Joanne Lipman: The Mismeasure Of Woman

nytimes.com:

For the first time, women make up half the work force. The Shriver Report, out just last week, found that mothers are the major breadwinners in 40 percent of families. We have a female speaker of the House and a female secretary of state. Thirty-two women have served as governors. Thirty-eight have served as senators. Four out of eight Ivy League presidents are women.

Great news, right? Well, not exactly. In fact, it couldn't be more spectacularly misleading.

Read the whole story: nytimes.com

Comments

[h0tr0d]

The reality is the gender conversation is being driven by intellectually dishonest liberal feminists that have no credibility in middle america. As far as I can tell, the conversation is dead and will remain that way until some honesty can be injected into the discussion. Reading the Shriver Report, which is an ideologically driven, intellectually dishonest marketing tool, just confirms this.

[cam7]

This isn't about men. It's about us. Dorothy Thompson said, "Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live." When we begin to live freely, without fear, we will begin to be truly free. And then, nothing men do or say can affect us, and they will know it, and they will change.

[jeanneyogini]

Men may criticise successful women when they feel threatened by them as competitors, or to bolster their own low self image. And women looking to outer measures of themselves often feel insecure and don't have the confidence to stand up for their rights in the work place. The 'mismeasure' of women in business is due to insecurity and low self esteem on every one's part, not just men.

Reshaping our societal attitude as you suggest can also come from a rise in collective consciousness as people find means to purify their minds and deal with stress. As a teacher of meditation, I see women improve their self esteem by transcending to deeper levels of their Being that are more expansive and free from the limitations of stress and fatigue. Their self image naturally transforms when they are harnessing more creativity, clear thinking and inner calm.

Growing in power and confidence from within gives a solid foundation for self esteem that is not based on circumstances or approval from others. A woman radiating that kind of power is nourishing and doesn't threaten others, but creates admiration and respect. Changing the way we feel about ourselves through the direct experience of the greater energy and happiness of our Being is a subtle but effective way to change how others perceive us—for both women and men.

[jeanneyogini]

Mismeasure of women starts with insecurity and low self esteem on everyone's part. Those that criticise to make themselves feel bigger are threatened by the strength and intelligence of their precieved competitor. And women looking to outer measures of themselves instead of their own inner strenght and power feel insecure and radiate vulnerability which makes them a target for victimisation. Reshaping our societal attitude can come from a rise in consciousness. I see women learning meditatin and harnessing more creativity and clearer thinking, They grow in confidence from within, They use their power in a nourishing way that doesn't threaten others but creates admiration and leadership. Changing the way we feel about ourself by increasing awareness of our inner Being through meditation is one way to change how others precieve us as women or men.

[MrsFonebone]

This covers so much ground, but says nothing!

[T Pol]

cont.
For our children's sake (individually and collectively), it is time for both men and women to nurture respect for the other. One, so our children can grow up doing so. Two, statistically speaking, when women are economic losers, children suffer. Rather than just writing about it, I hope you and others, like the group I joined, will spend time mentoring, lobbying, educating and holding open the doors of opportunity when you pass through them.

[T Pol]

First, Joanne, thank you for understanding the correct interpretation that women "gaining" by men losing is NOT a gain!

I went to college in the mid- to late '70s. I didn't think about "women's place" in business or elsewhere because I was raised to believe I could accomplish anything. However, I joined a local business women's organization and learned about reality. As I became involved, I was surprised by women just a few years younger than me who, like you, thought that being a "feminist" was a bad, unfeminine thing to do. That we were "dry" and "shrill."

Measuring by respect is a good idea since, as you point out, women are referred to still in the basest of ways. One of the areas that respect needs to be nurtured is among women themselves, for women putting other women down still exists. The notion of any woman who is feminist is ugly, for example. Aside from not being true, the mere fact that a woman's beauty rating should render a political position valid or invalid is preposterous. It’s an old bullying tactic that underneath, every woman is sensitive about her looks, so hit a low blow. This mentality, sadly is rendered not just by men, but women, too...Ann Coulter being one of the worst offenders.

(A side note: contrary to media b.s., women in business DO support and respect stay-at-home moms, some of the hardest working women you'll ever find!)

cont.

[GardenerNorCal]

I think a simple question to ask is why the Equal Rights Amendment was never ratified? It only lackes three states. If women are serious about being seen as equal in this nation why not push for it's ratification? I can only think of one reason it wasn't passed by landslides in all fifty states.

Section 1. Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on account of sex.

Section 2. The Congress shall have the power to enforce, by appropriate legislation, the provisions of this article.

Section 3. This amendment shall take effect two years after the date of ratification.

[notb observer]

We have a long way to go before women are seen as full equals in our society. While we can take some comfort in knowing that we are light years ahead of countries in the Middle East (don't even mention Afghanistan !), there is quite a way to go yet. There are two things I believe have played an important part in stalling the progress on women's equality issues. The first is the fact that there is a glamorization of the Paris Hilton lifestyle. There are many other names but she is the most prominent, and she, and others like her who shamelessly waft through life using their looks and occasional crotch flashes have done tremendous harm to the rising status of women competent contributors in our society. I will not even get into the demeaning of women in the African American culture... The other factor, which is perhaps more hurtful to all, is the fact that it is not only women's progress that has stagnated, but the entire country's working class over the same 30 year period. The middle class has been decimated, and the corporate elite have no doubt happily used capable women at a fraction of the cost of men in the same way they have exported jobs overseas and are now paying men less than they used to. In fact, we all know that the only people who have really made any headway in the last 40 years are the 10% who own the country.

[dragonladywaltham]

I blame men for not stepping up to the plate to support equal rights. Years ago (many years ago) I predicted more women would be working than men. It has just about happened. We all know capitalism is based on profits. If they can hire one tremendous women to fill the position of two mediocre men at reduced price for one of the mediocre, they will! The time has come.

[nymjk]

So...the MEN are to blame for not enthusiastically giving up the societal benefits they have spent millennia accruing.

I, for one, have a type-A wife who is every bit my equal in this marriage, even though I am no shrinking violet. but it did take us both a second go round to get it right.

the men are confused by the preoccupation with gender equality. thus the trove of new programming regarding how much men just want to have something, ANYTHING they can hold onto that is reserved just for them.

heaven only knows how many women are kept warm at night only by the secure knowledge that they have acquired that feminist nirvana of "the power to choose."

why not ask your mothers, my contemporaries now turning 50 (the very first of whom came to age in the mid-70s and had the full benefit of the women's movement) whether I am right. many women i know wish they had made different decisions with respect to lifestyle, marriage, child bearing and rearing, etc.

life has a nasty way of teaching us lessons we wish we didn't have to learn. one of these, in this age of equality, is the death of lifetime alimony, replaced by durational spousal maintenance. if you have no idea what those terms mean, consider yourself very, very fortunate and pray real hard to whatever you pray to that you NEVER have to learn about them.

nuf said.

[BlackYowe]

Does she ever eat real food? She scares me.

[MissAngela]

What bearing does her appearance have? This is an important conversation, bigger than any one person, and bringing up her appearance, in my opinion, belittles the whole discussion.

[esthermiriam]

Anyone who ever read the magazine she edited --- make that, any aware woman who.... -- would know it was male money fantasy to the core and wonder how she had the nerve and the NYT the lack of wit to print this column:

[weatherwaxx]

I look at the headline, read the story, and then consider that picture used to illustrate it: a woman in a skin-tight top, with pencil-thin arms, sitting at an angle with her face thrust out with a look of anxiety and a big 'pleaser' smile... and I wonder if the lady knows what a mixed message she is sending.

[noaxe397]

Pencil thin arms? What picture are you looking at?

[ShakeYourComplacency]

I'm scratching my head too...her arms are toned, in fact it's apparent she has time to go to the gym. Her body weight is no less than most of the women shown on tv. I think the difference is...they're selling their looks, and she's selling her mind. They're going along with whatever the producers want, and she's talking about the state of women in american society. In fact, she's not really getting too heavy in the feminist talk, just a light article touching upon the perception of women and some brief stats on pay. See how threatening that is, though?

[brooklyncitizen]

Definitely the attitudes about women are negative and low-brow. The proliferation of porn and the general sexism that exists still put a wedge in progress. But this ugliness that now thrives in AMerica is directed at other groups not just women.

THe women's movement was a one time movement, at least the last round. Women are not a cohesive community working together for their advancement and a greater good. Women in the workplace are less sympathetic to their female colleagues than men are. Cliche or not it is a fact. There is no warm and fuzzy, there is that age-old female competitiveness that is unpredictable, passive aggressive and causes real harm in the workplace.

[weatherwaxx]

Cliche indeed, not a fact. I've worked in offices for a couple of decades and some women were as you described, while many others -- in fact, most others -- were supportive. Your gender-bashing is pathetic.

[brooklyncitizen]

It's not gender bashing and your post is anecdotal.

[sailaway2fiji]

This article is offensive to those of us who staye at home to raise our children, and forfeit our career and income in order to help our husband excel at work and be able to provide.
Why is a woman's value measured only by the $$ taken home? There are certain roles in society that should be respected and valued, rather than trampled over. I am not against woman’s rights, they should be able to take on any job they desire, and be compensated according to their abilities. But the role of motherhood should also be valued somehow. Maybe paying more to those men whose wife is at home with the kids??? Same goes for woman, if they are the sole providers for the family, they should also be compensated more somehow, maybe with special tax breaks? Perhaps there would be fewer broken families. Just a thought….

[weatherwaxx]

There's nothing in this article that says one thing about stay-at-home mothers. It is an article about women in business.

Your comment, on the other hand, suggests that broken families are being caused by working mothers.

Hypocrite.

[noaxe397]

Paying more to men with families versus men without is the very wage discrimination this article attempts to deal with.

People have rights when it comes to their treatment, including pay, in the workplace. These is no choice on that point.

There is no right to have children. That is a choice.

[DecaturAnnie]

"Women define success differently; for some it may be a career, for others the ability to stay home with children."

I don't know if you read the entire article? She doesn't insult women who decide to stay home with their children at all.

[MissAngela]

Thank you, a direct quote.

[itssafetosay]

Geez, the 1950's are alive and well in America. I'm not going to be so nice. This is the attitude that has kept the feminist movement from progressing. Women who would actually penalize another woman for not making the choice to have children.

I wanted to have children and my husband and I went to great expense to try to have them. Six miscarriages later we decided it was enough. I get tremendous satisfaction from my work. I should take less pay than your husband doing the same job because you are able to have children and want to stay at home? I hope you are not teaching your children such discriminatory ideas.

We still only earn .77 for every dollar that men earn. Women like this are truly one of the main reasons things have not changed. I've seen it time and time again over the years, things like women saying they'd rather work for a man than a women, the list goes on.

[gayleg]

You placed an op ed about women's rights between a story about doggie Halloween costumes and an actress making out with another woman for money.

Awesome!

Anyway, back to the article: I agree with the writer that the tide is turning backward on women. I also agree we have to look at the culture to figure out way.

Unfortunately the writers "solutions" are nothing but lame motivational cliches. "Have a sense of humor!" "Look pretty!" It's almost as if her editors decided the real solutions were to "feministy" and forced her to change the end. Changing a culture takes good old fashioned activism and solidarity amongst those in the affected group. You can only change sexism by recognizing it and challenging it at every turn.

Looking nice and having a good personality may help some individuals personally, but it'll do jack squat for women as a class.

[CydMiller]

As for Women's Rights, the fact that a woman can make out with another woman indicates an advancement in the women's rights column. As for dog Halloween customes, as long as the girl and boy dogs can wear the same customes, we can add another check mark.