basketball with some women and knocked them over going for the ball? There is a real reason men and women don't compete against each other in sports.....men are stronger, on average, it's just the plain simple truth. There are no women in the NFL, the NBA or the NHL......what is the purpose of going there with the questioning of this interview?

[roannamac]

02:33 PM on 10/22/2009

Its not because he's a democrat. Its because he's shhh *black*

[anners]

10:39 AM on 10/22/2009

Interesting that he considers tending to the needs of his children as a "sacrifice" and "burden".

[Aesthete]

11:20 AM on 10/22/2009

Women DO make sacrifices to raise their children. I have known more than one female M.D. who gave up her career or medical practice to raise her family.

[SoccerNana]

11:30 AM on 10/22/2009

Interesting that all you want to get out of his remarks is negativity.

When one person in the marriage begins to feel that he or she is "always" the one having to take time off from work to take care of the children or something at home, then yes, you do begin to feel like you are "sacrificing" more and thus, a familial obligation unwittingly becomes a "burden" to the spouse who becomes overwhelmed.

[Mirabai305]

10:15 AM on 10/22/2009

I think, with the basketball game, what matters is why are those guys playing with Obama and are there any women who *want* to play? I mean, are these people personal friends of Obama, people he already had relationships with before getting elected? Would he be found playing with them before the election? Or is this a general Pres v. Congress basketball game where anyone who is in Congress is welcome to play? Or anyone who is a boy is welcome to play?

Also, who generally wins?

[ZenFUel]

11:59 AM on 10/22/2009

empower yourself and find out ...i think pres. clearly said that it was a game that has been going on between congressman ....why didn't the females of congress join the game then ? ....now that the president invited the group to the white house is the time for everyone to wonder why women aren't playing basketball 2 ? ....come on people

[Knowitall]

08:58 PM on 10/22/2009

Oh for pete's sake! It's a basketball game. A pickup basketball game--NONE of that stuff you just said matters.

[MyTurn2020]

10:10 AM on 10/22/2009

I think it's fabulous that this president acknowledges publicly and authentically what so few male world leaders have done in the past. President Obama moves the American agenda forward by including women in the highest posts in government--Kathleen Sebelius as HHS Secretary, adding Hillary Clinton as Sec. of State, the nomination of Supreme Court Justice Sotomayor, and bringing on the soon-to-be confirmed Surgeon General, Regina Benjamin.

President Obama rocks!

[JulieSA]

11:29 AM on 10/22/2009

Clinton and Bush had lots of female cabinet members and high level staff. This is nothing new.

[mairs]

01:56 PM on 10/22/2009

Can't remember the name of that girl fresh out of Christian third-rate law school who was responsible for firing people who weren't devoted to Bush. She was female.

[rain33]

11:33 AM on 10/22/2009

i agree with you too.

[drreader]

10:09 AM on 10/22/2009

While I appreciate that the President says he is sensitive to issues which affect millions of families, isn't he being a bit disengenuous here? Michelle's mother, according to Michelle, has been not just grandma but baby sittier in chief for years. It has also been reported that the Obamas had a full time housekeeper in Chicago,. So it's great that he realizes that the modern family has a lot of challenges, but I don't think that his family has had anywhere near the issues of most families today. I guess it depends how you define "sacrifice." Most parents want to be with a sick child,, pity should go to the ones who jeopardize their jobs or lose income as a result, not the ones who have to rearrange their schedules. I love the Obama's but this is another "arugula" moment to me.

[Clemgo3165]

11:44 AM on 10/22/2009

I didn't get that he was asking for our pity or even sympathy. It seemed to me that he was addressing the basic gender-based assumptions that are often made in families - the ones that say that when the kids get sick or need new shoes or whatever, regardless of their financial circumstances, its usually Mom who has to take off work to do it.

[sarah2010]

02:16 PM on 10/22/2009

I agree. The life that the Obamas lived back in Chicago was in no way typical of working or middle class families. They were upper middle class...Mrs. Obama had plenty of help from her mom and a house keeper. Plus she had a top executive position that allowed her to take time away from work to care for her children and not risk being fired or losing pay.
It is very disingenuous when they try to pretend as if they know what was real middle and working class families are going through. They have no idea. So instead of always trying to make it personal maybe the Prez and Flotus should just stick to the facts and talk to some families that really are struggling to get an idea of what it's really like to juggle work and a family.

[Progressiveama]

07:35 AM on 10/23/2009

He was talking about how their being in the White House was unlike the typical family. They worked for everything that they got! They did not start from backgrounds where family names got them into their schools. They WORKED. They inherited NOTHING. They worked Hard. Community organizers DO NOT make big money. Michelle stated when it was that they paid off their school bills. I can't remember when or if they have, but worked for years getting these bills paid. KNOCK OFF trying to make a false picture of them seem true. I won't go into a recent president who inherited EVERYTHING........a wealthy person who wasn't even allowed on a BOARD of one of his father's companies because he was doing no good on it, or the fact that he got into his school for one good reason, his family name. You are attempting to grow a lie. Thank goodness those who are in this room can DECIPHER between the truth and fiction. We'd have to TEACH our entitled past president what DECIPHER means!!